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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks (Abridged): . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy Audiobook
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A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire. ADAM CAROLLA is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the Adam Carolla Podcast, before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show Loveline (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program "Dancing with the Stars". Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.
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"I'm amused to see other reviewers are disappointed in the lack of deep sociological soul searching or philosophical lessons in this book. If the title didn't clearly enough indicate that this was a work of pure comedy, the author should. Laughed the entire way through, out loud and some points almost to tears. Absolutely recommend it for anyone who doesn't take themselves too seriously and isn't easily offended. Great easy read."
— Shay (4 out of 5 stars)
In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks Listener Reviews
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Bruce Miebs, 1/28/2022
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" Loved it. Laughed so hard at times I cried. "
— Faithsmommy, 2/19/2014 -
" If you listen to Carolla's podcast regularly, you've heard 75% of the material in this book. That's not to say it isn't entertaining experiencing his rants in print form. He does nail down many of the systemic problems and inconsistencies with American life, and that's probably the saving grace of the book. The structure of the book is all over the place, but what the heck do you expect from a guy who readily admits to having only read ~5 books in his entire life. Quick, easy read but definitely not essential. Stick to the podcast, Ace. "
— Glenn, 2/12/2014 -
" It was funny until we got to his idiotic political views. Then it was just sad. "
— Covermonkey, 2/1/2014 -
" Entertaining but a lot of rehashing of old bits... "
— Djm, 1/27/2014 -
" The first 100 pages were interesting and were more of social commentary. But beyond that it turned into a full-blown rantfest filler material designed to inflate the page count. Its a quick light read before bedtime and/or on the commode. "
— Mukil, 1/9/2014 -
" He's funny, yes. He makes many astute points, many obtuse points. Rehashes lots of the same stuff he says in his podcast. "
— Scott, 12/30/2013 -
" If you've heard the podcast or Loveline, then most of the stories here will be rehashing things you've already heard. Still, it's extremely entertaining. Carolla's jags translate well to the page. "
— Muneer, 12/17/2013 -
" Funny. Funny. Funny. Adam says all of the things you're already thinking but can't say out loud. Very easy read if you need a break from the heavy stuff. "
— Matthew, 12/12/2013 -
" Meh! The funny parts are nearly not enough to compensate the boring ranty drivel. You want to be funny, take a lesson from Greg Gutfeld. AC got paid to write this crap? Our society is really going to hell in a hand basket. "
— Anna, 11/24/2013 -
" If you're a fan of Adam Corolla this is the book for you. It is basically a stand up routine in written form. I was constantly laughing throughout the entire book. A short quick read. "
— Haim, 11/12/2013 -
" Funny in a "I shouldn't be laughing at this stuff" kind of way. Some things were way past inappropriate but others were just sort of inappropriate and laugh out loud funny. "
— Susan, 10/7/2013 -
" I love Adam. I love his humor and his stories, but trying to read his book straight through is just too much. It's one of those books you should only read a chapter every other day. "
— Christy, 9/21/2013 -
" Hilarious book, if you don't mind raunchy, slightly offensive text. "
— Amanda, 6/7/2013 -
" Some of it was funny, some of it was whiney. Had a hard time getting over some of the racial and misogonystic jokes. "
— Will, 5/28/2013 -
" I think Adam Carolla is hilarious. In small doses. I did laugh out loud many times while reading this book. But a couple of times I had to put it down because he can just be too much. This was a quick, fun read and the first book I downloaded onto my Nook from the public library. "
— Connie, 3/23/2013 -
" Like a poorly edited stand up special. Still, funny. "
— Patrick, 2/23/2013 -
" Much of this book is funny. Some of it is even wise. That said I can't recommend anyone read this book. It does not stay on topic, it is not factual, and it is very profane. "
— Aaron, 1/20/2013 -
" Definitely a dick, but he makes some good points. "
— Rachelicorn, 11/21/2012 -
" Great times reading this book. His podcast is well worth checking out too. "
— Joe, 8/1/2012 -
" I have been reading this off and on for awhile. Enjoyable enough, but found some of the material tired and retread. Still a funny dude though. "
— Todd, 1/1/2012 -
" I did not finish it... Not my kind of book. "
— Tamara, 12/4/2011 -
" Adam goes from jaw-dropping offensive to very funny in the same paragraph. He makes some good points. This is a really easy, fast read. The ending is pretty weak. Still, I laughed enough to enjoy it overall. "
— Amie, 8/19/2011 -
" Some of it is hilarious, some of it spot-on, some of it over-the-top vulgar. "
— Josh, 7/24/2011 -
" Listen to the audio- you won't be sorry! He puts tons of extra stuff in the audio version... He can't help himself! Loveya, Adam!!! "
— Rachel, 6/28/2011 -
" One of the funniest books I've ever read "
— Will, 6/26/2011 -
" My sister borrowed my reader for her vacation so I took my husband's and found this book. It was decent. Some parts were a little raunchy and a bit surprising but overall it was funny. "
— Julianarioux, 6/22/2011 -
" Fun, but I grew tired of his humor by the end. "
— Brett, 6/20/2011 -
" If you like the podcast you will like the book! "
— Meat-wrap, 6/14/2011 -
" Enjoyed this book very much. It is also a book you can pick up and read a bit and put down since it is not one long story, but thoughts and ramblings. "
— Inga, 6/13/2011 -
" I just stareted this book so far it has been VERY funny, and gives you a good look inside of the life of Adam Carolla! "
— Michael, 6/9/2011 -
" While I obviously didn't agree with all his takes, there are some definitely funny lines that had me laughing pretty good at times. "
— Mike, 6/7/2011 -
" Couldn't do it. 3 chapters in and I was really turned off. "
— James, 6/6/2011 -
" I docked this book because of some of the athiest stuff that I don't agree with, but this is the funniest book I have ever read. "
— Tyler, 5/25/2011 -
" Adam Carolla is one of the smartest men of his generation, really. "
— Chris, 5/23/2011 -
" I've never agreed with anybody in government as much as I agree with Carolla. "
— Roger, 5/18/2011
About Adam Carolla
Adam Carolla is the author of the New York Times bestsellers In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks and Not Taco Bell Material, as well as a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. Carolla is well known as the cohost of the syndicated radio and MTV show Loveline and the co-creator and star of The Man Show and Crank Yankers. He currently hosts Catch a Contractor and The Adam Carolla Show, which is the Guinness World Record holder for most downloaded podcast.