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Download Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story Audiobook, by Adam Rex Click for printable size audiobook cover
3.14 out of 53.14 out of 53.14 out of 53.14 out of 53.14 out of 5 3.14 (7 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Adam Rex Narrator: Kirby Heyborne Publisher: HarperCollins Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date: July 2010 ISBN: 9780061995255
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Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same.

Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . .

Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.

Download and start listening now!


Quotes & Awards

  • “Surprising, funny, and poignant. The ending hits the reader’s heart like a stake and lingers long in the mind—the best kind of undead.” 

    Washington Post

  • “The title says it all in this delightfully macabre spoof on the current vampire craze. Rex sustains the wonderfully dry humor and calculated silliness and then surprises the reader with a thoughtful, poignant, ambiguous ending that is bound to inspire discussion.” 


  • “Heyborne’s narration adds dimension to the story. Doug bumbles along, neither the story’s hero nor its victim, earning both exasperation and compassion from listeners. Rex’s offbeat story encourages listeners to think in new ways about teenagers, vampires, and the problems of immortality.” 


  • “Horror chills, humor, crisp prose and excellent secondary teen characters make this one fun read.” 

    Kirkus Reviews

  • A Selection for the Kids'Indie Next List
  • An Amazon Best Book of the Month for July 2010

Listener Opinions

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Christopher | 6/27/2011

    " Utterly stupid with no real point or ending. Author tried to funny but it never really happened. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Colleen | 6/24/2011

    " Very enjoyable beginning. Made me laugh out loud on several occasions but it lost steam and the characters became less and less likable as the book went on. Really didn't like the way it was ended but I'm giving it 3 stars for some good laughs early in the book. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Lisa | 5/29/2011

    " Premise is really good, but the plot fizzles out near the middle and the ending is rather unsatisfying. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Emily | 5/25/2011

    " Being a lover of the Twilight series and an avid Comicon nerd, I found this book hilarious. Everything that makes a teenage vampire hero just doesn't seem to work for our poor fat vampire lol. If it wasn't meant as a parody, then I must have a twisted sense of humor :P "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Karen | 5/23/2011

    " I loved this book! Freaking hilarious!!! The ending was kind of a disappointment, but that is kind of the whole point. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Angela | 4/24/2011

    " Some parts seemed so juvenile (well, it is YA, but...)then there were laugh out loud funny parts. It was a mixed thing. I might consider reading other books by this author. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Nicole | 3/25/2011

    " This was not the best book I've ever read. The end comes abruptly, the character shifts his persona near the end of the book, and it rambles in places. But it wasn't a bad read. "

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About the Author
Author Adam Rex

Adam Rex is the author of many books, including the New York Times bestselling picture book Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich, the middle-grade novel The True Meaning of Smekday, and the teen novel Fat Vampire. Garlic and crosses are useless against him. Sunlight has been shown to be at least moderately effective. A silver bullet does the trick. Pretty much any bullet, really. He currently lives in Arizona with his wife.

About the Narrator

Kirby Heyborne is an American musician, actor, and multiple award–winning audiobook narrator. After graduating from the University of Utah with a degree in economics, he received critical acclaim for his starring role in the award-winning World War II drama Saints and Soldiers. He has starred in many feature films and national commercials and has appeared on Everwood and Free Ride. In addition, he can frequently be found touring the country with his singing and songwriting act.