A road map for building strong and secure relationships for those who struggle with anxiety in their romantic connections.
An estimated 47 million Americans identify as having an anxious attachment style, which can make being in relationships turbulent and emotionally taxing for them. According to groundbreaking research in the field of attachment, anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviors that get in the way of finding and sustaining love. In Anxiously Attached, seasoned psychotherapist and couples counselor Jessica Baum guides readers through understanding their attachment style at its core and building the inner strength and self-love that will lead them to more secure and satisfying relationships.
Developed over ten years in private practice, Baum’s signature Self-full® Method has helped her clients get off the toxic roller coaster of anxious attachment and discover the secure and mutually supportive relationships they deserve. In this book readers will learn how to:
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"Jessica Baum’s forthrightness, vulnerability, and clinical sensitivity provide the foundation for a powerful journey of growth for anyone who has experienced a nonsecure form of attachment formally known as ‘ambivalent’ and publicly referred to being ‘anxiously attached.’ The science of relational connections between child and parent, known as attachment research, reveals a preoccupation and revving up of our drive for connection that has the inner experience of learned anxiety and uncertainty. Because of neural plasticity, we can focus our attention to build neural networks that in our childhood did not have the chance to grow how they might have to give us equanimity even in the face of relational challenges. Now you can learn to cultivate the skills of inner soothing provided in this excellent guide—and you’ll discover how to ‘learn’ or ‘earn’ security in this science-backed yet practical set of steps to build the capacities that were not developed in your youth. Welcome to the challenge—and opportunity—to transform your life from the inside out!"
— Daniel J. Siegel, MD, executive director, Mindsight Institute; clinical professor, UCLA School of Medicine; New York Times bestselling author of IntraConnected, Aware, and Mind, and coauthor, Parenting from the Inside Out
For any of us who repeatedly find ourselves in relationships that increase our anxiety, Jessica Baum’s Anxiously Attached is essential. She offers equal portions of science and heart to help us understand why this happens, charts a healing path that will allow us to develop security within, and walks with us step by step as we open to the mutually supportive, ever-deepening relationships that we all desire. A wonderful book for our partners, too!
— Bonnie Badenoch, PhD, LMFT, author of Being a Brain-Wise Therapist and The Heart of TraumaEvery so often a fresh voice jumps off the page and contributes something important to our understanding of relationships. Written in a down-to-earth, easily relatable style, Jessica Baum tells it like it is—and teaches us how to stop losing ourselves in others and come home to ourselves again. For anybody who wants to regain their own self-sovereignty—and discover relationships built upon loving connection—Anxiously Attached distills the most important developments in the science of human connection and makes them easily accessible to us all. Bravo.
— Albert Wong, PhD, professor of psychology, California Institute of Integral StudiesWith Anxiously Attached, Jessica Baum shares relatable, real-life insights into the underlying relationship issues faced by so many in our era of disconnection. Her empowering, actionable tools for becoming ‘self-full’ take the self-love and self-care movements to the next level.
— Ruby Warrington, author of Material Girl, Mystical World and Sober CuriousJessica wholeheartedly puts her full self into everything she does, and this book is a gift to your true self. Self-love is the foundation for a fulfilling and balanced life. Readers, you’re in for a beautiful treat.
— Shannon Kaiser, author of The Self-Love ExperimentIn a world of empty promises and shallow veneers, Jessica Baum has written a book that delivers what it promises. In Anxiously Attached, she takes her readers on a healing journey that enables them to understand why they are plagued by relational insecurities and gives them concrete tools to repair the issues of their past and embrace a future filled with meaningful and rich relationships with themselves and others.
— Dr. Paul L. Hokemeyer, author of Fragile PowerJessica Baum is a modern and energetic author who brings fresh insights and language to learning how to love self and others. Her book contains powerful information and original ways of thinking about self-care. I highly recommend it.
— John Lee, author of The Half-Lived Life and Growing Yourself Back UpJessica’s work is a breath of fresh air. Blending both a clinical and spiritual approach, this book helps us understand the nuances of modern relationships and provides a no-nonsense roadmap for healing our relationships by healing ourselves.
— James McCrae, author of Sh#t Your Ego SaysJessica walks you through a spiritual journey in this book. Anxiously Attached covers complex topics around codependency, and the way she explains them makes these topics easy to understand. Jessica’s work helps you feel supported through all levels of transformation.
— Amy Leigh Mercree, bestselling author of A Little Bit of Goddess and A Little Bit of MindfulnessLearning to attach to others in a healthy way is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Anxiously Attached gives you the tools you need to take that step. Jessica empowers you to grab hold of your inner security, which will transform your most important relationships.
— R. Scott Gornto, PhD, MDiv, LMFT, CST, author of The Stories We Tell Ourselves