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Download Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample Are You There, Vodka? Its Me, Chelsea, by Chelsea Handler Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (69,113 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Chelsea Handler Narrator: Chelsea Handler Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date:
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In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands—the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date—including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it’s a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they’re a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she’s starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

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Quotes & Awards

  • “Chelsea Handler is a terrific comedian and a hilarious writer.”

    Jay Leno

  • “Where have I been all of Chelsea Handler’s life? I had no idea how funny, how brilliant she is. She is too clever for words.”

    New York Post

  • “Handler’s laugh-out-loud stories will have you hooked from page one.”


  • “This memoir, which might be best described as a stand-up comedy extravaganza, describes Chelsea’s life above and between the sheets...Nonstop, outrageous humor.”

    Barnes & Noble editorial review

  • “A hilarious book...In this collection of essays on relationships, family life, and her own adventures, she is both charming and brutally honest...Handler is brilliant at her craft of comedy.”

    Library Journal

  • A #1 New York Times Bestseller
  • A USA Today Bestseller

Listener Opinions

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 by Katie Sims | 2/9/2014

    " Chelsea is hilarious and creative. I'd never heard of her until someone let me borrow this to read over vacation an I laughed through the whole thing. It may not be for everyone but I enjoyed it. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 by Camila | 2/8/2014

    " While it isn't my first choice in books, it is really enjoyable and funny and careless. While I think it wouldn't qualify as a memoir, which, if I'm not mistaken, is how she classifies it, it really captures the gist of her life. It could have been edited better, since there are a lot of divergences when it comes to her attempts of making a joke or two, but overall, really funny. She's a funny woman. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 by Anne-paige Duncan | 1/30/2014

    " She is hilariously inappropriate. I wouldn't recommend this to my mother ;) "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 by Jane | 1/26/2014

    " I laughed out loud when I read this politically incorrect book in public places and didn't care. "

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