Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters Audiobook, by Mallory Ortberg Play Audiobook Sample

Download Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters Audiobook

Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters Audiobook, by Mallory Ortberg Play Audiobook Sample
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Author: Mallory Ortberg Narrator: Amy Landon, Zach Villa Publisher: Tantor Audio Length: Release Date: January 2015 Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download ISBN: 9781494578954

Publisher Description

Mallory Ortberg, cocreator of the cult-favorite Web site The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters.

Everyone knows that if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she'd constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she'd text you to pick her up after she totaled her car.

Based on the popular Web feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mash-up that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.

Download and start listening now!


  • “I ate it like it was candy coated in crack cocaine, it’s the best, and I need to give it to everyone.”

    - Elizabeth Gilbert, New York Times bestselling author of The Signature of All Things
  • This is the best kind of English-major humor. There's not a weak point in the book; it's terrific, snicker-inducing fun throughout.

    - Library Journal Starred Review
  • “Ortberg finds a way of lampooning the ridiculous characters of the past thanks to her endless knowledge of and passion for western literature and history and her sharp humor.”

    - BUST magazine
  • “What if the greatest characters in literary history all carried around smartphones and typed out messages to each other?…[A] highbrow yet subversive sensibility.”

    - NPR
  • “Each [text conversation] brings a contemporary sensibility to timeless publications of yore. Be prepared to LOL—literally.”

    - Los Angeles Magazine
  • “This makes me laugh…Cliff’s Notes seem so wordy now, don’t they?”

    - Houston Chronicle
  • "[A] splendid and wry work of humor writing…Texts from Jane Eyre is to literary culture what The Daily Show is to politics: both use satire to expose the contradictions and absurdity enabling powerful figures.”

    - Los Angeles Review of Books
  • “This is the best kind of English-major humor. There’s not a weak point in the book; it’s terrific, snicker-inducing fun throughout.”

    - Library Journal (starred review)
  • “Humorist Ortberg offers a side-splitting take on famous literary characters from Gilgamesh to Hermione Granger by peeking into their imagined text messages, replete with emoticons, misspellings, and irregular punctuation.”

    - Publishers Weekly
  • “For those who wonder how famous literary characters would text each other, author Mallory Ortberg and narrators Zach Villa and Amy Landon address that curiosity with their fanciful conceit. From Lord Byron to Nancy Drew, Villa and Landon deliver textual banter, bringing out the humorous and the ludicrous in every exchange. What listeners lose in emoticons and acronyms, they gain in verbal irony and other vocal techniques the narrators employ in their performance.”

    - AudioFile

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About the Author

Mallory Ortberg is cocreator of the Toast, a general-interest website geared toward women. She has also written for Gawker, the Hairpin, New York magazine, and the Atlantic. She lives in the Bay Area.

About the Narrators

Amy Landon, Earphones Award–winning narrator, is a voice artist and classically trained actress with numerous film, television, and off-Broadway stage credits. Her voice can also be heard on many television and radio commercials. She has an easy facility with dialects, which she also coaches and teaches, and she is happy to find her lifelong obsession with books pairing up with her acting and vocal work. Her narration of Texts from Jane Eyre placed as a finalist for the Audie Award for Best Humor Narration in 2016.

Zach Villa is a stage, film, and television performer. Classically trained in acting, Villa’s audiobook work includes The World without You by Joshua Henkin and Butterfly Winter by W. P. Kinsella.