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Find out how to successfully resolve your most emotionally charged conflicts. In this landmark book, world-renowned Harvard negotiation expert Daniel Shapiro presents a groundbreaking, practical method to reconcile your most contentious relationships and untangle your toughest conflicts. 
 
Before you get into your next conflict, read Negotiating the Nonnegotiable. It is not just “another book on conflict resolution,” but a crucial step-by-step guide to resolve life’s most emotionally challenging conflicts—whether between spouses, a parent and child, a boss and an employee, or rival communities or nations. These conflicts can feel nonnegotiable because they threaten your identity and trigger what Shapiro calls the Tribes Effect, a divisive mind-set that pits you against the other side. Once you fall prey to this mind-set, even a trivial argument with a family member or colleague can mushroom into an emotional uproar. Shapiro offers a powerful way out, drawing on his pioneering research and global fieldwork in consulting for everyone from heads of state to business leaders, embattled marital couples to families in crisis. And he also shares his insights from negotiating with three of the world’s toughest negotiators—his three young sons. This is a must read to improve your professional and personal relationships.

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Quotes & Awards

  • Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is sure to be required reading for diplomats and peace-builders alike. Nancy Lindborg, President, United States Institute of Peace
  • Those seeking peaceful resolutions should keep this book on a bedside table. David Gergen, former White House adviser; Co-director, Center for Public Leadership, Harvard Kennedy School of Government
  • Shapiro exposes the myth that humans are primarily rational in their decision making. There’s a fundamental conflict between Homo economicus and Homo emoticus – the emotional human being. . . . We tend to make decisions based on emotions – and then come up with rational justifications after the fact. This conclusion leads to an important question: Is it possible to put a price on emotions? . . . As a psychology professor, Dr. Shapiro is uniquely able to address a number of interesting aspects of negotiation the rest of us often forget. . . . More importantly, he discusses the conflicts between good and bad that take place in all of us . . . . The world has been enriched with another intelligent lecture on how we should interact with each other. Hopefully this time we will listen. Forbes
  • Appealing to rationality isn’t always the best way to mend a rift; instead, both parties in a negotiation have to be willing to get in touch with the conflict’s more emotional underpinnings. In his book, Negotiating the Nonnegotiable [Shapiro] shares the strategies he’s used to help people in all kinds of settings access the core emotions driving their conflicts and reach mutually beneficial resolutions. Business Insider
  • It is important, according to the author, to focus on the space between the conflicting sides in which a solution can be found. Shapiro begins by explaining the ‘Tribes Effect,’ the force that binds each of us to our communal identity. The same beliefs that bring us together, however, also separate us from other tribes. . . . [Shapiro] offers concrete suggestions on ways to break the pull of these emotional forces, build consensus, and finally bridge the gap between conflicting sides when the ultimate goal is reconciliation of the parties. Personal and global anecdotes bring warmth to the narration, and Shapiro’s keen insights give readers a blueprint for successful negotiation. Booklist
  • A masterpiece—clear, insightful, and practical. . . . Highly recommended! William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes and author of Getting to Yes with Yourself
  • Daniel Shapiro brings brilliant insights to the baffling conundrum of our age, intractable disputes of all kinds. Negotiating the Nonnegotiable will help anyone bring practical tools to the table whenever confrontation looms. Daniel Goleman, author Emotional Intelligence
  • A must-read! Dan Shapiro’s Negotiating the Nonnegotiable offers bold, practical, and uplifting advice to reduce the turmoil of conflict and foster reconciliation in your professional and personal life. Michael Wheeler, Harvard Business School
  • Daniel Shapiro provides us with one of the most optimistic and compelling approaches to conflict resolution of our time. Howard W. Buffett, Lecturer in International and Public Affairs, Columbia University
  • With telling examples from the bedroom to the boardroom to the war room, this book gives us something invaluable—a way both to see the perils of identity conflict in negotiation and to avoid them. Robert Cialdini, Author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
  • Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is one of the most important books of our modern era. Jaime de Bourbon de Parme, Ambassador of the Netherlands to the Holy See
  • A life-changing book!  If you are going to read one book this year to improve your life, choose Negotiating the Nonnegotiable. Simona Baciu, Founder and President, Transylvania College
  • Dan Shapiro has written a book that is at once both profound and practical, heartfelt and hopeful . . . Immersion in his wisdom is a must for anyone trying to prevent or resolve conflicts. Matthew Bishop, senior editor The Economist Group and Co-founder of the Social Progress Index
  • A modern masterpiece! Bold and compelling from the first page. . . . Every leader should read it and live by it. Katherine Garrett-Cox, CEO, Alliance Trust Investments
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