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Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch Audiobook
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(3.07) - 552 listener ratings
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Publisher Description
Jim Norton is a pervert
in the truest sense of the word. The physical equivalent of a tall slug, he pays top dollar for massages with happy endings and is fascinated by shitty sitcoms and fat girls. He is also, at times, racially offensive and morally repugnant. He spares no one in his comedy -- least of all himself.
Now, in this outrageous, blisteringly funny collection of essays, Norton tackles the topics that are near and dear to his heart: from public events like the legendary Voyeur Bus incident on the Opie and Anthony Show, which culminated in all involved being taken to jail, or seeking a hug from his childhood idol Gene Simmons, to deeply private moments, including a teenage Jim's embarrassing poetry-writing attempts while in rehab, and his inexpensive sexual experience with an unwashed MILF (a Monolith I'd Like to Forget). His stories are raw, searingly honest in their attention to detail, and most of all, hilarious.
Filled with personal photos and nearly fifty candid and uncompromising essays, Happy Endings is one of a kind...and probably best read on an empty stomach.
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"From the day I first heard Jim Norton's sophomoric, filthy, offensive comedy styling, I was a huge fan. I jumped at the opportunity to learn more about him when I saw his book on a Barnes and Noble shelf. Whenever I think it'd be impossible for him to get more 'real', I am proven very wrong. He tells some stories any lesser man would be too embarrassed to ever tell another living soul. There is a lot to be learned about Jim from this yarn."
— Jake (4 out of 5 stars)
Awards
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A New York Times bestseller
Happy Endings Listener Reviews
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" Crazy life of comedian Jim Norton...not for the weak stomach. Norton is much more entertaining on the radio and on the stage. "
— Cory, 2/13/2014 -
" disturbing and funny, don't take shelter when it rains. "
— Alen, 2/13/2014 -
" I literally laughed out loud multiple times. Too freakin funny!! "
— Jessica, 2/12/2014 -
" Not for the easily offended! If you like 'lil Jimmy Norton (or O&A), you will want to pick up this book. Disgusting, crude, and highly innappropriate, but very funny! Norton spills his guts in this tell-all book about his life, and career. Number 4 on the NY Best Sellers list (how did that happen?!) Do not let your grandma read this book. "
— Jim, 2/6/2014 -
" Jim Norton is hilarious!!! if you like really dirty jokes this is a good book to read. jim gets into the stories of his favorite past times with hookers. even tells about his stint in rehab when he was 18. very interesting read. "
— Sarah, 2/2/2014 -
" This book was good but VERY distubing humor...if you are sensitive do NOT read this!! "
— Stephanie, 1/29/2014 -
" Gross. But entertaining. Mostly gross. "
— Wickedcomedy, 1/22/2014 -
" I just love Jimmy! My favorite story(s) are the letters to & from ex-girlfriends... totally douche-chill inducing since I was either the author or receiver of letters like those when I was in high school. "
— Lysia, 1/22/2014 -
" I loved this book even with it's many references to peeing on people "
— Elizabeth, 1/18/2014 -
" I haven't decided if this is a three star or a four star book. It's definitely readable but would probably disgust and shock most decent people into tossing it aside. It's what keeps me turning the pages :) "
— Kelly, 12/2/2013 -
" I admit, reading this was not quite as fun as listening to or seeing Jim, but still the stories have his unique voice and are hysterical and/or gag inducing. A must read for fans of lil Jimmy/O&A. "
— Shannon, 12/2/2013 -
" anyone who've listend to O&A will love this book. Outsiders may not get a lot of his references or friends. "
— Jlewis, 11/24/2013 -
" One of the funniest books I have ever read. Unluckily, after I finished it a friend 'borrowed' it and I haven't seen it in 4 years. If you can't enjoy some good tales about full body massages given at Asian 'massage' parlors then what can you enjoy? "
— Russ, 11/8/2013 -
" Not as funny as I Hate Your Guts. This is more along the lines of gross-out humor. Recommend this? Nah, don't think so. I Hate Your Guts, on the other hand... CLASSIC! "
— Desiree, 11/1/2013 -
" I only know the Jim Norton because he is on the Opie and Anthony radio show. I've never seen or heard a single show by him. That said, this book makes me laugh until I cry. It's very crass, it's very vulgar, and it's very genuine. "
— Nathan, 10/27/2013 -
" Best book ever written by a man riddled with AIDs. It made me laugh so hard I spilled my broth all over my good bathrobe. "
— Ross, 6/22/2013 -
" Jim Norton is a funny creep. He's also very intelligent. I like his candid style. SOme of his stories will make you squirm with discomfort, but there are enough solid laughs to overcome that minor issue. "
— Stacy, 6/20/2013 -
" This book is not for the faint of heart, but if you're a Jimmy Norton fan, it's sure to entertain. "
— Jessica, 6/15/2013 -
" I loved it... very raunchy. If you don't like raunchy and perverted funny stories, than you won't like this book, otherwise, i'd highly recommend! "
— Kelli, 4/24/2013 -
" Not sure why I bought this nor why I continued reading it. It was crap, but I guess I was enthralled by the prostitute obsession so freely discussed. "
— Heather, 12/16/2012 -
" ok.... if you think its funny when old ladies trip and fall at Walmart(I personally DO) you will LOVE this book! This is pure RAW comedy! "
— Steve, 9/10/2012 -
" True rating would be 3.5. I didn't think it was great but I more than just liked it. Very raunchy. I couldn't tell if he was kidding or not with some of his stories. (ummmm, Monster Rain???) I thought it was funny but then I felt wrong for laughing because what if it was true??? "
— Noelle, 8/29/2012 -
" JIm Norton is a genius "
— Brian, 7/30/2012 -
" Really funny, pornographic musings. "
— Scott, 1/16/2012 -
" I love Jimmy, but I feel like I know so much about him because I listen to him on the radio every morning, that I didn't find the bookt hat informative or interesting. "
— Kenny, 1/1/2012 -
" Very funny book; its a bunch of stories by a comedian from the opie and anthony show. He's also friends with Artie Lange from the Howard Stern show. His humor is not for everyone but i have always loved the guy. I learned that its okay to like logs being dropped on your chest. "
— Marco, 7/16/2011 -
" Little Jimmy Norton is one of today's hottest comic. His extreme humor is topped only by the pathetic and embarrassing moments of his childhood, adolescence and adulthood, all outlined in this quick read. I hear he is writing another, will definitely be on the top of my list. "
— Daniel, 5/28/2011 -
" wow... this was a rather depressing yet intimate look into Jim Norton's head.<br/><br/>Funny, but ultimately depressing. "
— Brad, 3/13/2011 -
" I loved this book even with it's many references to peeing on people "
— Elizabeth, 1/23/2011 -
" Anybody who can laugh at their own pathetic existence is okay by me... "
— William, 7/31/2010 -
" If you aren't into potty-humor, why would you read a book that's subtitled "The Tales of Meaty-Breasted Zilch"?? <br/>I tried reading this book in public a few times, but it was pretty humiliating to be laughing/crying in front of people. Jimmy rules! "
— Scarlett, 1/15/2010 -
" True rating would be 3.5. I didn't think it was great but I more than just liked it. Very raunchy. I couldn't tell if he was kidding or not with some of his stories. (ummmm, Monster Rain???) I thought it was funny but then I felt wrong for laughing because what if it was true??? "
— Noelle, 10/18/2009 -
" Best book ever written by a man riddled with AIDs. It made me laugh so hard I spilled my broth all over my good bathrobe. "
— Ross, 5/17/2009 -
" What can I say? It's Norton. If you find stories about overpaying for tranny hookers funny, you've probably already heard about this.<br/><br/>It also made me laugh more that his second one. The second one is funny too, but it reads a little more like an old man's cranky letters. "
— Geoff, 1/17/2009 -
" This is a very funny book if you are a fan of Jim Norton. If you are not a fan of Jim Norton, I suggest you become one. Check out his HBO special "Monster Rain", its hilarious. "
— Mark, 11/22/2008 -
" I listened to this and it was read by the author which was nice. It is DEFINITELY not for those who are offended easily. I, however, thought it was funny. "
— Erin, 11/14/2008 -
" Raunchy, offensive, and truly disgusting and in true Jim Norton style - pretty funny. "
— Erin, 10/28/2008 -
" This book is not for the faint of heart, but if you're a Jimmy Norton fan, it's sure to entertain. "
— Jessica, 9/29/2008
About Jim Norton
Jim Norton is a member of radio program the Opie and Anthony Show and is best known for his extremely raunchy brand of humor. In addition to his humorous books, he has been a regular on several Comedy Central and HBO shows and starred in his own stand-up comedy special. He lives in New York City.