There’s no such thing as a bad kid. That’s what a lifetime of experience has taught Dr. Stuart Shanker. No matter how difficult, out of control, distracted, or exhausted a child might seem, there’s a way forward: self-regulation. Overturning decades of conventional wisdom, this radical new technique allows children and the adults who care for them to regain their composure and peace of mind. Self-Reg is a groundbreaking book that presents an entirely new understanding of your child’s emotions and behavior and a practical guide for parents to help their kids engage calmly and successfully in learning and life. Grounded in decades of research and working with children and parents by Dr. Shanker, Self-Reg realigns the power of the parent-child relationship for positive change. Self-regulation is the nervous system’s way of responding to stress. We are seeing a generation of children and teens with excessively high levels of stress, and, as a result, an explosion of emotional, social, learning, behavior, and physical health problems. But few parents recognize the “hidden stressors” that their children are struggling with: physiological as well as social and emotional. An entrenched view of child rearing sees our children as lacking self-control or willpower, but the real basis for these problems lies in excessive stress. Self-regulation can dramatically improve a child’s mood, attention, and concentration. It can help children to feel empathy, and to cultivate the sorts of virtues that most parents know are vital for their child’s long-term wellbeing. Self-regulation brings about profound and lasting transformation that continues throughout life. Dr. Shanker translates decades of his findings from working with children into practical, prescriptive advice for parents, giving them concrete ways to develop their self-regulation skills and teach their children to do the same and engage successfully with life for optimal learning, social, and emotional growth.
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“Our digital age is stressful, frantic, and overstimulating. Raising a child today requires an understanding of self-regulation. Self-Reg is a wonderful guide for parents, a way to understand the hidden stressors facing children, and their neurological, psychological, social, and emotional effects. Dr. Shanker helps parents not just to understand the meaning of their child’s behavior with compassion, but, just as essentially, how to calm themselves in order to better guide their children toward more positively engaged living.”
— Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD, author of The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age
“Brilliant. In this illuminating and accessible breakthrough book, Stuart Shanker makes a powerful case for understanding children’s behavior and misbehavior using the lens of self-regulation. I will never see children in the same way. I recommend Self-Reg to any parent, educator, or mental health professional who wants to understand children at the deepest levels, and who wants a practical technique for helping a stressed-out child feel safe and engaged.”
— Michael Thompson, PhD, New York Times bestselling author“Capping a lifetime of studying and thinking about children’s emotions and behavior, the brilliant Stuart Shanker presents us with this stupendous gift, a true tour de force, in which he dismantles and elegantly reassembles—so that the layperson can understand—one of the most complicated mechanisms of the mind: self-regulation. Parents, rejoice! Read this book and you will be able to teach your children (and yourselves!) the practical, immensely valuable, and enormously satisfying skills of self-regulation.”
— Edward Hallowell, MD, author of Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit DisorderDr. Stuart Shanker is a distinguished research professor of psychology and philosophy at York University and the founder and CEO of the MEHRIT Centre. He is also a former president of the Council of Early Child Development. His expertise has been sought after internationally, and he has been an advisor on early child development to government organizations across Canada and the United States.
Robert Fass is a veteran actor and twice winner of the prestigious Audie Award for best narration. He has earned multiple Earphones Awards and been named in AudioFile magazine’s list of the year’s best narrations for six years.