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Download That's Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample Thats Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships, by Deborah Tannen Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (520 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Deborah Tannen Narrator: Deborah Tannen Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio Format: Abridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date:
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You know the feeling: You thought you said exactly what you wanted to, but somehow a different message comes across. You end up feeling misunderstood...and the relationship that you're building -- at home, on the job, on a date, or in an interview -- slips a little further out of your control.


Talk is the key to any relationship and conversational style is the key to any conversation. In That's Not What I Meant!, Dr. Tannen helps you recognize your own conversational style and understand the styles of others.

Whether you are dealing with a person who's too quiet or someone who's a conversational bulldozer, learning to understand conversational style will help you deal with any situation. Through this understanding, you can prevent small differences from sparking big arguments, really hear what was said -- and what wasn't.

That's Not What I Meant! will give you the tools to save any conversation -- or relationship.

Download and start listening now!


Quotes & Awards

  • “Tannen combines a novelist’s ear for the way people speak with a rare power of original analysis…fascinating.”

    Oliver Sacks, New York Times bestselling author

  • “Dr. Tannen enlivens the science of linguistics with humanity and humor. That's Not What I Meant! impels us to listen to ourselves…and take heed of what we hear.”

    Andrew Hacker, New York Times bestselling author

  • “We are, all of us, foreigners to each other: editor and writer, man and woman, Californian and New Yorker, friend and friend. Dr. Tannen shows us how different we are, and how to speak the same language.”

    Jack Rosenthal, Pulitzer Prize winner and editor, New York Times

  • “Offers intriguing insights into where we go wrong with language and how problems get started.”


  • “Tannen’s writing is lively, she states her case clearly, and provides a fresh look at a subject which concerns us all. Recommended.”

    Library Journal

  • “Deborah Tannen shows us why conversations, and consequently friendships, marriages, and even jobs, can break down even with the best intentions, and how linguistics can come to the rescue.”

    Jeremy Campbell, author of the Grammatical Man

  • “Many talk about language and discourse as forces in our lives, but Tannen is one of the few who locates the significance of linguistics where it belongs, in our ways of speaking to each other.”

    Dell Hymes, Graduate School of Education, University of Pennsylvania

Listener Opinions

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 by Kaethe | 2/16/2014

    " Like anything at all self-helpy, Tannen relies on some broad stereotypes of behavior. But, also, I think she has useful information to impart. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 by Michael | 2/16/2014

    " Consider trite pop-culture self-help to some, it really did help me understand some miscommunication problems I've had with people. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 by Magila | 2/8/2014

    " really awesome book about communication. deb tannen has a way of explaining your everday breakdowns in communication in a totally understandable way. great book, great author, makes you think while being a generally easy read. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 by Alexasapp | 2/2/2014

    " I do not usually have the patience to read this sort of book. It turned out to be a collection of common incidents and ideas that put together make a lot of sense. Very practical, it was worthwhile reading. "

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