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Download Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch, by Jim Norton Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (513 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Jim Norton, Jim Norton Narrator: Jim Norton, Jim Norton Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio Format: Abridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date:
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Best heard on an empty stomach

Jim Norton is a pervert in the truest sense of the word. The physical equivalent of a tall slug, he pays top dollar for massages with happy endings, and is fascinated by shitty sitcoms and fat girls. He is also, at times, racially offensive and morally repugnant. He spares no one in his comedy—least of all himself.

Now, in this outrageous, blisteringly funny collection of essays, Norton tackles the topics that are near and dear to his heart: From public events like the legendary Voyeur Bus incident on the Opie and Anthony Show, which culminated in all involved being taken to jail, or seeking a hug from his childhood idol Gene Simmons, to deeply private moments, including a teenage Jim’s embarrassing poetry writing attempts while in rehab, his inexpensive sexual experience with an unwashed MILF (Monolith I’d Like to Forget), and being caught masturbating in the backseat while his friend was driving. His stories are raw, searingly honest in their attention to detail, and most of all, hilarious.

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Quotes & Awards

  • A New York Times Bestseller

Listener Opinions

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 by Alen | 2/13/2014

    " disturbing and funny, don't take shelter when it rains. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 by Cory Fosco | 2/13/2014

    " Crazy life of comedian Jim Norton...not for the weak stomach. Norton is much more entertaining on the radio and on the stage. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 by Jessica | 2/12/2014

    " I literally laughed out loud multiple times. Too freakin funny!! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 by Jim | 2/6/2014

    " Not for the easily offended! If you like 'lil Jimmy Norton (or O&A), you will want to pick up this book. Disgusting, crude, and highly innappropriate, but very funny! Norton spills his guts in this tell-all book about his life, and career. Number 4 on the NY Best Sellers list (how did that happen?!) Do not let your grandma read this book. "

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