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Extended Audio Sample You Cant Drink All Day If You Dont Start in the Morning Audiobook, by Celia Rivenbark Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (1,242 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Celia Rivenbark Narrator: Celia Rivenbark Publisher: Macmillan Audio Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date: September 2009 ISBN: 9781427207814
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From the author of the bestselling classics We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as:

• Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate

• How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life

• Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering

• Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that?

• Get yer Wassail on: It's carolin' time

• Airlines serving up one hot mess

• Action figure Jesus

• Why Clay Aiken ain't marrying your glandular daughter

• And much more!

You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Mornin' is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.

Download and start listening now!

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Quotes & Awards

  • “Rivenbark's latest outing is a fantastic book that will keep you laughing at the minutiae of the world outside while giving you time to reflect on your own life. Book Reporter

  • ...one of those books that makes you laugh out loud and possibly even snort soda through your nose! Booking Mama

Listener Opinions

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Veralyn | 2/2/2014

    " I loved this book. It kept me laughing from beginning to end! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Ann Freeman | 1/28/2014

    " Light, whimsical, Southern humor. Somehow, I didn't find it quite as funny as the previous Celia Rivenbark books I read. Maybe because I was recovering from a back injury, and couldn't aprreciate the humor as much. The title comes from one joke told by one acquaintance in one story. Other than that, there's little focus on drinking. The humorous stories cover a variety of topics. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Judy Wyndham | 1/27/2014

    " This is a book that is well worth listening to on cd (read by the author). Celia Rivenbark is from a small North Carolina town close to my hometown. I related to far too many of her stories. Her language is a bit rough and nothing is off limits - she's willing to make fun of just about anything but I found some chapters were really funny. This isn't a thought provoking novel but strictly brain candy. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Roxanne B. | 1/26/2014

    " It's a bit thick on the southern humor, y'all* but includes some pretty good recipes that are easy to make... "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Betsy | 1/24/2014

    " I'm hooked! I'll take one of eveything she's written. Hubby and I travelled to Topsail Island, NC (her neck of the woods) and listened to this (read by the author) as we moseyed from place to place. We laughed out loud... constantly! She's funny on so many levels, it's not even funny. As soon as I post this, I'm logging into half.com to order more of these gems on audio. Wonder if I can pull a total groupie and find an author visit in my near vacinity. I'm willing to bet you I can! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Julie Ellis | 1/23/2014

    " Rivenbark is always lots of fun! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Moni Novak | 1/13/2014

    " it was okay. Funny in some parts. Very southern perspective. Easy beach read. Read in a couple hours. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Karen McIntosh | 1/11/2014

    " Given to me by my thoughtful friend, Carol. She thought I'd like it because it was my "humor" and she was so right! I loved it. I had to be careful about reading it before bed, otherwise I had to stifle my belly laughs while my husband lay sleeping beside me. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Megan | 1/10/2014

    " Very funny. I love audiobooks that are read by the author. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Jess | 1/5/2014

    " Funny! Great on a day you need a laugh. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Melissa | 12/29/2013

    " Many of these essays had me laughing out lout. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Erin Newton | 12/9/2013

    " Read all books by Celia Rivenbark, that is an order. All of these are laugh-out-loud hilarious! "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Brooke | 12/3/2013

    " Just giving this a 3 because it is not my kind of book! She is a funny writer though and I'm sure this will be well-liked by many! Think David Sedaris southern girl style. She is too crude for my taste...but most comedians are! Thanks for giving me a copy to read and review! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Kathyd | 11/23/2013

    " Laugh out loud funny!!! Laughed and laughed "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Starlita | 11/19/2013

    " I love some other her other books. Not sure if it's the topic... It was just ok this time around "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Mary | 11/18/2013

    " One ascerbic, caustic remark after another is not funny to me but toxic. ALthough I enjoyed her first chapter and laughed - a whole book of absolutely nothing but criticism was more than I could handle. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Jennette | 11/13/2013

    " I really liked this collection. Thought it was one of her best. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Deb | 9/10/2013

    " I so relate to the chapter about parents who send there kids to school sick and are thrilled when they get the perfect attendance award. She has some very Seinfeld kinds of ideas. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Marsha | 5/20/2013

    " Just finished reading this one! Once again, I'm laughing out loud throughout the book. Love her sense of humor! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Kiki | 3/24/2013

    " Readalicious! Such a fun, little treat!! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Esther Santos | 3/7/2013

    " very funny read. didn't know what to expect when i bought it, but i enjoyed it. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Amber | 10/5/2012

    " Not my favorite of her books but still pretty funny. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Allison | 8/30/2012

    " I think my expectations of this book were too high - mainly from the hysterical title. I so wanted to love this book, but only managed a few chuckles throughout it. It felt contrived to me. Maybe I'm just not southern enough! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Lynn | 8/22/2012

    " A nice light read for tax season. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Suzsmart | 7/16/2012

    " Did not care for this book - "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Jennie | 7/14/2012

    " Loved this book - Celia Rivenbark makes me laugh out loud! "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Trish | 10/17/2011

    " I thought this book pretty much sucked... It had a couple funny things in it, but just a collection of her columns, just random BS... "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Anne Lemieux | 9/17/2011

    " Hysterical, that is all I can say. I think it is better to listen to this one, the author's delivery is fantastic. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Debbie | 8/3/2011

    " Not as good as some of her other books I have read, but a quick amusing read. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Nicki | 6/24/2011

    " Really funny satire on the author's experiences growing up in a small North Carolina town. I loved her take on the southern small town. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Jess | 6/21/2011

    " Funny! Great on a day you need a laugh. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Madeline | 6/20/2011

    " Loved the title! It was a funny book but not a lol one like her others that I have read. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Lisa | 5/31/2011

    " I was very excited to kick off my summer with a hilarious chick lit read; however, the last time I laughed was the title. While the book was humorous, it was nothing new and nothing that made me laugh out loud. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Kathy | 5/25/2011

    " Very funny. Celia R. says what most of are thinking but too afraid to say! I had to get this book just because of it's title. I may look into her other books as well. This is an easy and fun read...great for vacation. Also, has some nice recipes in it. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Tara | 5/13/2011

    " Boring.
    Tried to be funny and witty, but it just wasn't.
    Overplayed the whole "this is how we do it in the South" thing.
    I didn't finish it. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Rosie | 5/12/2011

    " This author is hysterical! I have read all her other books but one--which I have in my to be read pile.
    Highly recommend for a funny fast read "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Jenee | 5/6/2011

    " This book was a nice departure from keeping up with a plot. It was funny but sometimes I found the Southern humor not to be truthfully Southern. I would consider reading her other books but I'm not dying to pick the next one up. It was just an alright read. Amusing but not a page-turner. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Peggie | 5/5/2011

    " You probably need to be from the South to appreciate some of this book, but Rivenbark is a funny writer. And I have heard many of the expressions she mentions. Guess that's why I'm moving back to the South. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Trish | 5/1/2011

    " I thought this book pretty much sucked... It had a couple funny things in it, but just a collection of her columns, just random BS... "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Lynn | 4/13/2011

    " A nice light read for tax season. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Karen | 4/7/2011

    " Hilarious in a southern twisted kinda way... "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Suzanne | 3/30/2011

    " I wasn't as crazy about this book as Rivenbark's others, but she gets 4 stars for the cat whisperer chapter. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Laura | 3/25/2011

    " I read this book because of the recommendation from my fav author Jen Lancaster. Another collection of funny essays but not all that funny. Would have given 2.5 stars if an option. "

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About the Author
Author Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark is the author of the award-winning bestsellers Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank; Bless Your Heart, Tramp; Belle Weather; and You Can’t Drink All Day if You Don’t Start in the Morning. We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier won a Southern Independent Booksellers Alliance (SIBA) Book Award for nonfiction and was a finalist for the James Thurber Prize for American Humor. She writes a weekly, nationally syndicated humor column for the Myrtle Beach Sun News. She lives in Wilmington, North Carolina.