I’ve been told to go to Hell more
times than I can count. But this time I’m actually going.
My name’s Bobby Dollar, sometimes known as Doloriel, and of
course, Hell isn’t a great place for someone like me—I’m an angel. They don’t
like my kind down there, not even the slightly fallen variety. But they have my
girlfriend, who happens to be a beautiful demon named Casimira, Countess of
Cold Hands. Why does an angel have a demon girlfriend? Well, certainly not
because it helps my career.
She’s being held hostage by one of the nastiest, most
powerful demons in all of the netherworld—Eligor, Grand Duke of Hell. He
already hates me, and he’d like nothing better than to get his hands on me and
rip my immortal soul right out of my borrowed but oh-so-mortal body.
But wait, it gets better! Not only do I have to sneak into
Hell, make my way across thousands of miles of terror and suffering to reach
Pan-demonium, capital of the fiery depths, but then I have to steal Caz right
out from under Eligor’s burning eyes and smuggle her out again, past demon
soldiers, hellhounds, and all the murderous creatures imprisoned there for
eternity. And even if I somehow manage to escape Hell, I’m also being stalked
by an undead psychopath named Smyler who’s been following me for weeks. Oh, and
did I mention that he can’t be killed?
So if I somehow survive Hell, elude the Grand Duke and all
his hideous minions and make it back to the real world, I’ll still be the most
hunted soul in Creation. But at least I’ll have Caz. Gotta have something to
look forward to, right?
So just pour me that damn drink, will you? I’ve got somewhere
to go. Download and start listening now!