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The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married Audiobook
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(2.99) - 685 listener ratings
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Publisher Description
A bestselling, groundbreaking author investigates wives who thrive, sharing their uncensored strategies for staying married.
America’s high divorce rate is well known, but little attention has been paid to the flip side: couples who creatively (sometimes clandestinely) manage to build marriages that last longer than we ever thought possible. What’s the secret? To find out, bestselling journalist Iris Krasnow interviewed more than two hundred wives whose marriages have survived for fifteen to seventy years. They are a diverse cast, yet they share one common and significant trait: they have made bold, sometimes secretive and shocking, choices on how to keep their marital vows, “till death do us part,” as Krasnow says, “without killing someone first.”
In raw, candid, titillating stories, Krasnow’s cast of wise women give voice to the truth about marriage and the importance of maintaining a strong sense of self apart from the relationship. Some spend summers apart. Some make time for wine with the girls. One septuagenarian has a recurring date with an old flame from high school. In every case, the marriage operates on many tracks, giving both spouses license to pursue the question, who am I apart from my marriage? Krasnow’s goal is to give women permission to create their own marriages at any age. Marital bliss is possible, she says, if each partner is blissful apart from the other.
A fascinating window on the many faces of modern relationships, The Secret Lives of Wives brims with inspiring and daring examples of women who have it both ways: a committed marriage and personal adventures in uncharted territory. For anyone who wants to stay married and stay sane, this is the book to read.
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"I truly think that every woman should read this book. If you are in the early years of your marriage, married for 15 years or more! This book is packed full, of interviews, thoughts, feelings, information that you thought you didn't really need to know, and information and perspectives of women, that you NEED to know. Things in this book made me laugh, smile, and want more. I truly loved listening to this audio book. I loved the narrator of this book. She truly brought the book alive. This author is also fantastic. I read one of her earlier books, "Surrendering to Marriage" when I first got married. She is a great author. At age 68 when she wrote this book she truly touched my heart, made me think more and more about my life, not just in marriage but in the heart of myself, about my parents, about my husbands parents. It truly hit home and shed new light on old topics and brought light to new things that I will learn about and experience later in life as I age. This book is amazing and I would read it again!Happy Reading, Heather Papini"
— Heather (5 out of 5 stars)
Quotes
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“A wife of twenty-three years and mother of four grown sons, Krasnow advises wives that if they care about their families they ‘should find a way to make their marriage work’…A spirited, frequently perceptive work that aims to fix marriages by empowering wives.”
— Publishers Weekly -
“Sounding mature and comfortable with who she is, Bernadette Dunne narrates this enlightening collection of interviews. Her voice is worldly but not condescending, and her empathetic interpretations of poignant quotes are well nuanced.”
— AudioFile
Awards
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Winner of an AudioFile Earphones Award
The Secret Lives of Wives Listener Reviews
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carol jasinski, 11/25/2022
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" Entertaining light reading. The author has interviewed many women who have been married a long time. Emphasizes the values of commitment and each person having their own interests. "
— Carol, 2/5/2014 -
" Disappointed in that I expected the author to be a bit more open minded in terms of what makes a marriage work. She passes judgment ever so cautiously, but she does her fair share of it. "
— Lydia, 1/20/2014 -
" This could be good if you can relate to these affluent women. I enjoyed the stories but I expected to find someone more like myself. I thought her points were good, but the advice is something I cannot take- traveling separately- boy I wish! Just not in the cards for my life- but interesting to read about others. "
— Dione, 12/1/2013 -
" Amazing interviews with women who've been married 20+ yrs. Shocking what they do to stay married! "
— Paula, 11/25/2013 -
" I was hoping that this book would be more encouraging, uplifting, and give me some tips to make my already happy and tranquil marriage even more so. It was more about ways of coping and slogging through by doing your own thing and following your own passions. To me, that advice is called "how to be a person," not how to stay married for 50 years. Maybe a little more emphasis on actually listening to your partner, treating them the way you hope to be treated, and having actual conversations would help people stay married. I know she was just being glib, but at the end of the book, the author said something to the effect of "I could divorce my husband, but then what would I have to complain about on girl's night out?" What kind of insight is that into a long marriage? There were certainly some interesting stories in this book, but it was not a book on how to be happy in your marriage, it was not a pep talk for staying married, and it was not a bunch of sweet stories about how happy and fulfilling a marriage can be. The take away is: getting divorced screws up your family and kids, and you're just as likely to be facing the same crap in your next relationship, so just suck it up and lay in the bed you made yourself. Um...no thank you - I'll take my very happy marriage, and if anyone wants to know MY secrets, and why I'm so happy, feel free to ask - it will be a much more uplifting pep talk. "
— Nissa, 11/24/2013 -
" Perhaps better suited for older generations...a few good points but the author mostly drones on about her own story, that is not entirely insightful nor entertaining. "
— Sel, 11/18/2013 -
" Very well done. This is one of the most honest books about marriage I've ever read and I wish I had seen something like this during the earlier years of my marriage. "
— Mary, 10/3/2013 -
" This a very unsentimental, non-traditional book about staying married for the long haul. I'm glad I read The Secret Lives of Wives, but I still don't know if I liked it. It definitely gave me (and my book club) a lot to think/talk about. "
— Maura, 7/28/2013 -
" It was okay. Some stories better than others. Overall inspiring. "
— Jami, 7/18/2013 -
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shayna westmoreland, 5/7/2013
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" I thoroughly enjoyed this. I would love to discuss this in a multigenerational group of women. Worth the read. "
— Roe, 5/6/2013 -
" It had some good information about marriages but a lot of extra stuff that did not interest me. "
— Brenda, 4/17/2013 -
" Definitely worth reading for the perspective it affords. Enjoyed it. "
— Amy, 11/13/2012 -
" Couldn't finish it either...just not applicable to me or much wisdom in her words of advice. "
— Trina, 11/6/2012 -
" Maybe if I was a little older I would enjoy this book more. Not bad but I didn't find it to be a page turner. Had some pretty interesting stories ... Worth reading it if you don't have anything else to read. "
— Kasie, 10/5/2012 -
" This book was aimed at "boomers," or at least that's what Krasnow says about 80 times. So it's not going to give wives with small children any immediate answers. But it is helpful to think ahead, to foster your own interests and friendships, and to let things go when you can. "
— Shannon, 12/16/2011 -
" This book made me look different at my marriage of less than a year. It gave me hope for our future. Loved this book and would recommend it to new wives and old ones as well. Was written very well with the humor and descriptions. "
— Lesli, 9/28/2011
About Iris Krasnow
Iris Krasnow is the author of the New York Times bestseller Surrendering to Marriage, as well as Surrendering to Motherhood, Surrendering to Yourself, and I Am My Mother’s Daughter. She has appeared on numerous national shows, ranging from Oprah and Good Morning America to All Things Considered. She lives in Maryland with her husband and four sons.
About Bernadette Dunne
Bernadette Dunne is the winner of numerous AudioFile Earphones Awards and has twice been nominated for the prestigious Audie Award. She studied at the Royal National Theatre in London and the Studio Theater in Washington, DC, and has appeared at the Kennedy Center and off Broadway.