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Download I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking In Families Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking In Families Audiobook, by Deborah Tannen Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (153 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Deborah Tannen Narrator: Patricia Mulholland Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date: February 2012 ISBN: 9781442353879
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Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? Linguist Deborah Tannen reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic -- even when we're all adults.

Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages -- unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said.

Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen explores what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening audiobook explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers -- and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters, why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives. BY helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age. Download and start listening now!

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Quotes & Awards

  • “Parents of teenagers may also find some good insights in Tannen’s clear-sighted analysis of how clashing frames of reference undermine communication.”

    Publishers Weekly

  • “Tannen inspects the ‘metamessages’ of family communications, the unstated meanings behind what is said. She demonstrates the layers of meaning, advises readers on metacommunications—that is, talking about ways of talking—and considers how to change how one communicates with family members. A fascinating book for quite a variety of readers.” 

    Booklist

  • “A fine stimulant to conversation, constructive argument, and research.” 

    Library Journal

Listener Opinions

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Caroline | 1/5/2014

    " didn't finish..but read enough to get the main points of it. Now, I see myself thinking of the book a lot when I communicate with others. the alignment theory is very interesting. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Laura | 12/18/2013

    " Commonsensical but very good read. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Christine | 11/10/2013

    " Really just skimmed this but some of the points were interesting. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Donna | 4/28/2013

    " After the few first chapters of the book explained the dual communication embedded in every conversation: literal message and metamessage, as well as illustrating each conversation's ability to create alignments of power and connection between participants, the text became repetitious. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Marita | 4/5/2013

    " Very helpful to know about the usual and different ways and styles people communicate. Had to laugh about the differences in the ways boys and girls talk. So true!!! Loved it. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Eric | 1/25/2013

    " Some valuable tips for awkward, sometimes necessary conversations. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Jan | 7/4/2012

    " Good real life examples of communication breakdowns but I was hoping for more suggestions and ideas on improving communication to strengthen relationships. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Apple Gilr | 6/26/2012

    " it's a great book ^^ "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Selika | 6/7/2012

    " When I lend it, people fall in love. It's a good way to break problematic communications patterns and deal with difficult family members. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Diane | 4/21/2012

    " It was easy to read. I now know what my siblings think of me. "

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About the Author
Author Deborah TannenDeborah Tannen is the acclaimed author of You Just Don’t Understand, which was on the New York Times bestseller list for nearly four years; I Only Say This Because I Love You, which won the Books for a Better Life Award; Talking from 9 to 5, a New York Times bestseller; That’s Not What I Meant!; and many other books. A professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, she appears frequently on such shows as The Oprah Winfrey Show, Today, Good Morning America, Nightline, 20/20, and NPR’s All Things Considered. She lives with her husband in the Washington, D.C., area. Her website is www.deborahtannen.com.