Dear Your Majesty the Queen,
I need to speak to you urgently about my brother Luke. He's got cancer and the doctors in Australia are being really slack. If I could borrow your top doctor for a few days I know he/she would fix things up in no time. Of course Mum and Dad would pay his/her fares even if it meant selling the car or getting a loan. Please contact me at the above address urgently.
PS: This is not a hoax.
Ring the above number and Aunty Iris will tell you.
Hang up if a man answers.
If you want something done properly, Colin reckons, go straight to the top!
Morris Gleitzman is one of the world's best-loved children's authors. Two Weeks with the Queen deals with serious issues in a fun, accessible way. Download and start listening now!