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Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I've Learned Audiobook
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(3.01) - 3,211 listener ratings
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He’s one of America’s most recognizable and acclaimed actors–a star on Broadway, an Oscar nominee for The Aviator, and the only person to ever win Emmys for acting, writing, and directing, during his eleven years on M*A*S*H. Now Alan Alda has written a memoir as elegant, funny, and affecting as his greatest performances. “My mother didn’t try to stab my father until I was six,” begins Alda’s irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on, after early struggles, to achieve extraordinary success in his profession. Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show-business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only just begun to grow. It is the story of turning points in Alda’s life, events that would make him what he is–if only he could survive them. From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist’s shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can’t be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father, both personally and professionally, Alda learns the hard way that change, uncertainty, and transformation are what life is made of, and true happiness is found in embracing them. Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, filled with curiosity about nature, good humor, and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any Alda has ever played on the stage or screen.
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"I grew up a fan of Alan Alda's on Mash. As I got older, I hated the films he directed, but loved his turns as a villian. He was a surprise in a dreadful film called Cries at Midngiht (I think that was the title) and especially in Crimes and Misdeameanors, a film he stole from it's director Woody Allen. In both of those films, it was his character's pompositys that Alda punctured with obvious relish. In this book, that pomposity is on display, but also here is that same relish. It is no surprise to anyone why Alda is still a force in making great films and writing, because he does have a very original wit as well as a willingness to take on any subject, even his own cherished beliefs and make comic hash out of them. This book wasn't perfect, few autobiographies are, but it still very readable because of Alda's personality."
— Paul (4 out of 5 stars)
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed Listener Reviews
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" Loved it! I purchased this on my Kindle for a fun vacation read. I'm glad I own this book because as soon as I finished it, I was ready to read it again! It had me from the first sentence! "
— Carole, 2/16/2014 -
" The first of two books by Alan Alda. Most people ask me, why I've read both autobiographies by Alda? Well, when I was just a boy my Dad watched what were the re-runs of the show MASH and I would sit and watch it with him. I was under the impression at the time the show was a serious medical drama but then I learned what sarcasm was. So, I read this book in a way to reconnect with my Dad; it turns out in the process Alda is a really interesting guy. The book is not only hilarious it also has the down to earth practical advice everyone is searching to give in a memoir like this. "
— Travis, 2/16/2014 -
" Very disappointed in his book. Was not impressed. Guess I expected him to be as he was in Mash. "
— Sandra, 2/11/2014 -
" I liked it. This book helped me correctly answer a question at trivia last night. "
— Claire, 1/25/2014 -
" I have a ridiculous relationship with Alan Alda. I have been in love with Hawkeye since I was ten; Groucho Marx reincarnate as a modern, cutie (ugh, i know) with political commentary. *sigh* I have done my best to see everything he has made since, from bad movies to his scientific american work and even his knew series Human Spark. I have read and seen enough to know that he is smart, curious, and a big fat nerd. His autobiography was funny, poignant, silly and gave a nice picture of his life. "
— Ariel, 1/15/2014 -
" This was an enjoyable read! Alan Alda can tell a story better than most anyone! The way the book is written is as if he is sitting across from you telling the story of his life. He is able to insert humor to make the difficult parts of his life seem more bearable. I walked away from this feeling as though I had just spend the afternoon talking with an old friend about parts of his life I never knew. "
— Ronda, 1/6/2014 -
" This one is better than the second round of memoirs. This one has a lot more stories with what can be learned from those stories. And the stories are not about movie sets and famous people; they are growing up stories and what Alda learned from them. A great read for anyone who loves Alan Alda and anyone who wants to pick up a few pointers. "
— Josh, 1/3/2014 -
" Excellent book and an interesting insight into the life of Alan Alda. "
— Limejuize, 12/29/2013 -
" What an interesting life he's led! Alda takes the reader through some of his most memorable and self-shaping moments. Interesting & entertaining read. "
— Ziggy, 12/25/2013 -
" i have a little crush on alan alda. i can't really quite explain it, but there you have it. the guy is smart, a fantastic actor, and has a great way of seeing the world. this was a nice little memoir to read while nursing my daughter during her first weeks of life. "
— Arlette, 12/8/2013 -
" I listened to the audio book of this and it was laugh-out-loud funny, but disappointing that it was not read by the author. "
— Janderson, 12/5/2013 -
" I always loved Alan Alda on MASH. This book made me laugh out loud so many times I lost count. His real life reads like a novel--a weird, funny, eccentric, fascinating novel. You can practically hear his voice telling you the stories of his life. "
— Wendy, 11/15/2013 -
" The only thing that would make this the book better is if it had been read by Alan Alda himself. "
— Carrie, 10/3/2013 -
" This book is a real hoot! Very funny. "
— Kathy, 9/16/2013 -
" I liked this book a lot. Wonderful memoir of a very funny and honest guy. Enjoyed it. "
— Theresa, 9/5/2013 -
" Not a bad read. He had an interesting upbringing. I could relate somewhat with having to deal with a mother with a mental illness although my mother was not quite as bad it seems. I think he had a very supportive wife! "
— Nadine, 6/4/2013 -
" What a fun read. Parts of this were laugh-out-loud funny. Also, what a delight to discover that Alda is the great person I hoped he would be. "
— Joy, 1/4/2013 -
" Alan Alda was my 1st crush. What can I say? I enjoy his memoirs. It's cool to have had the chance to get behind the scenes. He could describe a fart in detail and I would 4-star it. <3 "
— Shannon, 12/15/2012 -
" Humorous and full of wisdom. I love Alan Alda. "
— Julie, 8/2/2012 -
" An interesting and humorous memoir of a very talented and inspirational actor. "
— Chelsie, 7/24/2012 -
" I'm not sure how someone as seemingly solid and normal as Alan Alda ever emerged from the childhood he describes, but apparently he did. It is an interesting story. And I would have to agree with the title. Not a good idea. "
— Annie, 3/18/2012 -
" I didn't find it terribly interesting, especially the first half of the book. He's not the best storyteller and there wasn't much in the book about his time on MASH. I wouldn't recommend reading this book. "
— Phoena, 3/10/2012 -
" I enjoyed this book. It gave an inside view to Alan Alda's life. He has always been one of my favorite actors and now authors. "
— Brenda, 1/6/2012 -
" One of the only books that I openly laughed out loud. "
— Kris, 10/21/2011 -
" Not bad, amusing in parts. I read this because MASH was one of those landmark programmes when I was growing up "
— Johanne, 10/9/2011 -
" Interesting read and pretty funny. Alan Alda was very thoughtful about his career through out it. "
— Melanie, 10/6/2011 -
" I enjoyed Alan's writing style. His easy prose flowed from the page, as though I were hearing him speak. The book provided interesting insights about vaudeville, his childhood, and life outside of M*A*S*H. His acting career is about more than just playing "Hawkeye Pierce". "
— Janell, 8/26/2011 -
" A decent read - especially if you like M*A*S*H - but I expected better. "
— Christopher, 6/15/2011 -
" Loved it! A great read whether you are an actor or not. Couldn't put it down. "
— Grace, 5/27/2011 -
" While there are several amusing anecdotes, this book read like one of those "as told to" celebrity biographies. "
— InfoShaman, 5/11/2011 -
" I love Alan Alda. I learned a number of things about him and enjoyed his humour as always. A good read. "
— Jolene, 5/11/2011 -
" Started out strong, but lost momentum for me in the end. "
— Andrea, 4/24/2011 -
" Amusing memoir by Alan Alda. Since I was not a "MASH" fan, I more enjoyed his stories of growing up with a father who worked at a strip club (and later became a big-time Hollywood actor). "
— Paula, 4/21/2011 -
" You can just hear him in your head, telling you his story, when u read it.<br/>It's very good and very funny. "
— Line, 3/21/2011 -
" Funny, entertaining auto bio. by award winning actor and writer. Took a while to read but I liked it a lot. "
— Cindy, 3/6/2011 -
" Moving and funny. Alda is full of curiosity and always questioning his world. A complex man who doesn't take himself too seriously. The kind of person I'd like to invite to dinner and get to know better. "
— Becky, 3/5/2011 -
" Who knew- the early part of Alan Alda's childhood was spent in a traveling burlesque show! "
— Amanda, 3/5/2011 -
" I enjoyed the early years most. Found out a lot about him I did not know. "
— Linda, 2/18/2011 -
" So wonderfully casually written that it felt just like sitting down by the fireplace with a pot of tea, talking through the night. The most humble, heartfelt autobiography I've ever read. "
— Rica, 2/9/2011
About Alan Alda
Alan Alda is an American actor, director, screenwriter, and author. A six-time Emmy Award and Golden Globe Award winner, he played Hawkeye Pierce for eleven years in the television series M*A*S*H and has acted in, written, and directed many feature films. He has starred often on Broadway, and his avid interest in science has led to his hosting PBS’s Scientific American Frontiers for eleven years. He was nominated for an Academy Award in 2005 and has been nominated for thirty Emmy awards.
About Marc Cashman
Marc Cashman, Earphones Award–winning narrator, was named one of the “Best Voices of the Year” by AudioFile magazine. His voice can be heard on radio, television, film, and video games. He also instructs voice actors through his classes, The Cashman Cache of Voice-Acting Techniques, in Los Angeles.