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Lets Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir Audiobook, by Jenny Lawson Play Audiobook Sample

Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir Audiobook

Lets Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir Audiobook, by Jenny Lawson Play Audiobook Sample
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Read By: Jenny Lawson Publisher: Penguin Audio Listen Time: at 1.0x Speed 5.83 hours at 1.5x Speed 4.38 hours at 2.0x Speed Release Date: April 2012 Format: Unabridged Audiobook ISBN: 9781101564479

Quick Stats About this Audiobook

Total Audiobook Chapters:

37

Longest Chapter Length:

34:31 minutes

Shortest Chapter Length:

02:29 minutes

Average Chapter Length:

14:05 minutes

Audiobooks by this Author:

3

Other Audiobooks Written by Jenny Lawson: > View All...

Plot Summary

Internet sensation Jenny Lawson knocked one out of the park with her book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir).

Known as The Bloggess because of her successful blog by the same name, Jenny takes her audience on a journey back through her life, specifically highlighting all of those moments that she'd rather forget. You'll laugh over and over again as she relives and retells those mortifying experiences, and you might even find yourself relating a little bit, and thinking about the embarrassing moments of your own life.

From her strange and unusual life as a child, growing up in Texas, to the comical years she spent in high school attempting to overcome the awkwardness that she seemed to be dealt a double portion of, you might not stop chuckling. Jenny has a way of weaving her "mostly true memoir" that's both entertaining and inspirational. Through it all, Jenny's tales remind us all that these terrible yet memorable moments are really the ones that define your life. They shape you into who you will become. While some might choose to be affected by them negatively, Jenny chose to embrace the gift they gave her, and she learned to laugh just a little bit more.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened debuted in the number one spot on the New York Times Bestseller list. Neilsen has featured her as one of their Top 50 Most Powerful Mom Bloggers. Forbes also listed her blog in their Top 100 Websites For Women. She's written for various publications, yet humor seems to be her niche, as she continues to dazzle her readers with her wit and insight.

If you're looking for a good laugh, and you're a fan of the comedy talents of professionals like Tina Fey and David Sedaris, you'll love this audiobook.

"A while back there was a blog post that was floating around Pinterest and Facebook. It was about a woman who was going shopping with a friend and was going to buy some towels. Her husband said that she was not to buy more towels because they didn't need them. So she and her friend found this enormous chicken, she bought it, named it Beyonce and set it up on by their front door. Her husband was not amused. I remember reading that and thinking it was hilarious. That post was written by Jenny Lawson and was actually in this book. Her writing seems random and kind of all over the place but it you give it time, she explains why. I really enjoyed this book. I found myself laughing out loud all the way through it. I can see how some might not get into it though, because it really does go all over the place."

— Carielle (4 out of 5 stars)

Publisher Summary

From the New York Times–bestselling author of Furiously Happy. When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives.

Download and start listening now!

Quotes

  • “Even when I was funny, I wasn’t this funny.”

    — Augusten Burroughs, author of Running with Scissors
  • “Bawdy…Lawson’s self-deprecating humor is not only gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate; it also allows her to speak about subjects like depression, anxiety, and infertility in a real and raw way.”

    — O, The Oprah Magazine
  • “If Chelsea Handler had grown up in rural Texas, had a kid, and was a wee bit crazier, she’d be Jenny Lawson.”

    — USA Today
  • “The plot, though, is never the point. It’s following the strange paths down which Lawson’s mind wanders…Did a cougar casually stroll through her back yard last week? Does she really have a zombie kit stashed under her bed? Who cares? The world Lawson inhabits, however much invented, is a glorious place to be.”

    — Washington Post
  • “Sarcastic and sidesplitting…Lawson knows her material so well that her performance seems more like a stand-up than traditional narration, making this audiobook both entertaining and engaging.”

    — Publishers Weekly (starred audio review)
  • “As both author and narrator of this offbeat memoir, Jenny Lawson employs a unique style that is both funny and off-kilter. Imagine Jessica Simpson on truth serum and devoid of inhibitions…[It’s] a platform for Lawson’s insanity, and her narrative persona exudes a lascivious élan that is part stand-up, part literary doppelgänger, and part road-kill recollections…The next Tina Fey has arrived.”

    — AudioFile
  • “[A] funny, irreverent memoir on the foibles of growing up weird.”

    — Kirkus Reviews

Awards

  • A #1 New York Times bestseller
  • A USA Today bestseller
  • A Los Angeles Times bestseller
  • Selected for the May 2012 Indie Next List
  • A 2013 Audie Award Finalist for Humor

Let's Pretend This Never Happened Listener Reviews

Overall Performance: 4.222222222222222 out of 54.222222222222222 out of 54.222222222222222 out of 54.222222222222222 out of 54.222222222222222 out of 5 (4.22)
5 Stars: 18
4 Stars: 10
3 Stars: 6
2 Stars: 2
1 Stars: 0
Narration: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 (5.00)
5 Stars: 1
4 Stars: 0
3 Stars: 0
2 Stars: 0
1 Stars: 0
Story: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 (5.00)
5 Stars: 1
4 Stars: 0
3 Stars: 0
2 Stars: 0
1 Stars: 0
Write a Review
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Story Rating: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5

    — Patrick Fleming, 4/18/2016
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I laughed a lot. Really that is all I feel like saying about this. Jenny Lawson is funny, and sounds (I heard the audio) really nice and her stories are insane. It got a little bit boring sometimes, but I loved listening to this. It accompanied me on a long car ride and I was surprised when we got home because it hadn't taken as long as I thought it would. So there. Car trip shortener. That has to be a great advantage for an audio book right? "

    — Kiwie, 2/18/2014
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I <3 Jenny. "

    — Lauren, 2/16/2014
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " A kind of comic voice I have never heard before, especially from a woman writer. Jenny Lawson is fearless, irreverent and just damn funny- a Dave Barry, Louis CK and George Costanza all rolled into one! "

    — Marilyn, 2/10/2014
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Hilarious storyteller! "

    — Staci, 2/5/2014
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Absolutely hilarious and also very sweet. I loved it! "

    — Edda, 1/30/2014
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This book is hilariously witty and so much fun. You should read it, especially if you have ever lived in Texas or in the country. "

    — Catherine, 1/22/2014
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Humorous, interesting, candid view of the author's life. "

    — Alicia, 1/21/2014
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Funniest book I have ever read! "

    — Trina, 1/18/2014
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Anyone bashing this book just doesn't get it and has never been in her shoes. I love this book so much! It's one of my absolute favorites and I can't get over how loud I was laughing so many times. "

    — Joana, 1/18/2014
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Super funny. Goes pretty fast "

    — Cassy, 12/26/2013
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I could not put this down. And I laughed so hard at times that I think my wife thinks I'm more crazy than she initially thought. "

    — Dan, 12/24/2013
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " There were more than a few parts that had me seriously laughing out loud. Plus, I love a book that uses the word "vagina" multiple times! Although I would never call mine "Ronald Reagan" because I don't believe in regulating mine like he did. "

    — Erin, 12/23/2013
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This book is, admittedly, a little wacky. But I laughed. Out loud. Every time I picked it up. It wasn't life-changing, but it was thoroughly enjoyable. "

    — Norah, 12/17/2013
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Some very funny parts and some stories where she just strained to continue that same comedic tone. All in all, it was entertaining and wow! Is all I can say to growing up like that. Worth reading in your spare time. "

    — Jillian, 12/8/2013
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Although this book is quite vulgar it had me laughing out loud. She makes her unbelievable life believable and makes any dysfunction in your life seem like cake! A few chapters I had to force myself through but I had to give it 4 stars because I have never laughed so much reading a book. "

    — Janice, 12/3/2013
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Hilarious! I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing that I identified with most of the things in this book... "

    — Julie, 11/2/2013
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Funny from front to back. "

    — Christie, 10/16/2013
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This is the best book to read while you are flying. Everyone wonders why you are laughing so it keeps them guessing about your personality. So much fun! "

    — Susie, 8/6/2013
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " A really funny truly laugh til your stomach hurts. I was going to jot best chapters down but too many. My favorite parts were water diaper at the pool and microwave Mac and cheese and weirdest fight ever? Not. Even. Close. "

    — Megan, 6/14/2013
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Best. Memoir. Ever. "

    — Krissy, 3/19/2013
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This hysterical "mostly true" memoir had me laughing out loud! Jenny Lawson writes all about her taxidermy-filled childhood with wonderful imagery. I felt like I was next to her during each of her traumatic experiences. This book makes for a light, quick read next to the pool! "

    — Shelby, 3/9/2013
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Very interesting, unusual and funny read. I'd recommend it! It's about a father, a taxidermist, who makes puppets for his children. "

    — Mary, 2/11/2013
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " A very fast, very funny read. Jenny's humor is not always my style - but when I read the chapter about free hairless rats for children I laughed so hard I cried. Sometimes she hits it out of the park for me. "

    — Pamela, 12/28/2012
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " There were chapters in this book that made me laugh aloud and others that were just so-so, but on the whole very funny and also loving. The language must be very colourful, because even I noticed it. I have subscribed to her blog. "

    — Pgchuis, 10/16/2012
  • Overall Performance: 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Wish I could have liked it more. There is a reason I stopped reading her blog, it just doesn't work for me. Bummed that some chapters were pulled right from the blog. "

    — Erica, 9/24/2012
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Seriously, laugh out loud funny. I so needed a book like this. "

    — Leslie, 8/24/2012
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This is the most hilarious audiobook I've listened to in a long while. Jenny is outrageously funny, highly irreverent and consistently entertaining throughout her book. "

    — Brandon W., 8/3/2012
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I found this to be a rather uneven effort. Jenny is very funny but many sections of the book seemed pointless and only there to pad the page count. "

    — Eric B., 7/2/2012
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I couldn't stop giggling! Hilarious, but not for the faint of heart. "

    — Ali, 6/29/2012
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " My friends kept telling me to check this audiobook out because it was so laugh out loud funny and they were right. There were several times while listening where I was in tears from laughing so hard. "

    — Erin K., 6/17/2012
  • Overall Performance: 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Jenny tries hard to be funny but ends up being more annoying than anything else. If you're looking for humor look elsewhere. "

    — S.T., 6/4/2012
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Funniest memoir I've read in years and full of unique insights. Highly recommended. "

    — Kerry Y.., 5/26/2012
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I'm a big fan of Jenny's blog so I jumped at the chance to check out her memoir when it came out. It's pretty good with lots of her trademark humor and plenty of interesting stories from her life. She does get off track in a few places which caused me to occasionally lose interest but every time she managed to get back on point after her thankfully short diversions. "

    — C.D., 5/4/2012
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This book made me laugh out loud, literally, and got me laughing so hard I cried. So worth it. "

    — Brandy, 4/26/2012
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " too much cusing but a nice read. "

    — Kiersi, 4/15/2012

About Jenny Lawson

Jenny Lawson is a columnist and a popular blogger with an average of two to three million views per month and a strong Twitter following of hundreds of thousands of users. She lives in the Texas Hill Country with her husband and daughter.