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The Botox Diaries (Abridged): A Novel Audiobook, by Janice Kaplan Play Audiobook Sample

The Botox Diaries (Abridged): A Novel Audiobook

The Botox Diaries (Abridged): A Novel Audiobook, by Janice Kaplan Play Audiobook Sample
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Read By: Ana Gasteyer Publisher: Random House Audio Listen Time: at 1.0x Speed 3.17 hours at 1.5x Speed 2.38 hours at 2.0x Speed Release Date: June 2004 Format: Abridged Audiobook ISBN: 9780739312759

Quick Stats About this Audiobook

Total Audiobook Chapters:

48

Longest Chapter Length:

14:37 minutes

Shortest Chapter Length:

01:33 minutes

Average Chapter Length:

05:58 minutes

Audiobooks by this Author:

9

Other Audiobooks Written by Janice Kaplan: > View All...

Publisher Description

In a world where plastic surgery is as popular as a pair of sexy Manolo Blahniks, suburban single mom Jessica Taylor is trying to make it past forty with nothing more than moisturizer and a swipe of mascara. Her glamorous best friend, TV producer Lucy Baldor, has a different idea of aging gracefully. “My body is a temple,” Lucy explains. “I just don’t want it to crumble like St. John the Divine.” Jess and Lucy’s friendship has weathered the trials of marriage, the births of children, and the transition from itty-bitty bikinis to “Kindest Cut” one-piece suits. Now the women are discovering that midlife crises aren’t just for men—they’re equal-opportunity dilemmas. To Jess’s dismay, Lucy announces that she’s taken a lover. A very famous lover. Her husband, Dan, is bound to find out (especially after a picture of the amorous duo appears on Page Six of the New York Post), but Lucy’s too wrapped up in the joys of expensive lingerie and romantic retreats to care. Jess finds herself in the midst of her own romantic predicament when, after ten years of silence, her sexy French ex-husband, Jacques, ends up back in her life—and in her bed. Whether navigating bake sales, bicoastal affairs, or bagels-and-Botox parties, these wise and witty women know that their friendship will remain the one true thing they can count on. Well, that and a good push-up bra, of course. And their bond withstands everything—from an orgy in Willie Nelson’s trailer to a reality TV-show bachelor named Boulder. Funny, brazen, and often poignant, this irresistible novel offers an unexpected and entertaining look at two women’s midlife adventures. From Thai massage to tantric sex, who would have thought forty could be so much fun?

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"Love it! I am a huge chick-lit fan: love happy endings and far-fetched stories. This one was great and so far, the most believable story. Maybe because the characters are my age, so it was from my point of view so to speak. A great read for these hot summer days."

— Sally (4 out of 5 stars)

The Botox Diaries Listener Reviews

Overall Performance: 3.3846153846153846 out of 53.3846153846153846 out of 53.3846153846153846 out of 53.3846153846153846 out of 53.3846153846153846 out of 5 (3.38)
5 Stars: 4
4 Stars: 11
3 Stars: 20
2 Stars: 4
1 Stars: 0
Narration: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 (0.00)
5 Stars: 0
4 Stars: 0
3 Stars: 0
2 Stars: 0
1 Stars: 0
Story: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 (0.00)
5 Stars: 0
4 Stars: 0
3 Stars: 0
2 Stars: 0
1 Stars: 0
Write a Review
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Good book to read by the pool sipping a drink. "

    — Pelelê, 2/16/2014
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Loved this book! I read it probably 4 hours. Perfect summer/beach read. "

    — B, 2/12/2014
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This was a cute fun book. I've ready other booths by these 2 authors and like them. "

    — Mary, 1/7/2014
  • Overall Performance: 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Total fluff. 2 main characters. Jess, who seems more normal, down to earth and Lucy. Lucy is so unlikeable and self absorbed. It was hard to imagine these 2 would ever actually be friends. The whold storyline with Boulder was unbelievable. Could not wait to finish this and put in the recycle book bag. "

    — Lisa, 1/7/2014
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Quick light read! Read in one week "

    — Amanda, 1/5/2014
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " It was an average book. I finished it and it kept my interested near the end when I was trying to find out who would be with who. Just glad to be done with it. I love the character Jess. She balanced out her friendship with Lucy. "

    — Melinda, 11/20/2013
  • Overall Performance: 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Mid-life affairs, botox, dating, reality TV, but the characters are still pretty likeable. Definitely just a fluffy, fun book. Everything works out in the end, I just haven't figured out how the women in this book have any time to do the fun stuff and have time to parent! "

    — Mom, 11/2/2013
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " A fun read, but really rather forgettable. "

    — Peggy, 10/4/2013
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " hilarrrrrrious. laugh out loud hilarious. "

    — Betsy, 9/24/2013
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Entertaining. I read it in about 4 hours! "

    — Wendie, 9/22/2013
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This was a very funny book! Forties to fifties women would definitely enjoy. A good light read! "

    — Robin, 9/4/2013
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " It read like a sictom, but was highly entertaining, quick read. "

    — Ghira, 9/1/2013
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Really fun read. Great and fresh writing. "

    — Amber, 8/17/2013
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Basically, it's okay but nothing special. A nice fluffy read, which is sometimes just what you need. This would be great for a plane ride or for sitting on the beach. "

    — Nicole, 8/16/2013
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Good for a beach read. I read this on the beach and loved it because it was simple and was a guilty pleasure. I also always enjoy reading about the bizarre lives of wealthy Manhattans - I just can't understand their lifestyle "

    — Kari, 6/18/2013
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This book was a quick read...not too much depth to it, but I just randomly picked it off the shelf so didn't know too much about it. :) "

    — Ember, 3/3/2013
  • Overall Performance: 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I was seriously bored with this book, although there were a few chuckles. The title is misleading, as I thought there would be funny stories generated by a group of women struggling with their body image after 40. "

    — Kristine, 9/6/2012
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I highly recommend this book for a light summer read. It's a quick read that's predictable yet enjoyable. It also appeals to an older crowd than those that I'm usually reading. "

    — Wendy, 5/11/2012
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I'm working on reading it...very entertaining, actually. "

    — Stephanie, 12/19/2011
  • Overall Performance: 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Entertaining fluff. These are what I like to call my "pink" books. Similar to a chick flick. "

    — Chris, 12/12/2011
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Cute book. It was actually pretty funny. Had humorous tag lines in it. "

    — Merceda, 11/26/2011
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This book is a romp -- relaxing and fun to read. But you won't find it interesting unless you are over 35. "

    — Lois, 10/14/2011
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This is the second time I read this book, I really liked it, obviously! "

    — Angie, 8/26/2011
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Cute book. An easy read that was fun. "

    — Theresa, 8/7/2011
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Jake actually picked it out for me at the library (he liked the cover) and it was a fun summer read! "

    — Cathy, 7/17/2011
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Fun audio book to listen to on long car rides "

    — Michelle, 7/11/2011
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " A fun, quick, easy, beach read! "

    — Lindsay, 6/21/2011
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Not bad. One character was so selfish and the other was so normal it kind of bothered me sometimes that they were friends. "

    — Robin, 4/7/2011
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Not bad. One character was so selfish and the other was so normal it kind of bothered me sometimes that they were friends. "

    — Robin, 3/14/2011
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This book is a romp -- relaxing and fun to read. But you won't find it interesting unless you are over 35. "

    — Lois, 1/19/2011
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This book was fun and uplifting. It was very humorous and a quick read. <br/>The book focuses on a woman in her mid forties struggling with getting older. she was a preteen daughter and an adulterous best friend. <br/> "

    — Lindsay, 10/16/2010
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Loved this book! I read it probably 4 hours. Perfect summer/beach read. "

    — B, 6/26/2010
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Good book to read by the pool sipping a drink. "

    — Pelelê, 1/8/2010
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Basically, it's okay but nothing special. A nice fluffy read, which is sometimes just what you need. This would be great for a plane ride or for sitting on the beach. "

    — Nicole, 1/6/2010
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Really fun read. Great and fresh writing. "

    — Amber, 11/5/2009
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This was a very funny book! Forties to fifties women would definitely enjoy. A good light read! "

    — Robin, 10/27/2009
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This was a cute fun book. I've ready other booths by these 2 authors and like them. "

    — Mary, 8/6/2009
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I highly recommend this book for a light summer read. It's a quick read that's predictable yet enjoyable. It also appeals to an older crowd than those that I'm usually reading. "

    — Wendy, 7/29/2009
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Good for a beach read. I read this on the beach and loved it because it was simple and was a guilty pleasure. I also always enjoy reading about the bizarre lives of wealthy Manhattans - I just can't understand their lifestyle "

    — Kari, 4/14/2009

About the Authors

Janice Kaplan is editor of Parade, America’s largest magazine. She has produced television shows for the major networks and coauthored several novels, including The Botox Diaries and Mine Are Spectacular in addition to Lacy Fields’ debut mystery, Looks to Die For. She lives in New York with her husband and two sons.

Lynn Schnurnberger is the bestselling author or coauthor of five books, including The Botox Diaries and Mine Are Spectacular! She has written for New York magazine, the New York Times, People, Parade, and Reader’s Digest, among others, and has made regular television appearances, most notably on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America, and Entertainment Tonight. She is also the founder of Foster Pride, a nonprofit that provides art classes and mentoring to New York City foster children.

About Ana Gasteyer

Susan Denaker is an actress and Earphones Award–winning narrator. Her extensive theater credits include numerous plays in the West End of London, national tours, many English rep companies, including a season with Alan Ayckbourn’s company in Scarborough. In the US, she has appeared in Our Town and Sweet Bird of Youth at the La Jolla Playhouse and Breaking Legs at the Westport Playhouse.