"What do Angela Merkel, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Christine Lagarde, Oprah Winfrey, Sheryl Sandberg, JK Rowling and Beyoncé have in common?" was the headline in the English newspaper The Observer in 2014. "Other than riding high in Forbes list of the world’s most powerful women," journalist Tracy McVeigh wrote in answer to her own question, "they are also all firstborn children in their families. Firstborn children really do excel."
So what does it mean to be an eldest daughter?
Firstborns Lisette Schuitemaker and Wies Enthoven set out to discover the big five qualities that characterize all eldest daughters to some degree. Eldest daughters are responsible, dutiful, thoughtful, expeditious and caring. Firstborns are more intelligent than their siblings, more proficient verbally and more motivated to perform. Yet at the same time they seriously doubt that they are good enough. Being an eldest daughter can have certain advantages, but the overbearing sense of responsibility often gets in the way. Parents may worry about their ‘difficult’ eldest girl who wants to be perfect in everything she does whilst her siblings may not always understand her. "The Eldest Daughter Effect" shows how firstborn girls become who they are and offers insights that can give them more freedom to move. And parents will gain a better understanding of their firstborn children and can support them more fully on their way.
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Using the Grounded Theory research method, these authors set out to discover whatever they could about first born women. They ended up with five common traits (responsible, dutiful, hands on, thoughtful, and caring) shared by eldest daughters. Both eldest daughters themselves, they found that the insight gained from their discoveries was extremely helpful. They are sharing the paradigm which they developed from their research with readers, hoping that the information will prove useful to them as well. More than just broad strokes, Schuitemaker and Enthoven get down to the nitty gritty, covering topics like the 'Functional Eldest Daughter', the first four years, the danger of wanting to be perfect, unrealistically high expectations of the first born, effects of undivided attention, why eldest daughters tend to be smarter, 'Dethronement', 'Impostor Syndrome', the undervalued role of the father, and the inseparable connection to those the eldest grew up with. I am an eldest daughter and I found this book to be both enlightening and liberating. Written as much for siblings of the eldest as for the eldest themselves, this is a highly detailed analysis of this particular family dynamic. It offers exercises so the reader can self-evaluate in order to apply the information to themselves. Clearly written and relevant, it’s a valuable resource for parents as well as adult eldest daughters and their confused siblings."
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