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John Dies at the End Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample John Dies at the End, by David Wong Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (16,544 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: David Wong Narrator: Stephen R. Thorne Publisher: Blackstone Audio Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date:
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At first glance, one would think that knowing the ending would spoil the plot. Not so with John Dies at the End. When John and Dave, best friends through the years, meet for the first time in awhile, everything seems normal at first. They talk. Tell each other what's been going on with their lives. But it's obvious right away that things aren't all as they seem...something unusual is afoot, and it has to do with a reporter named Arnie and a drug known only as "Soy Sauce". After a while, though, they start to wonder: is the drug really a drug at all, or something much more powerful? Only time will tell.

John Dies at the End is a riveting, hilarious tale that will have you certain you already know the end at first, before you start to wonder: Do you?

David Wong is a pseudonym for American author Jason Pargin. Born in 1975, his career in writing started a bit unusually. In 1999, he started the site Pointless Waste of Time, which would eventually become cracked.com, netting him quite a bit of fame along the way. While working as a copy editor at a legal firm, be began creating episodes of a popular web serial that would eventually become John Dies at the End. He is quoted with saying that his pseudonym was originally created to keep his friends and family unassociated with the work, but nowadays the knowledge does not bother him any longer.

STOP.

You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands.

NO, don’t put it down. It’s too late. They’re watching you.

My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you’ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it’s too late. You touched the book. You’re in the game. You’re under the eye.

The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.

The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce, and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do.

I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.

Download and start listening now!

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Quotes & Awards

  • “The book’s smart take on fear manages to tap into readers’ existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next.”

    Publishers Weekly

  • “Mixing free-wheeling absurdist horror, great one-liners and wonderfully funny, if gory, set-pieces, the novel was first posted online in 2007 and gained a cult following. It may be a farrago of nonsense, but it’s also unputdownable thanks to great narrative pace and its pair of likeable layabouts. Imagine Vonnegut channelling Philip K. Dick channelling Hunter S. Thompson. A twisted delight.”

    Guardian (London)

  • “When it’s funny, it’s laugh-out-loud funny, yet when the situation calls for chills, it provides them in spades.”

    Kirkus Reviews

  • “The rare genre novel that manages to keep its sense of humor strong without ever diminishing the scares.”

    Onion AV Club 

  • “John Dies at the End…[is] a case of the author trying to depict actual, soul-sucking lunacy, and succeeding with flying colors.”

    Fangoria

  • “David Wong is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King…‘page-turner’ is an understatement.”

    Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I–V and Bubba Ho-tep

  • “David Wong has managed to write that rarest of things—a genuinely scary story.”

    David Wellington, author of Monster Island and Vampire Zero

Listener Reviews

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Review by Matty | 2/14/2014

    " AMAZING!!! Horrific and funny!!! Could not put it down! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Review by Clifford Johnson | 2/12/2014

    " I thoroughly enjoyed David and Johns characters, they could have easily been any one of my friends. I laughed out loud a lot while reading this too, which was new to me, seeing as how I usually read fantasy and scifi. I constantly had to read exerts out loud for friends and strangers alike when they started looking at me funny in the coffee shop. Great read thank you Mr.Wong. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Review by Denise | 2/6/2014

    " I really enjoyed this romp, and look forward to reading the next! I'm not as effusive as "It was better than Cats!" but I do highly recommend. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Review by Joelle Ashley | 2/4/2014

    " It is a really good story, but there was a SERIOUS overuse of the "r" word. "

  • > Show All
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About the Author
Author David Wong

David Wong first appeared on the scene in 1999, publishing a website full of his unique and mostly unsettling work at the appropriately named PointlessWasteOfTime.com. In 2007 he became the editor of Cracked.com. Before the novel John Dies at the End came along, he was most famous for writing an essay called “Inside the Monkeysphere.”

About the Narrator

Stephen R. Thorne is a member of the resident acting company at Providence’s esteemed Trinity Repertory Company, where his favorite productions include Hamlet, Henry V, and The Cider House Rules. He lives with his family in Lincoln, Rhode Island.