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Whether you run a Fortune 500 company or serve as CEO of your household, negotiating effectively is crucial to leading wisely and living well.

Leading and living are a series of constant negotiations. Consider what goes on during your typical week: Can you influence your client to accept your proposal? Will you persuade colleagues to give you the resources you need to finish your project? How will you ask your neighbor to switch carpool days so that you will finally have time to get to the gym?

According to conventional wisdom, a “win-win” outcome is the hallmark of success. However, until now, advice on getting there has overlooked one crucial element. It turns out that the most important negotiations you have, the ones that drive the impact of your leadership and the quality of your life, are the ones you have with yourself.

What does negotiating with yourself mean? It’s what happens when you want to stay at the office, but also want to keep your promise to the family to get home in time for dinner. Or when one side of you votes to roll the dice and go for your dream job, while another worries about paying the mortgage. It’s what you do when one part of you wants to give your relationship every chance to work, while another knows that this time it’s really over.

When you’re of more than one mind about what to do, negotiating with yourself is an essential skill. Should you say yes or no, or should you stall for time? Offer an olive branch or lay down the law? Speak your mind or hold your peace? When you know how to win the tug-of-wars inside of you, then you can “get to yes” in lasting and transformational ways.

With honesty, humor, and fresh ideas, Winning from Within gives you a clear road map for knowing your inner world and a method for sorting yourself out.

Whether you’re struggling with a difficult customer or arguing with your spouse, by understanding what leadership and negotiation expert Erica Ariel Fox calls your “inner negotiators,” you’ll learn to turn breakdowns into breakthroughs. With the insight and tools to get out of your own way, you’ll find new avenues to realizing your dreams.

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Quotes & Awards

  • “Erica Ariel Fox knows how to transform her audience and really make them think, question their beliefs, and change for the better. She is a cutting edge thought leader and change agent.” 

    Puja Sehgal Jaspal, principal of the Google Compensation Team, Google

  • Winning from Within is an epiphany and inner guidebook in one. It reveals how our goals and dreams can be reached through knowing and acting from our best selves, but more importantly it teaches us how to actually do this, in work and life.”

    C. Geoffrey McDonough, MD, president & CEO, SOBI

  • Winning from Within offers a powerful and practical method for character development, a missing link in leadership development that is increasingly essential for new and seasoned executives alike. Fox’s unerring, beautiful prose makes the journey toward a better self one that you won’t want to miss.”

    Amy C. Edmondson, Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management, Harvard Business School

  • “After twenty-five years in the business, Winning From Within was simply the most impactful training I have ever experienced.” 

    Brian Ratte, North America sales leader, IBM

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About the Author

Erica Ariel Fox teaches negotiation at Harvard Law School. She is a cofounder of the global leadership and change firm Mobius Executive Leadership and a senior advisor to McKinsey Leadership Development. A highly sought-after expert and speaker, she helps teams in trouble, inspires audiences, and supports businesses seeking transformational change. She also provides leadership training to public-sector organizations and through executive education courses. She earned her undergraduate degree from Princeton University and her law degree from Harvard Law School. She and her family divide their time between Boston and Amsterdam.