What happens to Queen Bees and Wannabes when they grow up? Even the most well-adjusted moms and dads can experience peer pressure and conflicts with other adults that make them act like they’re back in seventh grade. In Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman gives us the tools to handle difficult situations involving teachers and other parents with grace. Reassuring, funny, and unfailingly honest, Wiseman reveals: • Why PTA meetings and Back-to-School nights tap into parents’ deepest insecurities • How to recognize the archetypal moms and dads—from Caveman Dad to Hovercraft Mom • How and when to step in and step out of your child’s conflicts with other children, parents, teachers, or coaches • How to interpret the code phrases other parents use to avoid (or provoke) confrontation • Why too many well-meaning dads sit on the sidelines, and how vital it is that they step up to the plate • What to do and say when the playing field becomes an arena for people to bully and dominate other kids and adults • How to have respectful yet honest conversations with other parents about sex and drugs when your values are in conflict • How the way you handle parties, risky behavior, and academic performance affects your child • How unspoken assumptions about race, religion, and other hot-button subjects sabotage parents’ ability to work together Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is filled with the kind of true stories that made Wiseman’s New York Times bestselling book Queen Bees & Wannabes impossible to put down. There are tales of hardworking parents with whom any of us can identify, along with tales of outrageously bad parents—the kind we all have to reckon with. For instance, what do you do when parents donate a large sum of money to a school and their child is promptly transferred into the honors program–while your son with better grades doesn’t make the cut? What about the mother who helps her daughter compose poison-pen e-mails to yours? And what do you say to the parent-coach who screams at your child when the team is losing? Wiseman offers practical advice on avoiding the most common parenting “land mines” and useful scripts to help you navigate difficult but necessary conversations. Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is essential reading for parents today. It offers us the tools to become wiser, more relaxed parents–and the inspiration to speak out, act according to our values, show humility, and set the kind of example that will make a real difference in our children’s lives. Also available as a Random House AudioBook and as an eBook
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"There are some mothers/fathers that are very anxious and are going through some very hard times when there children are going to school. One comment in particular, the one below is the exact reason why this book was written. Although her review was very well thought out and she explained herself beautifully I feel like she lacked compassion for people like myself who may not be as strong emotionally as she says she is. I hope she can look at the book and learn from it that there are people in the world that do feel this way. I too am oblivious most of the time. I have a busy life as well. But for some reason my anxiety level shoots through the roof when I have to get involved with anything to do with my children's school. I think Rosalnd Wiseman was just trying to help people like myself by using categories and analyzing and breaking apart why there are the mothers who feel the need to be popular "again" or the wannabes. Or the mothers like myself who thought my children's friends would have had some nice parents attached to them and every now and then we can get together for a play date or family BBQ. But thats not the case. Although I am completely satisfied with my social life I feel guilty that when I try to make a play date for my children and there's that biAtch of a mother who says she's busy yet has play dates with everyone else. Because of who I AM its hard for me to not take it personally. I have heard that I am to pretty...or to young (I am older then I look)...or to shy....or I look like a snob. Instead of getting to know me I am judged. I find myself judging everyone else now because they are judging me. Its just an uncomfortable situation all the way around and if there weren't as many parents that feel the way I do, the book would not have been written. I think the book is bittersweet. It's honest and it tells you what kind of mother you are. Look at it as a learning experience. If your the Queens BEE realize you may be hurting someone with your actions and if your the invisible mom...she explains why you may be feeling that way. Its not mean't to upset people, its written to help someone like myself who may not see that I may causing my own problem. It may be my own insecurity. If the Queen bee doesn't talk to me its her own issue, it really has nothing to do with me. Its like a self help book and I recommend it to anyone who who is going through it and thinks they are alone. reply | edit | delete | flag *"
— Jenn (4 out of 5 stars)
" I couldn't relate to this book at all. "
— Kirei, 2/17/2014" Interesting take on adult cliques. "
— Angela, 2/11/2014" This book points out how little we've evolved since high school. Helpful and insightful. "
— Amber, 1/30/2014" This book not only showed me what to look out for in other parents, but what to look out for in my own behaviors I find myself consciously aware my own actions, so that others don't perceive me as a Queen Bee Mom. Lord knows we have enough Queen Bees and Kingpins in this town as it is. "
— Laura, 1/25/2014" Found this one much more interesting and helpful in the sense that I may have to go someday and either deal with the administration on my kid's behalf, or, gulp, be the parent on the receiving end of all the fire. Easy to read, fascinating sociology going on, I recommend it. "
— Laura, 1/25/2014" I think this book should be required reading once your child enters elementary school! :) "
— Christine, 1/19/2014" This is a great book because it helped me see how I behave in certain situations with other mothers and why. After reading it, I can see the "roles" that Wiseman talks about, and I'm less likely to get sucked into the frey of mom politics. "
— Rachelle, 1/9/2014" This is a terrific read for moms who stay at home part time or full time. The similarities between our world and that of the teenage girl is scary..... "
— Mary, 1/1/2014" Some interesting stuff in here about conflict resolution ... lots of it is geared more toward middle school and high school parents... I found the whole section about the different "types" of moms and dads really irritating and limited. "
— Gillian, 12/20/2013" Proves that high school never actually ends when you graduate. "
— Amy, 12/19/2013" A bit much, but there's some helpful advice. "
— Trish, 6/16/2013" I can't say I was that impressed with this book. Lots of time was spent giving great examples of the trials and tribulations of dealing with schools without any practical advice on how to handle the situations. Her first book was much better. "
— Angelique, 5/30/2013" Apropos for all those parents out there dealing with "other" personnel who impact your kids. "
— Rose, 4/27/2013" A good read for anyone headed into the risky waters of the PTA. I found a lot of the parents I deal with in this book and saw myself in there as well. A good perspective read on what to expect come back to school night... "
— Nichole, 10/1/2012" This is a good book that will help parents learn how to deal with: other parents, teachers, coaches, and their own children. It is a great followup to "Queen Bees and Wannabees," the book that inspired the movie "Mean Girls". "
— Joshua, 9/20/2012" This was a great book that I want to re-read when my kids get a little older. It had a lot of good tips and things I remember dealing with as a kid too. "
— Martha, 7/12/2012" I found her classification systems don't really cover everyone. However, there are some great tips on how to deal with other parents and tough parenting situations. It also helps see groups of moms and dads for who they really might be as well as how they operate. "
— Jean, 6/12/2012" This book discusses the different roles moms have in the adult version of cliques, and how the same roles one had in junior high can persist in adulthood. "
— Wendy, 6/11/2012" Read this in preparation for PTA this year. I am scared! :) Ami, should I pass it over? "
— Shelly, 5/12/2012" Honestly a must for any parent who finds navigating other parents to be tougher than dealing with their own kids! "
— Nadine, 3/17/2012" I really wanted to like this book, to find it helpful. But it focused so much on school-based situations that I felt it didn't have much relationship to my family's life. Also, I found it kind of frustrating that I never did figure out what "type" I am. Reformed Invisible? "
— Gnmsmom, 3/11/2012" I found many of the moms and dads I know in here! But where was I? Maybe a mix of a few... "
— Michelle, 8/13/2011" a must read for parents of teens! "
— Rosemary, 4/20/2011" Some interesting stuff in here about conflict resolution ... lots of it is geared more toward middle school and high school parents... I found the whole section about the different "types" of moms and dads really irritating and limited. "
— Gillian, 3/23/2011" This is a good book that will help parents learn how to deal with: other parents, teachers, coaches, and their own children. It is a great followup to "Queen Bees and Wannabees," the book that inspired the movie "Mean Girls". "
— Joshua, 1/31/2011" I think this book should be required reading once your child enters elementary school! :) "
— Christine, 12/27/2010" I couldn't relate to this book at all. "
— Kirei, 8/3/2010" I don't read much popular psychology, but I found this book very useful. It gave me many insights into dealing with other parents and also teachers and coaches. It also made me think twice about why I am so involved at the boys' school (ie for my benefit or theirs?) "
— Laura, 8/2/2010" This is a great book because it helped me see how I behave in certain situations with other mothers and why. After reading it, I can see the "roles" that Wiseman talks about, and I'm less likely to get sucked into the frey of mom politics. "
— Rachelle, 11/16/2009" It was good, but it became repetitive and painful to hear about PTA moms. Once you get the idea that PTA moms are cliquish, just like in middle school, you get the point. "
— Amanda, 10/13/2009" I found her classification systems don't really cover everyone. However, there are some great tips on how to deal with other parents and tough parenting situations. It also helps see groups of moms and dads for who they really might be as well as how they operate. "
— Jean, 9/24/2009" Found this one much more interesting and helpful in the sense that I may have to go someday and either deal with the administration on my kid's behalf, or, gulp, be the parent on the receiving end of all the fire. Easy to read, fascinating sociology going on, I recommend it. "
— Laura, 8/19/2009Rosalind Wiseman is an internationally recognized expert on children, parenting, bullying, social justice, and ethical leadership, and the New York Times bestselling author of Queen Bees and Wannabes and Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads.
Lee Adams has been a voice artist for many years. Her work for the Educational Television Network can be heard on an array of videos, television series, station identifications, and commercials. She is also an accomplished singer/songwriter and lends her talents to various animation projects whenever possible. Lee has narrated both fiction and nonfiction audiobooks.