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This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It Audiobook
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(4.00) - 4,138 listener ratings
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From David Wong, the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.
Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.
You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed.
Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.
"Like an episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead" written by Douglas Adams of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." …Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it." –Washington Post
"Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller… David Wong (Jason Pargin) is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you." –SF Signal
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"Not quite as good as its predecessor, but an interesting take on the zombie theme nonetheless. As always, the author's knack for humor fuels the narrative, making the ridiculous story a vessel to transport the reader from one laugh to another. By the end, my favorite character was someone completely unexpected (I mean, who wouldn't love the resident Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter/Firefly/Battlestar Galactica geek girl?) and I was ready to cry over a talking dog. Yeah... it's that kind of book."
— Aaron (4 out of 5 stars)
This Book is Full of Spiders Listener Reviews
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" hillarious- dont read if you intend on having a sleeping baby in your arms. The last few pages made me laugh so hard I not only woke my baby up but she started screaming in fear hahaha. Just so funny. If you've read it I'm talking about the santa pubes and farting to the door. Yes, THAT made ME laugh.. "
— Ariel, 2/12/2014 -
" I didn't want it to end. I haven't laughed so hard reading a book in a very long time. More please! "
— Cchirinos, 2/10/2014 -
" Highly recommend! I laughed hard in places! "
— Janet, 1/30/2014 -
" I highly recommend this book & it's predecessor, John Dies At the End. I guess they'd qualify as horror-y, scary-ish books, but I don't like scary stuff and they were fine with me. Often quite creepy, but also laugh-out-loud funny. Definitely good books for guys, too. "
— Robin, 1/25/2014 -
" Even better than John Dies is This Book, outshining its prequel in every way, shape, and form. Left me begging for a third entry. "
— Isaac, 1/23/2014 -
" Awesome thank you David Wong "
— Cody, 1/21/2014 -
" Pretty bizarre, in a paranoid, drugged kind of way. "
— Richard, 1/19/2014 -
" This was surprisingly good, and right up my alley. Recommended to anyone who enjoys horror, comedy, and books about horror and comedy. "
— Josh, 1/16/2014 -
" Even more bizarre than John Dies At The End. This book gave me some weird dreams, and part of the end broke my brain. But in a totally awesome David Wong is the best kind of wacko way. "
— cassie, 1/5/2014 -
" Great book! I got the advance copy in the giveaways and it arrived a day later. I popped the sucker open and finished it that night. It's witty, hilarious, and an overall fun read. Do yourself a favor and grab a copy. "
— Morgan, 12/23/2013 -
" This book was very funny. Two twenty something slackers both cause and then save the world from a zombie apocalypse. The author is able to throw in some great observations on the human condition in the meantime. "
— Mike, 12/13/2013 -
" I laughed, I got choked up, I went "...". Not as a good as John Dies At the End but still highly enjoyable. "
— Q, 12/12/2013 -
" Fun follow-up to John Dies at the End. "
— Ronald, 12/6/2013 -
" An in depth illustration of why all survivalist preppers are not truly prepared until they have stocked up on velvet Jesus paintings and Irish Setters. "
— Jacqueline, 11/30/2013 -
" This is the type of movie I would watch, but I have never read a book that is weird, funny, gory, sad, and written so well. I felt I was right there with David, John, and Amy through all their adventures. The only thing I guessed right was Molly licking Amy while... read the book it is awesome. "
— Betty, 11/5/2013 -
" I should not be rewarding such undisciplined writing by praising it, but I had a really good time reading this book. "
— Robin, 10/22/2013 -
" not as good as john dies at the end but still a good laugh "
— Tom, 10/5/2013 -
" A blend of comedy horror and sci-fi. While ridiculous and outrageous it wasnt nearly as outlandish as John Dies at the End, which I learned recently has been made into a movie! I will definitely read the next book in the series. "
— Marguerite, 9/5/2013 -
" My book club would hate it, but I loved this book. The pace, the humour, the twists and turns. If you like books about zombies, conspiracy theories, aliens and ordinary folk as reluctant heroes this book is for you. "
— Alison, 8/26/2013 -
" I liked this book even more than the first! "
— Curtis, 8/7/2013 -
" Not bad, but some parts are slow, almost hesitating. "
— Barak, 6/28/2013
About David Wong
David Wong is the pseudonym of Jason Pargin, senior editor and columnist for humor megasite Cracked.com. He is the author of John Dies at the End and This Book Is Full of Spiders.