From a leading clinical psychologist who has counseled couples and individuals for decades, a wise, radical, and optimistic approach to marriage that promises compatibility between an individual’s development and the often relentless demands of a relationship.
People today are trying to make their marriages work over longer lives than ever before—for their children’s health and well-being, and for their own. Indeed, among the college-educated, divorce rates have declined. But staying married isn’t always easy. In the brilliant, transformative, and optimistic The Rough Patch, clinical psychologist Daphne de Marneffe explores the extraordinary pushes and pulls of midlife marriage, where our need to develop as individuals can crash headlong into the demands of our relationships.
The Rough Patch is divided into chapters that address key problems that challenge marriages: money, alcohol and drugs, the stresses of parenthood, sex, extramarital affairs, lovesickness, health, aging, children leaving home, and dealing with elderly parents.
De Marneffe offers readers seasoned wisdom on these difficulties, addressing the psychological, emotional, and relational capacities we must cultivate to overcome them as individuals and as couples. Blending research, interviews, and clinical experience, and writing with uncommon insight into the daily behaviors of men and women, de Marneffe dives deep into the workings of love and the structures of relationships. Every reader will find himself or herself in these pages.
Intimate and sometimes gritty, The Rough Patch is an essential, compassionate resource for people trying to understand “where they are” on the continuum of marriage, giving them a chance to share in other people’s stories and struggles. With humor and deep seriousness, de Marneffe helps men and women understand themselves in order to move in the direction we’re all trying to go: a life lived with integrity, vitality, and love.
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“In this beautifully reasoned, highly personal, and very generous book of advice and analysis, Daphne de Marneffe proposes that the rough patch that occurs in most midlife relationships should be cherished. For those who can endure it, it can generate a new reciprocity, deepening the very intimacies it threatened to break. De Marneffe writes with poetry, wit, and compassion…Anyone in any relationship at any stage of life could stand to learn from the wisdom in these pages.”
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Andrew Solomon, National Book Award-winner and New York Times bestselling author