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Download The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate Audiobook, by Harriet Lerner Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (354 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Harriet Lerner Narrator: Harriet Lerner Publisher: HarperCollins Format: Abridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date: July 2005 ISBN: 9780060853044
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In this profound new audio, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger teaches us how to “find our voice” with the people who matter the most. With wit and wisdom, Harriet Lerner shows us how to “set things right” and heal the most painful disconnections, tackling the most difficult problems we face with the people who hurt us.

Whether you’re dealing with a partner, a parent, or best friend, Lerner shows us how to speak with honor and personal integrity even when the other person behaves badly. This is a heartfelt audio full of useful anecdotes and wisdom that will change the way you feel about yourself and dramatically enhance all of your important relationships. Our capacity for creativity, wisdom, and joy depends on connecting well with the key people in our lives. Lerner teaches us how to navigate our most difficult relationships with integrity, courage, and joyous conviction.

Download and start listening now!

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Quotes & Awards

  • “Lerner does a remarkable job teaching us new steps in the complicated, mysterious, painful, and beautiful dance that we call family life.”

    Mary Pipher, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Reviving Ophelia

  • The Dance of Connection can save your marriage, a friendship, and your relationship with your mother, father, sister, brother—even your boss. Lerner is one of the wisest, most sophisticated psychology writers alive today. Her book is brimming with practical advice, sharp wit, extraordinary knowledge, deep caring, and a wealth of ah-yes-how-true wisdom into human nature. Lerner knows us all so well.”

    Edward M. Hallowell, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Driven to Distraction

  • “Lerner shares her private family-of-origin stories which gives the book a vulnerability and humanness that other self-help titles lack.”

    Library Journal

  • “Lerner rescues us from the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships with her unique clarity and profound intelligence.”

    Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD, author of After the Affair

Listener Opinions

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Lia | 2/7/2014

    " Not as good as her other books. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Nancy | 2/3/2014

    " a friend recommended this author, as she was sorting through some relationship issues. I liked this one best of the several Harriet Lerner books my library had. It's simple, honest, and helpful with lots of plausible examples of difficult communication in relationships(family, romantic, friends). Lots of food for thought and practical advice. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Dottie | 1/16/2014

    " Sparked perhaps by an underlying connection to an older book which has held a place in my personal library for many years, I picked this up and am finding it refreshing that there is no follow this plan and this happens or that happens -- again, an echo of the earlier book. None of the usual self-help "magic" solution style -- just informational and thought provoking. We shall see if it holds up to the end. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Sabina Simons | 1/8/2014

    " It was an interesting book on communication effectively. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Nancy | 12/30/2013

    " It seems as if we are seeing a maturing Harriet Learner. Her earlier books seemed to be focused on women's anger and their frustrations over intimacy. In this one, I think she is ready to bridge the gap. I guess we all had to process all the garbage first. Now we are moving on. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Patricia Terry | 12/11/2013

    " Another insightful read. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Lisa | 11/1/2013

    " A few things from Dance of Anger were repeated in this book, but there was a lot of valuable information on how to communicate effectively. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Marianne Kelly | 10/10/2013

    " I am learning so much and love Dr Lerner's writing style. Very relatable. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Diana | 9/21/2013

    " I listened to this audio book 3 times last week. Excellent principles to guide me as I try to maintain my connection to my estranged daughter. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Winona | 8/26/2013

    " Such an insightful book on a topic that does not come naturally to many! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Marie | 4/25/2013

    " I really like this "Dance" series. Like the "Dance of Anger" and the "Dance of Intimacy" this one is thorough and clear. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Rebekah | 3/22/2013

    " I love the way Lerner rights, and this book is worth having in your personal self-help collection. This is the second time I've read this specific book, and the fourth of her books in all. Great reads for anyone struggling to find their voice, or wishing to learn how to communicate. Great for women. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 C | 1/31/2013

    " This book is less "script" and more "insight" into human character, which I enjoy. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Justine | 11/2/2012

    " This is a must read -- if only we all learned how to communicate! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Sherri Issa | 8/20/2012

    " Insightful, with practical ways to rebuild love and connection with those who matter most.. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Danielle | 7/29/2012

    " I'm reading this one slowly.. there's some good in here, but it's not as earth-shattering as some of Harriet Lerner's other books. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Bxrlover | 6/12/2012

    " Excellent, if daunting, advice written in plain language. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 John | 3/29/2012

    " This was an extraordinary book. Harriet speaks about how our words affect others. Making the connection to other, even those we love takes patience, perseverance and a great deal of self-awareness. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Jay Ehret | 2/20/2012

    " Will help you find your personal voice and communicate more effectively without hurting the other person. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Maria | 11/19/2011

    " Awesome book on authencity and having a voice "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Jennifer | 9/1/2011

    " This book is about improving communication within difficult relationships - especially family members. For me, it was easy to read because it has lots of personal stories and examples. The concepts make sense, there are some good ideas - but it's not touted as a "cure-all". "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Mckinley | 3/11/2011

    " Read and also listened to it. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Mckinley | 2/7/2011

    " Read and also listened to it. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 John | 1/11/2011

    " This was an extraordinary book. Harriet speaks about how our words affect others. Making the connection to other, even those we love takes patience, perseverance and a great deal of self-awareness. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Joy H. | 11/17/2009

    " Read bit by bit between Dec. 2009 and Feb. 2010.
    Some good advice. Must finish sometime.
    Had to return to library; ran out of renewal options. :) "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Maria | 7/9/2009

    " Awesome book on authencity and having a voice "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Jennifer | 11/24/2008

    " This book is about improving communication within difficult relationships - especially family members. For me, it was easy to read because it has lots of personal stories and examples. The concepts make sense, there are some good ideas - but it's not touted as a "cure-all". "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Diana | 11/17/2008

    " I listened to this audio book 3 times last week. Excellent principles to guide me as I try to maintain my connection to my estranged daughter. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Justine | 4/3/2008

    " This is a must read -- if only we all learned how to communicate! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Danielle | 3/4/2008

    " I'm reading this one slowly.. there's some good in here, but it's not as earth-shattering as some of Harriet Lerner's other books. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Marie | 7/11/2007

    " I really like this "Dance" series. Like the "Dance of Anger" and the "Dance of Intimacy" this one is thorough and clear. "

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About the Author
Author Harriet Lerner

Harriet Lerner, PhD, is one of the nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is also the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books and coauthor with her sister of an award-winning children’s book.