Deborah Tannen’s #1 New York Times bestseller You Just Don’t
Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in
her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is
potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women’s lives:
the mother-daughter relationship.
It was Tannen who first showed us
that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters
speak the same language—but still often misunderstand each other, as
they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and
independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they
are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be.
Each overestimates the other’s power and underestimates her own.
do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while
mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and
daughters critique each other on the Big Three—hair, clothes, and
weight—while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they
scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves?
answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark
that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion
when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every
aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a
woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and
instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication.
Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other,
the key to improving their relationship.
insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own
mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied
up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen’s humor as they see themselves on
every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and
opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, You’re
Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the most important
relationships in our lives. Download and start listening now!