"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship." --John Gray, PhD., bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle.
Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:
• Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.Attached guides listeners in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love. *Includes a PDF of the attachment style questionnaire
Download and start listening now!
"I'm a psychologist in private practice and have recommended this book to quite a few clients. Unlike other self-help books which can really be hit or miss in terms of appealing to a wide audience, this one has been deemed excellent by every person I loaned it out to and several went out and got their own copies so they could mark them up with notes. Great distillation of attachment research into useable insights to help the reader understand their own romantic relationships. Why do I keep getting involved with partners who reject me? Oh- I am an anxious type who has been pairing up with avoidants! How can I know if a partner is securely attached? What are the warning signs that a potential partner has attachment issues? Questionnaires and checklists included."
— Sarah (5 out of 5 stars)
" This book is written based on the concept that "knowledge is power". No matter which category of attachment you fall under, it's good to know the stupid things you might do due to your attachment category which will hurt others and yourself and therefore, avoid doing them! "
— Yasi, 2/10/2014" kind of dumb, but also kind of interesting? sped read this. "
— Brittany, 1/27/2014" Incredibly helpful to understand my tendencies with relationships and to find hope in breaking the patterns. "
— Autumn, 1/26/2014" Interesting book with some points to think about. It wasn't amazing and it didn't leave me feeling like I had learned an incredible amount. It did make me want to look at relationships differently though, and for that I give some kudos to the author. I can very hesitantly (and surely somewhat inaccurately) look at and analyze my own relationships and those of my close friends and family, and look for the behavioral cues they point out. This book DID remind me a little of the axiom "to a hammer, everything's a nail". It seemed like these scientists found a very neat tool, and now seek to explain every possible aspect of romantic relationships using that tool. I'm not smart enough to discount anything they said, but it left me feeling like they tried to hard. I also couldn't stand how they tried to explain our relationship styles based on evolution. It seemed a wild logical leap that we either avoid or seek intimate relationships because we evolved that way. "
— Kevin, 1/22/2014" i read this book for coaching work and was so impressed and totally captivated. now i want everyone i know to read it and talk about it with me! do it, do it, pretty pretty please :) "
— bruin, 1/10/2014" Although it seemed simplistic at first, the breakdown of attachment styles into "anxious", "avoidant" and "secure" made sense, backed up by numerous studies. The book offers tips on dealing with the effective and damaging parts of each style, and is an easy read for anyone interested in how people are attracted to one another, how to find the right person, and how to keep a relationship strong. "
— Joanne, 1/7/2014" I wish I had read this 20 years ago. I might have saved myself a lot of grief... maybe. "
— Taryn, 1/5/2014" Great, well-written, clear for the layperson to understand the basics behind attachment theory. Includes easy-to-use tests to examine your attachment style, as well as your partner's attachment style. "
— Janet, 12/30/2013" Interesting look at why people act crazy in relationships. Found it odd that at the beginning of the book they said no attachment style is wrong, but then they really emphasize trying to act like the folks who have a secure attachment style. Overall good message of communicate in your relationships. "
— Darla, 12/24/2013" Holy cr@p. I wonder what my life would have been like had I read this book 10 years ago, or even 5. I'd recommend this book to anyone who wonders why all their relationships seem to self-destruct. And to those relationship all-stars? Read it anyway. It will help you understand the people around you. "
— Gretchen, 12/3/2013" Fascinating book about attachment theory in regards to adult relationships. Highly recommend for anyone with a history of rocky relationships -- or, well, anyone with a history of relationships. "
— Andy, 11/25/2013" B+ for readability as self-help books go, IMO. Would like to listen again and follow the written exercises, which I could not do in the car. "
— Paula, 11/5/2013" Very useful for understanding how people relate to each other - mostly romantically, but also more generally. "
— Amy, 11/1/2013" I wish I had this book earlier in my life. "
— AJ, 1/11/2013" Anyone in a relationship should read this! "
— Lila, 10/3/2012" This book is a life-changer. "
— Jennifer, 7/15/2012" Excellent book. I don't think I've ever read a book where I learned more about myself than this book. "
— Susan, 1/21/2012" Not so ground breaking or even very interesting... "
— Hope, 12/29/2011" Sometimes the Universe gives you a book that you need to read. This one came to me for free on Audible, and I definitely needed to read it. It helped me see some patterns in my relationships, and I'm certain it will be similarly helpful to a lot of people. "
— Celeste, 9/29/2011" i read this book for coaching work and was so impressed and totally captivated. now i want everyone i know to read it and talk about it with me! do it, do it, pretty pretty please :) "
— bruin, 6/29/2011" In the beginning what I was reading was very enlightening and I enjoyed it but after awhile it started turning too repetitive... Good book overall though. I like the case studies. "
— Brittni, 5/29/2011" This book is making me feel like a failure & guilty as if i need more of that. On the other hand, what if this can make me a better person? Just can't stand reading it now though… "
— astried, 4/10/2011" Great reading for all adoptive parents!! Helps put some context around normal attachment behavior. "
— Kimberly, 4/1/2011" An easy read on a sometimes difficult topic. A bit simplistic in its analysis but, what can I say, I'm a simple girl... "
— Rumi, 3/23/2011" Found this book very helpful and true-to-life. "
— Niniane, 3/19/2011" Fascinating and insightful! A must read for both singles and couples. "
— Shira, 2/5/2011" Fascinating so far. Claims there is no such thing as too dependent. Curious. "
— Alena, 1/22/2011
Amir Levine, MD, is an adult, child, and adolescent psychiatrist and neuroscientist. He graduated from the residency program at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia University and is the author of Attached: The New Science of Adult Attatchment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love. He currently lives in New York City and Southampton, New York.
Walter Dixon is a broadcast media veteran of more than twenty years’ experience with a background in theater and performing arts and voice work for commercials. After a career in public radio, he is now a full-time narrator with more than fifty audiobooks recorded in genres ranging from religion and politics to children’s stories.
Robert Petkoff is an actor and audiobook narrator who has won a prestigious Audie Award and multiple AudioFile Earphones Awards and has been named an AudioFile Golden Voice. He has appeared on Chappelle’s Show, Law & Order, and Quantum Leap. His Broadway credits include Sir Robin in Spamalot, Perchik in Fiddler on the Roof, and Tateh in Ragtime.