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Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage (Abridged): America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship Audiobook
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(3.60) - 271 listener ratings
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Publisher Description
In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital tools—scientifically based and empirically verified—that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication.
In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice.
What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.
Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.
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"Really liked this book, the way it was written and the format. Good examples and the exercises provided seemed realistic to try. It was really helpful to see how the clinicians broke down the positives and negatives of each couples dialogue. I will definitely be reading more by the Gottmans!"
— Jennifer (4 out of 5 stars)
Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage Listener Reviews
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" Again, not a big self-help book fan. However, I heard about the author during a talk at work, and was fascinated by the scientific basis of his approach to healing relationships. For instance, he can predict with over 90% accuracy whether couples are going to succeed or fail. What's even more compelling is that he's identified the variable that allegedly determines whether the relationship succeeds/fails. Plus, the book has anecdotes about couples working through their problems, including transcripts of their conversations, and it's (sadly) hilarious how people talk to each other ("you idiotic dolt!"). It's very interesting so far. "
— Stephanie, 2/15/2014 -
" a scientific and thorough look why your partner is not a very good communicator "
— Paul, 1/9/2014 -
" A must read for all couples. Easy to read and understand. No unnecessary psychological jargon. "
— Christie, 12/17/2013 -
" Not as much wisdom as I was looking for, but some pretty good basic principals. "
— Andrew, 11/9/2013 -
" Another interesting Gottman read, based in his long-term research. Many of the same principles are covered in each of his books but each with a different focus. This book uses a case-study approach, looking at different couples exemplifying typical challenges found in marriage. "
— Jennifer, 11/3/2013 -
" I really enjoyed the different aspects that this husband and wife psychologists gave in regards to relationships in general. "
— Lesley, 10/13/2013 -
" I would have finished this book; however, it got returned to the library (I think). I may still pick it back up as I did eventually get into the material and enjoy the conversations and perspectives and the successes being shared. "
— Tony, 9/9/2013 -
" I think this book has lots of useful information for anyone committed to strengthening their relationship. Looking forward to reading the book about raising children. "
— Christine, 8/18/2013 -
" This is my 1st marriage "self help" book. Although I found that my husband and I could relate to a few of the situations; I also felt that the case studies live in mr. Rogers neighborhood. "
— Tonya, 7/10/2013 -
" It would be a good idea to keep this handy to refer to as needed, as a lot of it would not be especially easy to master quickly. Useful techniques and helpful exercises. "
— Sara, 5/12/2013 -
" Love this book! Has great exercises and breaks the chapters down into very common couples issues. I have already started using the exercises with my couples! "
— Crystal, 4/7/2013 -
" More helpful exercises that can make a Great Dates topic or marriage prep activity "
— Carrie, 3/10/2013 -
" I didn't realize this book just went through several different marriage problems and addressedways to remedy them. A few interesting points but not what I wanted. "
— Jessica, 6/18/2012 -
" I thought this was a bit laborious and not exactly highly interesting reading, but worth it for me personally. "
— Angela, 3/28/2012 -
" This wasn't the revelation that & priinciples was, but it is still a really helpful read. "
— Melina, 10/9/2011 -
" I agree with the premise behind everything Gottman stands for. I do wish the approach was more focused on solutions rather than the abstract. "
— Lauren, 6/2/2011 -
" This is a fantastic book on communication between spouses or in a relationship. It was very enlightening. "
— Josh, 12/31/2010 -
" I really enjoyed the different aspects that this husband and wife psychologists gave in regards to relationships in general. "
— Lesley, 11/1/2010 -
" This is a fantastic book on communication between spouses or in a relationship. It was very enlightening. "
— Josh, 8/24/2010 -
" More helpful exercises that can make a Great Dates topic or marriage prep activity "
— Carrie, 6/2/2009 -
" I thought this was a bit laborious and not exactly highly interesting reading, but worth it for me personally. "
— Angela, 5/29/2009 -
" This wasn't the revelation that & priinciples was, but it is still a really helpful read. "
— Melina, 10/31/2008 -
" Another interesting Gottman read, based in his long-term research. Many of the same principles are covered in each of his books but each with a different focus. This book uses a case-study approach, looking at different couples exemplifying typical challenges found in marriage. "
— Jennifer, 8/23/2008 -
" Not as much wisdom as I was looking for, but some pretty good basic principals. "
— Andrew, 5/29/2008
About the Authors
John M. Gottman, PhD, is the cofounder and codirector of the Gottman Institute, along with his wife. He is also the James W. Mifflin professor of psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle and the recipient of numerous national and international awards for his groundbreaking relationship research. His work has been featured on many national television shows, including the Oprah Winfrey Show, 20/20, Dateline, and Good Morning America.
John M. Gottman, PhD, is the cofounder and codirector of the Gottman Institute, along with his wife. He is also the James W. Mifflin professor of psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle and the recipient of numerous national and international awards for his groundbreaking relationship research. His work has been featured on many national television shows, including the Oprah Winfrey Show, 20/20, Dateline, and Good Morning America.
Joan DeClaire is a freelance writer specializing in psychology, health, and family issues. She lives in Seattle.
About the Narrators
L. J. Ganser is a multiple Audie Award–winning narrator with over six hundred titles recorded to date. Prized for versatility, his work ranges from preschool books to crime noir thrillers, from astronomical adventures in both science and science fiction, to Arctic Circle high school basketball stories. He lives in New York City with his family and dog, Mars.
Anne Gartlan has extensive experience on stage and as a voice-over artist. She has been heard on hundreds of commercials, narrations, and audio books. Her voice is particularly recognizable for her work for the Today show on NBC and The Early Show on CBS.