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The Dance of Intimacy (Abridged): A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships Audiobook
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(3.01) - 2,842 listener ratings
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The Dance of Intimacy takes a careful look at relationships where intimacy is most challenged by too much emotional distance, too much intensity, or simply too much pain. In clear, direct and dramatic terms, Dr. Lerner illustrates how we can move differently in these relationships -- be they with a distant or unfaithful spouse, a depressed sister, a difficult mother, an alcoholic father, an uncommitted lover, a dying parent, or an estranged family member.And she teaches us about ""the differences that make a difference"" -- the changes we can make in one or two significant relationships that will affect our capacity for intimacy and selfhood for a lifetime.
The Dance of Intimacy offers no ""quick fix"" for the human dilemma that we all confront. Instead, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, respectful, and helpful insights on intimate relationships that both men and women may ever encounter. Picking up where the best-selling The Dance of Anger left off, Dr. Lerner redefines the meaning of intimacy for today, and shows how good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones healed.
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"I read this after The Dance of Anger and I liked it just as much. It helped me to understand that conflicts are best resolved when I first look at my part in the relationship dynamic. This book helped me to gain a sense of independence and autonomy in my twenties that continues today. It also helped me to walk away from damaging partnerships. I find Harriet Lerner's books very helpful. She provides accessible therapeutic interventions for any reader."
— Elyssa (4 out of 5 stars)
Quotes
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“Subtle and literate, The Dance of Intimacy is like a long, revealing conversation with a wise and compassionate friend.”
— Maggie Scarf, bestselling author of Unfinished Business -
“Dr. Lerner has a truly remarkable ability to analyze our problems with intimacy. She has written a hopeful, respectful, and transforming book.”
— Carol C. Nadelson, MD, former president of the American Psychiatric Association
The Dance of Intimacy Listener Reviews
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" This book was recommended to me by my therapist, and I am so pleased that I read it. It has helped immensely with understanding relationship patterns, and the difference between intensity and intimacy. I learned so much from this book, and would recommend it to anybody who sometimes finds themselves baffled by the process of negotiating close relationships, or who has been experiencing relationship difficulties with a particular person/people. "
— Eve, 2/13/2014 -
" Love the stories. I have first family trouble and the info is very helpful. I listened to the abridged version. I will probably read the full book too. "
— Janele, 2/13/2014 -
" A book on tape that I own and listen to when working in my studio. "
— Janine, 2/10/2014 -
" Lots of good insight "
— Merideth, 2/9/2014 -
" I love this book, but then again I am a self help junkie. I love it and refer to it way too much! "
— Anne, 1/27/2014 -
" I read this book during a trying time and it completely changed my life. "
— Whitney, 1/25/2014 -
" i thought this was an excellent book. although classified as a psychology/self-help book, this book was not as "preachy" as other self-help books tend to be. the underlying concept of anxiety is a concept that makes sense and something i have thought of and accurately identified previously. i would suggest this book to anyone having difficulty connecting with people, either through friendships, romantic endeavors, or family matters. "
— Gia, 1/20/2014 -
" Along with Dance of Anger, the best book for understanding how relationship problems are mutually created and perpetuated. Brilliantly written. "
— Lia, 1/17/2014 -
" This contains much insight on the importance of our closest past relationships on those we are part of now, as well as the influence of our levels of anxiety and reactions on those relationships. Good stuff. "
— M, 12/29/2013 -
" Good examination of unspoken anger and enmeshment that many women and their families suffer. "
— Patti, 12/22/2013 -
" Read this in conjunction with The Dance of Anger. "
— Marsha, 11/26/2013 -
" Continues on the theme of self-hood and change from her earlier book Dance of Anger. Focuses broad-generational patterns. "
— Izlinda, 10/31/2013 -
" I liked this one better than the Dance of Anger. It's another quick easy read. It gave me some good ideas on how to deal with relationships during a very stressful time in my life. My copy is dog earred and underlined and full of my notes....the sure sign of a good book. "
— Kecia, 10/26/2013 -
" I learned a lot from this book and could relate to a lot of the problems brought up. I feel like I have a better understanding how I can deal with certain interpersonal problems. "
— Bridgett, 8/10/2013 -
" Despite my aversion to the self-help aisle, I read this on recommendation and it absolutely changed my way of thinking about my family relationships as well as my relationships with friends and significant others. Highly recommend! "
— Whitney, 5/22/2013 -
" thanks mum... "
— P, 4/15/2013 -
" This book seemed to me that I was reading basic, common sense stuff that I felt like I knew all along, but just wasn't acknowledging! Very well written and easy to read. There are a lot of examples of how relationships can become dysfunctional and how to address them. "
— Aerin, 4/14/2013 -
" I love dancing and reading this just sooths me ;-) "
— Tanice, 3/20/2013 -
" Interesting theory of how relationships work, but not that well organized or practical. Clearly a follow-up on the momentum of her more well-known The Dance of Anger, which I plan to read as well for comparison. "
— Lindsey, 2/11/2013 -
" A wee bit dated and a tad redundant if you've read her previous best seller The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships. "
— Robin, 8/23/2012 -
" Well, I sort-of read it. As in, I read a few chapters and then never finished. I'm not really good at finishing self-help/self-discovery books, or parenting books, or reference books, or even some of the berenstain bears series while I'm confessing... "
— Celeste, 8/19/2012 -
" This was an interesting book - there were various concepts in this I rated. I found the style a little difficult to read though. "
— Marie, 8/15/2012 -
" This book was almost more of a "here's when you should enter therapy" than anything else. "
— Tisha, 5/27/2012 -
" AWESOME!!! I think that if I didn't know when the book was written, I'd think she went into my journal and took out pages!!! "
— Michelle, 5/12/2011 -
" This book gives perspective on "roles" one might be stuck in in close relationships, why it happens, and what to do to start to change things; the goal being better relationships and better self awareness. Really liked it and would highly recommend it. "
— Athos, 1/30/2011 -
" This book is about how we connect with others, not about the sexual dance of intimacy. I found it very helpful to me and have recommended it several friends. Although I don't agree with everything in this book, overall I think it is a helpful book. "
— Tina, 11/16/2010 -
" This was an interesting book - there were various concepts in this I rated. I found the style a little difficult to read though. "
— Marie, 9/15/2010 -
" This book seemed to me that I was reading basic, common sense stuff that I felt like I knew all along, but just wasn't acknowledging! Very well written and easy to read. There are a lot of examples of how relationships can become dysfunctional and how to address them. "
— Aerin, 3/3/2010 -
" Despite my aversion to the self-help aisle, I read this on recommendation and it absolutely changed my way of thinking about my family relationships as well as my relationships with friends and significant others. Highly recommend! "
— Whitney, 2/17/2010 -
" A must-read (or listen) as I have it as an audio book...so true for women everywhere... "
— Paulette, 1/25/2010 -
" I read this book during a trying time and it completely changed my life. "
— Whitney, 9/30/2009 -
" This is a must read for anyone on how to deal with anxiety in relationships. Lerner is straight forward and challenges you as the reader to improve all of your relationships and strengthen your sense of self. "
— Ramani, 9/15/2009 -
" Yes, your relationships in your family of origin will come back to haunt you always..... "
— Robin, 8/11/2009
About Harriet Lerner
Harriet Lerner, PhD, is one of the nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is also the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books and coauthor with her sister of an award-winning children’s book.