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Download You Suck: A Love Story Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample You Suck: A Love Story Audiobook, by Christopher Moore Click for printable size audiobook cover
3.00007529836979 out of 53.00007529836979 out of 53.00007529836979 out of 53.00007529836979 out of 53.00007529836979 out of 5 3.00 (26,561 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Christopher Moore Narrator: Susan Bennett Publisher: HarperCollins Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Related: The Love Story Series Release Date: January 2007 ISBN: 9780061257407
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"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!"

Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks.

Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody—the woman of his dreams—is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too.

For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. Like how much Jody should teach Tommy about his new superpowers (and how much he needs to learn on his own). Plus there's Tommy's cute new minion, sixteen-year-old goth girl Abby Normal. (Well, someone has to run errands during daylight hours!)

Making the relationship work, however, is the least of Jody and Tommy's problems. Word has it that the vampire who nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting any new members into the club. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.

Download and start listening now!

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Quotes & Awards

  • “A vampire comedy that’s witty, bright and funny.”  

    People

  • “The perfect companion for those who can’t or don’t sleep at night—no matter the reason…This is a laugh-a-page novel.” 

    USA Today

  • “Moore’s latest is a cheerfully perverse, gut-busting tale of young vampires in love…Moore writes with the jittery energy of a brilliant, charming class clown, mixing sex and gore and a potty mouth with a goofy-sweet sensibility to deliver laughs on nearly every page.” 

    Publishers Weekly (starred review)

  • “Christopher Moore mines a comic gold mine, deftly skewering the conceits of the vampire genre with precision and wit.” 

    Buffalo News

  • New York Times Bestseller
  • USA Today Bestseller

Listener Opinions

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Chip | 12/26/2015

    " I own every book written by Christopher Moore. His wit (sometimes laugh-out-loud funny) and imagination makes his books collectible. Wanted to reread them but found audio books much more convenient. Audiobookstore,com makes it fast and easy not to mention less expensive to collect audio books. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Cornflakegirl | 2/7/2014

    " It's a very amusing book but I do think that it should be funnier in its original language but I really enjoyed it. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Mace | 2/4/2014

    " A cute sequel to a cute first book. Not as enamored with the chapters written from Abby's perspective, though they are funny at times. Looking forward to the third. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Megan Davisson | 2/2/2014

    " Another favorite due to its blunt humor, crazy plot, and strong characters. I love how wild the story becomes during times you least expect. I suggest you read the review for Christopher Moore's A Dirty Job to get an idea of this book, since the stories are connected. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Niki Paul | 1/24/2014

    " You can tell a man wrote it, so the love is totally lost. It was funny, though. Cheesy, but funny. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Dayna Faulkerson | 1/19/2014

    " the sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends did not disappoint. I liked the humor "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Sasha | 1/19/2014

    " Not as good as the first book in the series, but the book had its moments. (Does anyone ever read my reviews? Probably not. But at least, it will help me remember how I felt about a book when I finished it. lol) "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Jocelyn Thomas | 1/16/2014

    " The ties that Moore creates between and through his various stories only add to the amazing foundation that his characters and San Francisco rest upon. Another great one Mr. Moore!! "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Ariel | 1/14/2014

    " Even lighter that Bloodsucking Fiends (which was already so light it almost floated away), this one felt a bit weak to me. I loved Abby Normal's character, and really the book was more about her than the vamps... who got completely lost. This was fine vacation reading, but not much more. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Jennww2ns | 1/10/2014

    " I don't know what happened but I didn't enjoy this one as much as some of Moore's other books. It just seemed too juvenile for me to really enjoy. Which kind of hurts to say because I usually find his books amusing. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Rich Friedeman | 1/2/2014

    " Incompetent vampires, brooding goths, a call girl who is blue like a Smurf, frozen turkey bowling. Moore is a remarkably entertaining lunatic. He occasionally gets a little to clever with the story, pushing it to the point that is eye-rolling, but he generally keeps it acceptably absurd. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Sophia | 12/27/2013

    " I would probable give it 3.5 stars. I thought it was definitely different from your average vampire book. I liked it though because it was pretty comical. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Mike | 12/11/2013

    " The weakest of the three books in this series, but still worth your time so you can take in the other two. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Russ | 11/8/2013

    " Entertaining if lightweight - a good antidote to the vast amount of vampire based dreck currently flooding the market. Zoomed through it pretty quickly and rather enjoyed it. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Noah | 11/1/2013

    " A entertaining enough follow up to Blood Sucking Fiends. I enjoyed getting to find out what happened next, though it didn't quite delight the way the original did. And while it resolved a lot, it ultimately didn't feel like it was truly necessary. More of a long coda than its own unique story. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Dani | 7/28/2013

    " Because vampires cannot ALWAYS sound like they're quoting teen angst poetry. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Beth | 6/14/2013

    " Not quite a good as A Dirty Job but still a lot of fun worth reading for sure. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Vicky Massingham | 2/24/2013

    " A good follow up! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Dizzy Squid | 12/31/2012

    " I learned my lesson years ago never to read Christopher Moore in public. All I have to say about YOU SUCK is that the scene with the cat had me in tears. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Sarah Terrell | 10/25/2012

    " Defintely not for the faint hearted with language. Laugh out loud funny I laughed so hard that my husband kept giving me funny looks. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Rachel | 10/12/2012

    " Cute. Funny and sweet, though Moore never gets me to the laugh-out-loud point. Really enjoyed having Abby (faux goth vampire-worshipping but actually perky and chirpy teen) narrate. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Alexandra | 9/20/2012

    " Moderately amusing, but I think the style of humor just doesn't work well for me. Too much random wackiness, not enough meatiness to the plot and characters... basically the same way I feel about Terry Pratchett. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Steve | 8/13/2012

    " Really funny book about vampires, love, and the undead. Also a very funny take loving the dead, and really an interesting take on the notion that true love never dies. Moore is a twisted kind of guy. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Shannan | 2/14/2012

    " I enjoyed this one as well as Bloodsucking fiends. Not quality literature, but entertaining/quirky and fast reads. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Janice | 9/27/2011

    " It was cute, although there were some funny parts. And some dumb parts. I think maybe I'm just too old to appreciate that type of humor. I think my son might enjoy it more. He would probably understand the lingo,too. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Kimei | 8/4/2011

    " I didn't like it as much as the first but it was still one of those books that makes you laugh out loud. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Sabrina | 6/19/2011

    " I really want to like Moore, but I've decided I just don't. Quirky? Yes. Creative? Kinda. Juvenile? So much that I really don't enjoy it. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Megan | 6/16/2011

    " Another favorite due to its blunt humor, crazy plot, and strong characters. I love how wild the story becomes during times you least expect. I suggest you read the review for Christopher Moore's A Dirty Job to get an idea of this book, since the stories are connected. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Lisa | 6/15/2011

    " Sassy, hilarious, and surprisingly full of pop cultural reference I enjoyed. One to really help you leave the serious world behind. Also a nice bonus that its set in San Francisco. By no means related to the sparkly vampire craze sweeping the nation.
    "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Jennifer | 6/12/2011

    " This book was awful made it 3 chapters and couldnt go any further.....the book shouldnt be called "you suck" should be this BOOK SUCKS!! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Cornflakegirl | 6/9/2011

    " It's a very amusing book but I do think that it should be funnier in its original language but I really enjoyed it. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 nicole | 6/6/2011

    " It is a quick and fun read.
    After reading the first novel "Bloodsucking Fiends" this one is just like reading on. (Except for the diary form of one of the new characters, which I didn't like)
    "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Chastity | 6/2/2011

    " Pretty fun read. Will read the first installment of this series and another of Moore's books that Mike suggested---Lamb. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Jessica | 6/1/2011

    " This was not as funny as the first book in the series. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Kasi | 5/31/2011

    " Moore's vampire books are, in my opinion, by far his best. Love the characters, the witty writing, and his awesome way with words!! And the narrator for the audio books (vampire series, at least) is phenomenal. She really brings the characters to life. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Tracy | 5/31/2011

    " My least favorite Moore book. Just didn't have the hook and absurd whackiness of some of his others. Oddly enough I like his writing when it's at the most outlandish. This wasn't it. If you are new to Moore's books...this is the one to skip. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Evangeline | 5/30/2011

    " Although there are some funny parts, it's too juvenile for my taste. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Jean | 5/27/2011

    " Can't believe I read this in like 8 days. That is a record for me, I am a very slow reader!!! YOU SUCK is the best follow up to "Bloodsucking Fiends" in fact I think I like it better than the first book. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Rachel "Rae" | 5/26/2011

    " Again, what an absolutely hysterical novel! Well done, Mr. Moore, well done. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Rp | 5/14/2011

    " I got through to the end but I can't say I really enjoyed this one. "

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About the Author
Author Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore boasts a large résumé of work as a satirical fiction author. Known for his colorful characters and imaginative storylines, he has gained a cult following for his books, many of which have become New York Times bestsellers. He splits his time between California and Hawaii. 

About the Narrator

Susan Bennett has enjoyed an extensive career as a vocal artist. She has worked with major agencies on such accounts as Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, AT&T, Blue Cross, Goodyear, and Club Med. Among her audiobook narrations are Full of Grace, Replay, and Tiger, Tiger, for which she won an AudioFile Earphones Award.