Extended Audio Sample

Download The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head up Their Ass Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head up Their Ass Audiobook, by Bill Maher Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (1,620 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Bill Maher Narrator: Bill Maher Publisher: Penguin Random House Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date: November 2011 ISBN: 9781101532928
Regular Price: $15.00 Add to Cart
— or —
FlexPass™ Price: $14.95$5.95$5.95 for new members!
Add to Cart learn more )

From the New York Times bestselling author and host of HBO’s Real Time, here is Bill Maher’s latest collection of political riffs and savagely funny suggestions for preserving sanity in an insane world.

New Rule: The next Republican Convention must be held in a giant closet. Every week there’s a new gay Republican outed. I have a feeling that “big tent” they’re always talking about is in their pants. There are so many Republicans in the closet, their symbol shouldn’t be an elephant; it should be a moth.

New Rule: If one of your news organization’s headlines is about who got kicked off Dancing with the Stars last night, you’re no longer a news organization. Sort of like if you were on Dancing with the Stars last night, you’re no longer a star.

Media, celebrity, Democrats, Republicans, religion, children, marine life, electronics, that couple making out in the next booth—when it comes to lighting up his targets, Bill Maher is an equal-opportunity destroyer. The New New Rules offers Maher’s new and best-loved observations about the world around us, along with some modest tips for its improvement. Because wouldn’t life be a little better if the inside of the office microwave didn’t look like a Jackson Pollock painting, or if fathers stopped signing up their nine-year-olds to win free hunting trips? 

Scathingly funny and relentlessly unafraid of sensitive topics, Maher’s hilarious brand of realism is more welcome and necessary than ever. So sit back, read on, and enjoy. You may not agree with all his views, but one thing’s for certain: If you’re listening, you’re laughing.

Download and start listening now!

BK_PENG_001806

Quotes & Awards

  • “One of the establishment’s most entertaining critics.”

    New York Times

  • “Pundit Bill Maher courts controversy you say? He calls it telling the truth.”

    Entertainment Weekly

  • “This was everything I wanted in a book, especially from someone who is determined to be politically incorrect.”

    Chicago Tribune

  • “His satire can be surprisingly humane, though he never misses the opportunity to pun, which makes every entry capable of surprise. The fearless and honest Maher remains the best cultural critic since George Carlin, and his most recent effort is as hilarious as it is precise.”

    Publishers Weekly

  • “Funny stuff for TV viewers with short attention spans.”

    Kirkus Reviews

  • A New York Times Bestseller
  • A Publishers Weekly Bestseller

Listener Opinions

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Linda Wickes | 2/20/2014

    " This is a funny,quick read. I recommend especially if you like his show. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Camille Smith | 2/19/2014

    " This book was first, let me say, very funny. It was a sort of amalgamation of a few of the "New Rules" segments from his previously aired episodes along with a few new ones. I watch the show so I've seen many of them and while they are still just as funny, I would suggest to someone who watches his show to bypass picking up this book. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Richard Thornley | 2/11/2014

    " Laugh out loud funny - but since Bill is a vaccine denialist - you don't have to believe everything he says is true. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 George | 1/22/2014

    " If George Carlin and Lenny Bruce had a child, that child would be Bill Maher. A truly wonderfully irreverent tour of the American (and World) landscape. Maher is a national treasure, who pulls no punches in addressing the hypocrisy of the modern political and religious landscape. I can't recommend this book strongly enough! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Barbara Hanley | 1/8/2014

    " Hilarious and witty, as usual! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Lara | 12/18/2013

    " I took one star off cause Bill Maher is a misogynist, but not in a funny way. Everything else, though, is spot on. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Robert | 12/11/2013

    " Not really a book, just a series of jokes and monologues from his show. It's entertaining, though. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Jenn | 11/18/2013

    " Very funny. I'm giving it one extra star for my dad, who loved it so much he gave it to me and wanted to discuss it. Highly unusual! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Solentiname | 10/30/2013

    " I thought it would be way funnier. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Katherine | 10/29/2013

    " Funnier when watching them on the show. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Anita Dawson | 9/2/2013

    " What's not to like about Bill Maher? "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Jay | 8/12/2013

    " I really enjoy Bill Maher! His humor and wit are right on point and he manages to call B.S. on everyone equally. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Dianne Landry | 7/27/2013

    " I chuckled a couple of times but not nearly enough to make me give this book a thumbs up. I enjoy Bill Maher live but in writing I was disappointed. These aren't really rules they are just a collection of things Bill has a problem with. It was a waste of my time. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Arlene | 3/30/2013

    " Fast read. Just as funny and entertaining as his show. Even has pictures!! "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 J. Walker | 9/24/2012

    " Maher's blistering wit not only translates poorly outside of his show, but quickly becomes tiresome. This is a book best enjoyed in tiny chunks. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Barbara Post | 8/3/2012

    " Very amusing. I have seen most of these on the show, though. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Kat | 7/27/2012

    " One of the funniest books I've read in a long time. I laugh loud almost every other page- he's a genius with articulating the madness in politics, our government and media. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Martin | 7/25/2012

    " Seems like a simple collection of clips and quips from his great HBO tv show. Better on TV than in the book format. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Deb Holden | 7/1/2012

    " I guess there can be too many new rules at one sitting. I enjoyed his first book. THis one is much of the same except it just didn't seem as enjoyable as the first one. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Karen | 3/19/2012

    " He is who he is and doesn't apologize, and he's funny! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Stefania | 2/21/2012

    " Pretty much everything you see on his show but since I dont have HBO anymore I missed a lot of these. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Catherine | 12/20/2011

    " 4-1/2 stars - good fun....made a lot of sense and I laughed all the way to the end :D "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Sarah Wilson | 12/9/2011

    " While I found the majority of his rules hysterically funny, there is only so much of Bill Maher's cynical nature I can take before I get tired and put the book away. Took me a LONG time to finish because of this. If you are looking for something to laugh at in small doses, definitely read. "

Write a Review
What is FlexPass?
  • Your first audiobook is just $5.95
  • Over 90% are at or below $12.95
  • "LOVE IT" guarantee
  • No time limits or expirations
About the Author
Author Bill Maher

Bill Maher built his reputation of biting humor and social commentary in stand-up comedy before entering the late-night television arena as the host of Politically Incorrect, a raucous celebrity forum that originated on Comedy Central. He has created many comedy specials, garnering numerous Emmy nominations. Expanding into other media, he has hosted HBO’s Real Time, produced a highly successful documentary, and authored several books about his experience and political views.