Before you plan your wedding, plan your marriage! Wish you could know what you’re getting into when you say “I do”? Now, with Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, you can. Dr. Gary Chapman, #1 New York Times best-selling author of The 5 Love Languages™, has spent the last thirty-five years counseling couples. In Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married, he shares what he and these couples have learned from experience. Among the twelve things you should know: that being in love is not enough to make a successful marriage, that romantic love has two stages (and how to make the transition), that mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic, and that personality profoundly affects behavior. The stakes on marriage are high, but the rewards of preparing are even higher. Whether you’re single or dating, this audio can be your relationship blueprint and help you decide if and when you’re ready to tie the knot. If you’re engaged, even recently married, it will help you examine your relationship foundation and learn the skills necessary for building a successful marriage. Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married was written to help you realize your goal of marital happiness. But don’t just listen to it—experience it. Grapple with the practical tips and ideas discussed, honestly share your thoughts and feelings, respect each other’s opinions, and find workable solutions to your differences. The more you do so, says Chapman, the more you will be prepared for marriage.
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"Like many of Gary Chapman's books, this is a fast, easy read filled with useful and practical suggestions. Several of the topics covered in this book at topics I have regularly discussed with people over the last 30 years. My top picks would be How romantic feeling need aren't enough, that you need to work to keep love going. Understanding differences and choosing to love your partner in a way that is meaningful to them. How forgiveness and apologizing are key to making a marriage work. How background can effect a relationship. If I was to write a book to someone who is dating and wanting to know about getting ready for marriage, this is what I would have written, except not as articulately. The only thing I wish Chapman would have stressed a bit more is the danger of looking to a marriage and your partner to provide things that only God can provide. This is one of the biggest problem areas I have seen over the years in marriages between relatively mature people. For someone who haven't thought through relationships this is a 4 star book. For someone who has had good role models and has thought in depth about relationships it might be just 3 stars simply because you might not find a lot of "new" or "challenging" here… though knowing and practicing can be two different things."
— Mark (4 out of 5 stars)
" This has a lot of practical wisdom written in it and really good for discussing different things within marriage when engaged or for pre engagement. Very good to read. "
— Kelli, 2/14/2014" This book is really beneficial, regardless of what stage your relationship is in. Growing up, we tend to get attached to certain ideas about what marriage will be like, when the reality is nothing like those ideas. Rather than being blindsided by how things actually are when marriage arrives, this book helps you to establish a perception of marriage that is grounded in truth. Having a realistic view of marriage will most definitely prevent disillusionment, so I highly recommend this book. The chapters were short, easy to read, and easy to understand. There are also resources included in the book that the author recommends for further study and growth. I really enjoyed this book! "
— Sara, 2/10/2014" Some good ideas of things to discuss before marriage and to keep in mind afterwards. "
— Ceira, 2/2/2014" This book was written for couples that are in a dating relationship or engaged; however, there is a lot of information that was helpful in looking at my relationship now, and the desire to make it the best it can possibly be. The book was well written (though I think not necessarily as in-depth as it could be) and very understandable. Altogether, a good read for anyone in a relationship and wanting to better understand their partner. "
— Aaron, 1/25/2014" This is an AMAZING book, for anyone who wants to know how to have a successful long-term relationship. Even though I'd heard some of it before, Gary Chapman brings the elements of relational balance into new lights with this easy-to-read, interactive text. The exercises are great for couples, but the insights are the must-read! "
— Laura, 1/21/2014" Short read that gives singles, couples, or married folks some critical questions to ask themselves and each other. Those questions could lead to ending an unhealthy marriage or strengthening a waning one. "
— Aaron, 1/21/2014" This book covers all the major issues that typically cause rifts in marriages. Chapman makes a good point when saying that couples typically plan more for the wedding than for the marriage. Great preparation as I continue my journey towards marriage. "
— Nicole, 1/13/2014" This book covers some pretty intuitive topics, but I really appreciate Gary Chapman's ability to explain things in a simple and clear way. I found the chapter on apologizing to be most helpful. "
— Carrie, 11/24/2013" An easy read with some practical tips. I'm not sure how helpful it will be because we haven't implemented any of the suggestions yet. "
— Evin, 11/8/2013" Never too late! Got it in a gift bag at a bridal show. Should be required reading before you get a marriage license! "
— Nina, 11/8/2013" I do wish I had read ths book before getting married. Marriage is much easier if you prepare for it by discussing your expectations and learning what your partner values. "
— Jo, 11/1/2013" It's a good book if you have never live with the person for longer than one year. If you have, you've most likely already figured out what the book will teach you. "
— B, 10/21/2013" I liked 'The 5 Love Languages,' but found this work way too religious, in a very preachy way. "
— Kristen-Marie, 10/11/2013" Short easy to read chapters. I really wish someone had given this to me when I was engaged! Makes you think and I agree with a lot of it. Wish more people prepared for marriage and not just the wedding. "
— Lisa, 8/22/2013" This was a wonderful book for my fiance and I. It really got us to open up and discuss things that really helped our relationship and our preparation for marriage! "
— Aly, 3/27/2013" Once again, I don't think I'm in the book's target audience. For those who are (young couples, whirlwind romance and fast engagement, expecting compatibility alone to guarantee marital success), this is probably a very eye-opening helpful book. "
— Laurel, 3/24/2013" This book is wonderful. Full of great information to be used in any relationship! "
— Jessica, 3/9/2013" Good Companion book to 5 Love Languages, especially for couples considering marriage. "
— Jeff, 2/14/2013" Great book for those who are considering marriage but beneficial to anybody in a relationship. "
— Amber, 2/4/2013" It's true: this book deals with things I wish I'd known before we got married. A must read for all couples who are getting married - and not just those who are young and marrying for the first time! "
— Lis, 1/10/2013" Seemed a bit geared towards younger couples who don't have a lot of real, adult experiences under their belt, so some of the advice has kind of a "duh" feel to it. Also, as a non-Christian, some of the religious and spiritual components of the advice didn't really fit for me. "
— Liz, 3/4/2012" Pretty fluffy. "
— Eric, 1/19/2012" Flipping through this at the library piqued my interest. Reading it was frustrating, though, because while the content makes sense and is good advice, I would think that most of it would be obvious to a thinking couple. "
— Christina, 12/18/2011" This was a wonderful book for my fiance and I. It really got us to open up and discuss things that really helped our relationship and our preparation for marriage! "
— Aly, 4/12/2011" I WISH I had read this book first. Excellent skills for relationships. "
— Jane, 2/16/2011" Seriously, why didn't this come out 10 years ago?! Great information. I felt our premarital counseling was good, but just listening to this audiobook makes me wish we'd gotten more detailed into the nitty gritty of a married relationship. "
— Amanda, 2/8/2011" I think it might be geared more towards younger couples. Being over 30...well it was more a validation of what we already knew. "
— Jalice, 1/22/2011" I liked 'The 5 Love Languages,' but found this work way too religious, in a very preachy way. "
— Kristen-Marie, 12/17/2010" Very applicable. Very understandable. I was advised to read this and now I advise anyone else who wants to get married someday - or who is - to check out Gary's advice. "
— Laura, 12/13/2010" Most of these issues I have delt with already. If you have no clue if you are going to get along this book has helpful quizzes that could help. "
— Traci, 11/8/2010Gary Chapman, PhD, is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling The 5 Love Languages. With over thirty years of counseling experience, he has the uncanny ability to hold a mirror up to human behavior, showing readers not just where they go wrong, but also how to grow and move forward. Dr. Chapman holds BA and MA degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively, MRE and PhD degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and has completed postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University.
Chris Fabry is the author of more than thirty books, as well as a former broadcaster in Christian radio. His radio credits include Focus on the Family, Love Worth Finding, and Reaching Your World with Luis Palau. He and his wife, Andrea, live in Colorado with their nine children.