Safe People will help you discover why good people can get tangled in bad relationships, how to avoid repeating your own mistakes, and how to pick safe, healthy people for the friends you make and the company you keep.
Too many of us have invested in relationships that have gone wrong. Maybe you've been judged, manipulated, or controlled. Or maybe you've trusted the wrong people in the past. It's easy to make the same mistakes of judgment over and over--or, worse, to give up on trying to have great, authentic relationships again. But it doesn't have to be that way.
In Safe People, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach you that being with an unsafe person can be damaging to your confidence, your trust in others, and even your health. You'll learn that you have the power to surround yourself with accepting, honest, and safe people who draw you closer to being the person God intended you to be.
Drs. Cloud and Townsend, authors of the New York Times bestseller Boundaries, are here to share the lessons they've learned in their years of practicing psychology and studying the patterns and practices that support clear, biblical boundaries. In Safe People, they offer guidance for making safe choices in all of your day-to-day relationships, from family and friends to colleagues and partners.
Safe People will give you the tools you need to recognize what makes people relationally safe, form positive relationships, and even become a safe person along the way. Drs. Cloud and Townsend share expert insights that will help you ask important questions:
It's time to revitalize your connections and finally start enjoying the healthy, balanced relationships that you deserve.
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"I read this book seeking to learn how to avoid unsafe poeple, like those who lie and cheat. For some reason-reasons my therapist and I have discovered- I was attracted to unsafe people. Low and behold, I not only discovered what to look for in others (sharpening my radar and intuitive red flag indicator)-I saw how I was unsafe. So, I started learning about my defense mechanisms and was freed to not live out of fear and through that, have become a safe person myself."
— Julie (5 out of 5 stars)
" It's just not about others, as we tend to have the goal to discern other people. But it's double sword that this book is about ourselves, whether we are safe to others too. We need to discern if others are safe to self, but we have the responsibility to God to discern if we are a safe person to this society/community/people around us. :-) Very thought-provoking and insightful book. "
— Margaret, 2/12/2014" Ever wonder what makes people tick, and why some people seem dangerous to be around and others don't? This book helps explain a lot of it. "
— Ken, 2/3/2014" Excellent insights "
— Kathy, 1/10/2014" If you go into it with an open, prayerful heart and mind, this book can change your life. I've finished the book, but I am working through the book and it's corresponding DVDs with a group at my church. I'm learning so much about myself and the people I surround myself with. I feel safer already! :) "
— Jennifer, 12/23/2013" Great book that I refer to often when doing therapy with clients who have been hurt repeatedly in relationships. This book has character traits listed of people who are emotionally safe and trustworthy. "
— Marian, 12/18/2013" This is the book that I'm working on now. Actually I'm leading a group study on it with about 4 other women. It's a great follow up to Boundaries. I always thought of myself as a 'safe person'. But after working through this book, I realize that I've been in search of such a person for ME! It's taught me some valuable information that I hope to implement into my lifestyle. "
— Beverly, 12/5/2013" Practical, useful information to help you grow in relationships. The thing I like about this book is they don't encourage you to only look for unsafe traits in other ppl, but to look at yourself, thus empowering you to grow & change. "
— Elizabeth, 12/2/2013" This is truly another outstanding book by one of my favorite authors. Dr. Cloud speaks very openly about people with predator like qualities and how to recognize such in anyone; including ourselves. "
— Michael, 11/10/2013" Once I read this book, I was able to find and invest my time into friendships worth keeping "
— Caroline, 11/10/2013" I give this book out like candy! "
— Summisse, 11/4/2013" This is great too. If you don't have the skills in picking out good people to associate with, this is for you. I tend to think all people are nice and I don't want to hurt their feelings so I allow alot of people into my life that should have never been allowed. "
— Rochelle, 10/12/2013" Good little book when working things out and growing. "
— Ellen, 10/9/2013" This is the second time I have read this book. It is excellent! "
— Avril, 9/22/2013" I liked this one a lot better than Boundaries -- clear, practical, biblical, encouraging, challenging! "
— Emily, 9/22/2013" You will see a lot of your relationships in this book. It validated some of the boundaries I have placed on a few relationships through a biblical perspective. Very helpful! "
— Sharon, 9/10/2013" Outstanding book and workbook for helping individuals become safe people themselves and be safe people for others in relationships. Love this resource. "
— Rob, 8/1/2013" Great advice - thanks to my Sis for sending me this. It is a Christian based book with good psyhcology, mainstream can utilize the information just as well as believers. "
— Catherine, 7/10/2013" Good book about learning how to treat others and how to expect to be treated. "
— Naomi, 3/29/2013" very good ...although I am not big on the bible quotes "
— Jill, 3/17/2013" I need to read this one again. It's important for our own self worth to find healthy friends and relationships. "
— Diane, 1/4/2013" Great read! Propels you to be honest about self and those around you! "
— April, 11/18/2012" Funny title and cover but there is some good information in this book. "
— Leda, 10/21/2012" Good information from a Christian point of view. Interesting, but hard for me get through for some reason, even though it is not a large book. Would like to have my own copy for reference. "
— Denise, 7/22/2012" Wish I had read this before I got married. And their book Boundaries as well. "
— Marianne, 4/18/2012" Essential reading for those pursuing multiple intimate relationships. "
— Tim, 1/9/2012" I cannot get enough of this book. I am going to read it again and again and again....I can't believe how much I learned and am still learning from this book. I highly recommend any books by Cloud and Townsend. "
— Gina, 12/4/2011" Excellent content about healthy relationships, personal growth, and redeeming one's difficult relationships. "
— Chrystal, 11/29/2011" A great book! Helps you take a look at your own character and made me want to strive to be a better person, friend, partner, etc. I read the book with a group of ladies as a study and we discussed each chapter as a group. It was very meaningful and insightful to me. "
— Debby, 8/11/2011" I give this book out like candy! "
— Summisse, 5/1/2011" This is truly another outstanding book by one of my favorite authors. Dr. Cloud speaks very openly about people with predator like qualities and how to recognize such in anyone; including ourselves. "
— Michael, 2/28/2011" very good ...although I am not big on the bible quotes "
— Jill, 12/23/2010" Good perspective, for me, on how to interact with all those narcissistic people in the world - especially when they are close to home! Christian reinforced psychology. "
— Michelle, 12/1/2010" Interesting reminder to attempt to identify the character of the people that are close to you. Especially since our relationships impact us so much. Also reminded me to look at myself and see areas where I may not be "safe" to others. <br/> "
— Heyhansen, 3/3/2010" I used much of this information when I worked in child protective services. It helped me to help those who made "bad" relationship choices "
— Linda, 2/1/2010" We all hunger for connections with people. This short, concise book tells us who is good for us and why. "
— Leslie, 1/13/2010" This book was a little too religious for me, but I definitely identified with their descriptions of "unsafe" people because several of them have greatly affected me. It gave me something to think about as far as improving my relationships goes. "
— Bridgett, 2/7/2009" Its a Great book for honest reading & reflection. Acknowledge and become aware of the deeper issues/needs within us, grow, and learn to seek safe rshps. "
— Charlene, 10/22/2008" I need to read this one again. It's important for our own self worth to find healthy friends and relationships. "
— Diane, 10/5/2008" Good book about learning how to treat others and how to expect to be treated. "
— Naomi, 8/20/2008Dr. John Townsend is a popular speaker, psychologist, cohost of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! radio program, and cofounder of the Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. He is the author of many books, as well as coauthor of the 2003 Retailers Choice Award–winning God Will Make a Way and the Gold Medallion Award–winning Boundaries (over one million copies sold). He maintains a private practice in Newport Beach, California, and lives with his wife and children in Los Angeles.
Dr. Henry Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author. His forty-five books, including the iconic Boundaries, have sold nearly twenty million copies worldwide. He has an extensive executive coaching background and experience as a leadership consultant, devoting the majority of his time working with CEOs, leadership teams, and executives to improve performance, leadership skills and culture. He has appeared on numerous radio and TV broadcasts and has been featured or reviewed in the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, the Boston Globe, and others.