Extended Audio Sample

Download Bite Me: A Love Story Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample Bite Me: A Love Story, by Christopher Moore Click for printable size audiobook cover
3.0001597699313 out of 53.0001597699313 out of 53.0001597699313 out of 53.0001597699313 out of 53.0001597699313 out of 5 3.00 (12,518 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Christopher Moore Narrator: Susan Bennett Publisher: HarperCollins Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Related: The Love Story Series Release Date:
Regular Price: $21.99 Download
— or —
FlexPass™ Price: $16.95$5.95$5.95 for new members!
Download learn more )

The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampire cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public.

Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup. ‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they’re vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue.

Abby wants to be a bloodsucking fiend too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein platform boots and wrangling her PhD-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

Download and start listening now!


Quotes & Awards

  • “Wildly funny…touching…unexpected.”

    Charlaine Harris, #1 New York Times bestselling author

  • “Moore proves he has few rivals on the humour-opus front with this high-larious romp that just might have driven the final nail into old Nosferatu’s coffin.”

    Ottowa Citizen

  • “Moore carved a niche in the horror-comedy genre, and anyone with a fiendish sense of humor will love his writing.”

    Florida Times-Union

  • “Moore’s twisted take on the undead comes as a welcome respite from the recent spate of TV, film, and book offerings to bombard us.”

    Edmonton Journal

  • “I can’t emphasize enough how funny Bite Me is.”


  • “Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date.”


  • A New York Times Bestseller
  • Selected for the April 2010 Indie Next List
  • A Publishers Weekly Bestseller
  • A USA Today Bestseller

Listener Opinions

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 by Dave Myles | 2/11/2014

    " Another great book from Moore. I wish they'd make some movies out of his novels! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 by Marissa | 2/7/2014

    " The amusing and action-packed conclusion to the vampiric love story of Jody and Tommy is another fun ride. Abby Normal takes over a major role in the narration in this book, and many returning characters appear - the Emperor and his men, the detectives, and the Animals. Many new characters - both vampiric and not - are introduced, but, by far, the craziest is Chet the vampire cat and his minions. The ending is a nice wrap-up for the trilogy, with both expected and surprise elements. Fun read! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 by Charlotte | 1/22/2014

    " This book is another example of why I like Christopher Moore's books so much! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 by Deneen | 1/15/2014

    " Dunno, couldn't get into this one and I've read em all. Could have just been me. Took a long time to finish. Not one of my faves, but somewhat amusing. "

  • > Show All
Write a Review
What is FlexPass?
  • Your first audiobook is just $5.95
  • Over 90% are at or below $12.95
  • "LOVE IT" guarantee
  • No time limits or expirations