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Download I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry’s Amazing Tales of Adulthood Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample Ill Mature When Im Dead: Dave Barry’s Amazing Tales of Adulthood Audiobook, by Dave Barry Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (1,067 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Dave Barry Narrator: Dave Barry Publisher: Penguin Random House Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date: May 2010 ISBN: 9781101154908
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A brilliantly funny exploration of the treacherous state of adulthood by the Pulitzer Prize–winning humorist.


Some people may wonder what this subject has to do with Dave Barry, since Dave’s struggled hard against growing up his entire life—but the result is one of the funniest, warmest, most pitch-perfect books ever on that mystifying territory we call “adulthood.” In hilarious, brand-new pieces, Dave tackles everything from fatherhood, new fatherhood (Over the next five years, you will spend roughly forty-five minutes, total, listening to songs you like, and roughly 127,000 hours to songs exploring topics such as how the horn on the bus goes*), self-image, the battle of the sexes, celebrityhood, technology, parenting styles, certain unmentionable medical procedures (There is absolutely no reason to be afraid of a vasectomy, except that: THEY CUT A HOLE IN YOUR SCROTUM.), and much more. It is a book of pure delight from the man one newspaper claimed “could become the most important American humorist since Mark Twain” (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)…though, frankly, we think they were indulging in some adult beverages at the time.    

*It goes: “Beep! Beep! Beep!”

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Quotes & Awards

  • Despite years of medication, Dave Barry is still the funniest damn writer in the whole country. Let's hope he never grows up. Carl Hiaasen
  • Dave Barry's best book so far, which is saying a lot. P.J. O'Rourke

Listener Opinions

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Sarah | 2/17/2014

    " I'm not a fan of sexism (not even against men), but it was hilarious otherwise. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Nora | 2/16/2014

    " These essays and light and fun. I enjoy Dave Barry every so often. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Kris Marasca | 2/6/2014

    " Laugh out loud funny, especially his chapter parodying the Twilight series. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Justin Hill | 2/2/2014

    " If your a fan of Dave Barry what-so-ever you will definitely love his newest collection of essays. I was enthralled and amused for several hours, most of which were spent with my head back laughing. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Jeanette | 1/22/2014

    " Dave Barry is a self-proclaimed dork, but he's OUR dork, and we love him. I got plenty of smirks, chuckles, and guffaws from this book, along with some more serious, reflective moments. Eighteen pieces on everything from dance recitals to colonoscopies. I enjoyed every one except "24: The Ultimate Script," which is not even remotely entertaining. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Daftwullie | 1/15/2014

    " Some kind of dumb guy stuff, some very funny stuff. It's worth it for the short version of New Moon. A very funny rendition. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Doug | 1/15/2014

    " Dave Barry is still the funniest non-depressing writer I know. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Britt, Book Habitue | 1/12/2014

    " I love reading Dave Barry! This one is hilarious! I was in tears from laughing so hard! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Brenda Metelka | 1/7/2014

    " I usually like my comedy a bit edgier, but this book did have some laugh out loud moments. It is about what is to be expected from a newspaper writer. Funny, but safe. I could have done without the "24" and "Twilight" spoofs; they got redundant very fast. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Amy | 1/3/2014

    " Not amazing but a few good laughs. I love his Christmas column every year and this wasn't up to those standards but an enjoyable read nonetheless. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Michelle | 1/2/2014

    " Amusing...used to *love* Dave Barry in high school. Fun to read but not outrageously funny. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Karlee Stone | 11/30/2013

    " hilarious! i read this out loud to my husband while we were on a road trip this summer and we were both laughing out loud from his stories and descriptions of male and female behaviors and differences and also some just plain random absurdities. funny guy! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Lorna | 11/24/2013

    " Worth it for the Twilight parody alone! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Tina Deboeser | 11/14/2013

    " Great book to listen to in the car, a pretty entertaining four hours. Thank you Dave. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Kristin | 10/17/2013

    " Good grief - I read the first part of this because Joe put it on my Kindle. Probably for middle-aged men only. Ridiculous and immature :) "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Lapillus | 9/5/2013

    " Hilarious, and all new stuff (except for one chapter), not just recycled from his columns. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Martha | 8/26/2013

    " Fun for mature readers if you enjoy his type of sarcastic humor. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Amy | 5/12/2013

    " You just can't read Dave Barry in public because you laugh so hard that people start to stare... "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Chris | 1/27/2013

    " Sharks on Miami public transit. Better believe it. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Ray Charbonneau | 12/26/2012

    " DaveBeingDave. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Katy | 10/18/2012

    " The Twilight parody was particularly inspired "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Neelam | 10/16/2012

    " I thought he was going to be like David Sedaris...WRONG! It's stream of consciousness w/potty humor. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 MDNewbie | 6/1/2012

    " Dave is one of the funniest men I don't know. The weakest sections were the Twilight and the tv show 24 spoofs. The funniest parts were the Dance Recital chapter and his take on being a minor celebrity. Even the colonoscopy chapter was a hoot! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 David | 1/12/2012

    " Dave Barry at his best. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Sheryl | 12/13/2011

    " This audiobook was a lot of fun to listen to. Some of his essays had me laughing so hard I could barely breathe and I had tears pouring from my eyes. Other essays just had be chuckling. But altogether it was an enjoyable 4-1/2 hours of listening. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Valerie | 10/16/2011

    " The dance recital, the soccer game, and the Twilight spoof. I laughed so hard my son had to leave the room. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Michelle | 9/21/2011

    " Laughed my head off!!! Seriously funny "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Katiekins | 8/11/2011

    " Not his best, but still funny. His parody of Twilight is HILARIOUS: "I knew I had to put myself in grave plot peril for no coherent reason." "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Amanda | 6/6/2011

    " I thought the essays were pretty funny. Honestly, though, I thought the very funniest one was the one that had been previously published elsewhere. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Haris | 5/5/2011

    " Classic Barry. The pieces are longer than his weekly columns, which adds a little layer of depth. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Terri | 4/30/2011

    " I *love* Dave Barry's humor, his outlook on life and definitely his writing style. When I read this book, it was like we were sitting together and he was talking to me.
    I definitely recommend this book when you need a lift...worked for me! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Daftwullie | 4/23/2011

    " Some kind of dumb guy stuff, some very funny stuff. It's worth it for the short version of New Moon. A very funny rendition. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Patti | 4/7/2011

    " Hilarious. I listened to it in the car, read by him, and I was cracking up. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Nora | 4/3/2011

    " These essays and light and fun. I enjoy Dave Barry every so often. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Heather | 3/22/2011

    " Dave Barry is one of the funniest writers alive, and this book made me really miss his regular Miami Herald columns. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Deb | 3/3/2011

    " Dave Barry is hilarious!
    read the part about men and their inability to read the instructions before putting things together - it's right on! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Jeanne | 2/22/2011

    " i listened to audio version and liked the first three cds a lot. very funny. he lost me on the last cd when he did a loooong 'twilight' story.
    but the first three disks made me laugh out loud. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Danielle | 2/1/2011

    " a little to immature for my tastes -- have moved on to another book but may return to it. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Jen | 1/28/2011

    " Dave Barry is the perfect answer to a sometimes shallow, sometimes brain-dead, always ADD adult. "

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About the Author
Author Dave Barry

Dave Barry’s bestsellers include his Peter Pan prequels, written with Ridley Pearson; I’ll Mature When I’m Dead; and Lunatics, written with Alan Zweibel. He is also the author of the two dark comic suspense novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business. A play based on his first Peter Pan book, Peter and the Starcatchers, is currently a hit on Broadway. He lives in Coral Gables, Florida.