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Download This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Dont Touch It, by David Wong Click for printable size audiobook cover
4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 4.00 (4,116 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: David Wong Narrator: Nick Podehl Publisher: Brilliance Audio Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date:
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From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.

Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. This is not a metaphor. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fearmongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fearmongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection—the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That’s just as well, since the “cure” involves learning what a chain saw tastes like. You can’t feel the spider because it controls your nerve endings. You can’t see it because it decides what you see. You won’t even feel it when it breeds—and it will breed.

So what happens when your family, friends, and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We’re all about to find out. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I’m just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won’t hold it against you if you’re upset. I know that’s just the spider talking.

Download and start listening now!

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Listener Opinions

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 by Aaron White | 2/14/2014

    " Not quite as good as its predecessor, but an interesting take on the zombie theme nonetheless. As always, the author's knack for humor fuels the narrative, making the ridiculous story a vessel to transport the reader from one laugh to another. By the end, my favorite character was someone completely unexpected (I mean, who wouldn't love the resident Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter/Firefly/Battlestar Galactica geek girl?) and I was ready to cry over a talking dog. Yeah... it's that kind of book. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 by Ariel | 2/12/2014

    " hillarious- dont read if you intend on having a sleeping baby in your arms. The last few pages made me laugh so hard I not only woke my baby up but she started screaming in fear hahaha. Just so funny. If you've read it I'm talking about the santa pubes and farting to the door. Yes, THAT made ME laugh.. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 by Cchirinos | 2/10/2014

    " I didn't want it to end. I haven't laughed so hard reading a book in a very long time. More please! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 by Janet Waltz | 1/30/2014

    " Highly recommend! I laughed hard in places! "

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