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Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man: A Memoir Audiobook
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(3.01) - 1,413 listener ratings
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Publisher Description
Bill Clegg had a thriving business as a literary agent, a supportive partner, trusting colleagues, and loving friends when he walked away from his world and embarked on a two-month crack binge. He had been released from rehab nine months earlier, and his relapse would cost him his home, his money, his career, and very nearly his life.
What is it that leads an exceptional young mind want to disappear? Clegg makes stunningly clear the attraction of the drug that had him in its thrall, capturing in scene after scene the drama, tension, and paranoiac nightmare of a secret life -- and the exhilarating bliss that came again and again until it was eclipsed almost entirely by doom. He also explores the shape of addiction, how its pattern -- not its cause -- can be traced to the past.
Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man is an utterly compelling narrative -- lyrical, irresistible, harsh, honest, and beautifully written -- from which you simply cannot look away.
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"Golden boy gone wrong in NYC. This was a great story told in the first person about endless crack binges all over NYC over a three year period. A true testament to an addict having to hit rock bottom and come to terms on their own. The amount of vodka, crack and money spent are staggering (I think he spent like $70K or something over the 3 years)he holes up in all sorts of places such as $500 + per night Hotel Gavensvort to full on crack dens. I barely blinked while reading this (not from speed)its that addicting. He suffers from severe feelings of inadequacy even though hes been super successful and has a great life (pre drugs)."
— Jennifer (4 out of 5 stars)
Quotes
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“Bill Clegg’s Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man stand up to Frederick Exley’s great memoir of alcoholism, A Fan’s Notes…But really, forget comparisons. Read the book.”
— Michael Cunningham, Pulitzer Prize–winning author of The Hours -
“It’s a remarkable achievement when a writer can evoke the most desperate episodes of addiction with the unflinching honesty required to make such a memoir worth reading, yet somehow manage to completely transcend sleaze, sordidness, and vapid self-justification. Bill Clegg’s story of a man—largely locked in hotel rooms, engaged in a desperate, heart-wrenching battle with himself—is destined to become a cult classic of writing on drug addiction.”
— Irvine Welsh, author of Trainspotting -
“Mesmerizing…Reading it is like letting the needle down on a Nick Drake album. Clegg tells his story in short, atmospheric paragraphs, each separated by white space, each its own strobe-lighted snapshot of decadent poetic memory…Among the reasons to stick with Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man is the lightly narcotized sensorium of Mr. Clegg’s prose…He can write.”
— New York Times -
“A book that will not soon be forgotten…The narrative has a floating quality that manages to be at once brutally specific and oddly poetic…Clegg’s descent is a skillfully conjured, slow-motion wreck from which it’s impossible to look away. His handling of time, especially wasted time, has an undulating, telescoping quality…That Clegg survived and is well enough to write a book this good is incredible.”
— Globe and Mail (Toronto) -
“It turns out there is room on the shelf for one more addiction memoir…Clegg spares no one’s feelings, least of all his own; it’s not the brutality that makes this worthwhile but rather the strange beauty of the stream-of-consciousness prose. We’re voyeurs, as helpless to stop the carnage as the author himself.”
— GQ -
“A heartbreaking and completely absorbing look at the wreckage of cocaine addiction.”
— Booklist -
Bill Clegg's Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man stands up to Frederick Exley's great memoir of alcoholism, A Fan's Notes . . . . But really, forget comparisons. Read the book."
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—Michael Cunningham, author of The Hours
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Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man is an instant classic. Anybody who knows anything about addiction will feel morally altered by this book. To an extraordinary degree, it has both beauty and truth. It goes beyond its own revelations to become a book for everybody, a work of art. I suppose we live for the magic of these things.
— Andrew O'Hagan, author of Be Near Me, Winner of the Los Angeles Times Prize for Fiction, 2008 -
Bill Clegg's memoir is a startling, hair-raising, and compulsively readable account of one man's descent into the hell of addiction. That Clegg lived to tell his story is amazing. That he has captured the details of his experience with such beauty is even more so. Unforgettable.
— Danielle Trussoni, author of the memoir Falling Through the Earth, named one of the Ten Best Books of 2006 by the New York Times -
It's a remarkable achievement when a writer can evoke the most desperate episodes of addiction with the unflinching honesty required to make such a memoir worth reading, yet somehow manage to completely transcend sleaze, sordidness, and vapid self-justification. Bill Clegg's story of a man-largely locked in hotel rooms, engaged in a desperate, heart-wrenching battle with himself--is destined to become a cult classic of writing on drug addiction.
— Irvine Welsh, author of Trainspotting -
I devoured Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man, couldn't put it down. The writing throughout is beautiful, and all the while it is reportorial and efficient and honest--a rare combination of feats!
— Elinor Lipman, author of Then She Found Me and, most recently, The Family Man
Awards
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A New York Times bestseller
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A Los Angeles Times bestseller
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A New York Times Editor’s Choice
Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man Listener Reviews
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" Probably more of a 2.5. I thought it was surprisingly well written for the most part. One stylistic choice that drove me nuts though, was his decision to write about himself in the 3rd person as a child. I also didn't find the actual story that compelling. I thought the book focused too much on his (hopefully) last bender, which basically just involved checking into different fancy hotels, getting high, and having sex with strangers--not all that interesting after a few pages--and doesn't make you care about the narrator, since we only see him behaving deplorably to everyone around him. "
— Kathryn, 2/15/2014 -
" Not necessarily original, but riveting nevertheless. Clegg's story of his descent into addiction is harrowing and compelling and it is also really heartening to see that his friends and family stood by him and helped him pull his life together in the aftermath. "
— Eve, 2/5/2014 -
" At first I was unhappy with how he would jump from childhood to his current high to college to another high to childhood etc, flipping between tenses. But really, it makes the book into two stories that don't exactly intertwine...and I'm certain my diaries look the same way. "
— Jenny, 2/4/2014 -
" Great self destruction narrative. Clegg is a talented writer. His early childhood sections are kind of a drag however and it's a little short for my tastes. "
— Lerd, 2/4/2014 -
" All the press is true--a fantastic memoir by someone living for years on the brink between madness and sanity, health and death. What I liked best about this book was its intensity in describing the power of addiction. This book is less concerned with the recovery process and the life after an addiction ends. Bill Clegg also makes the reader work to draw her own conclusions, make her own connections as to how the author ended up where he did. Very compelling reading. "
— Esme, 1/21/2014 -
" This quick read is the engaging story of a young man's crack addiction while in his 20's. I found it hard to put down, and ultimately very sad. Clegg is an Ivy League grad who finds himself sucked into the whirlpool of addiction, nearly unwilling to rejoin the real world, despite the love and understanding of his family and longtime partner Noah. It certainly clashes with the stereotype of the inner city crack addicts so pervasive in the media. "
— alexandra, 1/20/2014 -
" Well I don't really like memoirs, but I've read a number of them and this one is no different. Like many of the addiction memoirs written since the early 90s, it's written in the present tense, with nonlinear chapters switching between first and third person. The writing is clear and compelling enough but not particularly deep or critical. The title says it all: it's a portrait of an addict, not of an addict's recovery. It's a sort of depressing picaresque, reminding me of one of the problems that can come with episodic narrative: repetition without change or insight. The author doesn't get sober until the last few pages of the book, and I genuinely wonder about the 200 pages of drugalogue before that. Is it narratively necessary to see so many scenes of the author using? There's very little character development, ultimately, so I don't care at the end that the author is maybe getting clean for real this time. I guess I kept reading it because I'm still curious about people with unlimited wealth and privilege. Why am I still curious about this? I wish I wasn't. I blame capitalism. "
— Andrea, 1/13/2014 -
" Very powerful book on the consequences of addiction. "
— Jcrane1095, 12/8/2013 -
" This book was very difficult to digest due to the honesty. It was well written but uncomfortable to read. "
— Amanda, 11/3/2013 -
" Fabulous "what's going on inside his head" account of a spiral down into the depths of addiction. Recommended reading for anyone who loves or has loved an addict. "
— Cathleen, 10/23/2013 -
" Start this book when you have free time ahead of you, because once you start, you won't want to stop. You could even say the book itself is addicting. Heh. "
— Elizabeth, 10/23/2013 -
" Anna says: It's very hard to make crack addiction sound both life-alteringly horrible and funny, but Bill Clegg pulls it off. I loved this book for what it was. It's certainly not going to change my life, but it was an entertaining read. "
— Katy, 8/5/2013 -
" At times difficult to read because of its raw edges and ruthless honesty. He takes you right into the beating heart and mind of an addict, letting you live vicariously as he experienced it. "
— Kate, 3/15/2013 -
" A brutal inside view into the life of an addict. "
— April, 12/31/2012 -
" It is a little embarrassing but I am a fan of the drug/alcohol/general dysfunctional life memoir. This one was OK but really didn't do much for me - it definitely was no Beautiful Boy or even Basketball Diaries. Still, the author was brave to share his story and portray himself so honestly. "
— Tara, 12/22/2012 -
" It was a fast read, books about addiction always are for me, it's like once i start reading one, i just can't stop... He almost goes at the writing of it from a different angle. Almost. Which would have been nice. "
— Rachel, 5/11/2012 -
" I guess it's difficult to say anything new when your writing an addiction story. Also, I understand that the main purpose for the writer is not literature, but getting it out there. For the reader, it's voyeurism. In this sense, the book fulfilled expectations. Crack is indeed nasty nasty stuff. "
— Anna, 5/9/2012 -
" This was gritty. Very dark but I could not put it down and finished it in a couple days of a very busy weekend. "
— Jennifer, 1/24/2012 -
" Nearly unreadable-- it might better have been entitled Portrait of Poor Little Rich Boy as an Addict with Too Many Enabling "Friends" In the Coolest Parts of Manhattan Including an Apartment in One Fifth Avenue. The meltdown at the airport was well done, though. "
— John, 10/26/2011 -
" I thought this book was one of the most moving memoirs I've ever read. I will forever remember the ending, and the feeling of falling. "
— Chantelle, 6/27/2011 -
" Very sad and disturbing. Really hope he is able to stay clean! "
— Kristen, 6/22/2011 -
" It was a fast read, books about addiction always are for me, it's like once i start reading one, i just can't stop... He almost goes at the writing of it from a different angle. Almost. Which would have been nice. "
— Rachel, 6/20/2011 -
" Not terribly original - the addiction memoir is pretty well-trod ground at this point - but good writing made for an engaging read. "
— Melissa, 6/5/2011 -
" Anna says: It's very hard to make crack addiction sound both life-alteringly horrible and funny, but Bill Clegg pulls it off. I loved this book for what it was. It's certainly not going to change my life, but it was an entertaining read. "
— Katy, 4/13/2011 -
" Did I get this from you? <br/>Really well written and very moving. "
— A, 4/8/2011 -
" Interesting and painful read about crack addiction! Excellent for a first time author. He is a gay man with a long-suffering boyfriend, who easily could have kicked him to the curb a long time ago... Recommended! "
— Desiree, 3/23/2011 -
" An easy read. You to can publish a book and make lots of money if you screw your life up badly enough and then recover. Makes me feel like I got my shit together. "
— Nate, 3/16/2011 -
" wow - read this in almost one sitting. As the mother of three boys I found it terrifying.... how would I cope with such hopelessness and self destruction in someone I love? But it is never hopeless, and I found myself rooting for Bill Clegg, as I still am today. "
— Sarah, 1/17/2011
About Bill Clegg
Bill Clegg is a literary agent in New York. He is the author of Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man, and Ninety Days: A Memoir of Recovery. He graduated from Washington College in Chestertown, Maryland.
About Bill Clegg
Joshua Ferris is the author of three previous novels, Then We Came to the End, The Unnamed, and To Rise Again at a Decent Hour and a collection of stories, The Dinner Party. He was a finalist for the National Book Award, winner of the Barnes and Noble Discover Award and the PEN/Hemingway Award, and was named one of the New Yorker's “20 Under 40” writers in 2010. To Rise Again at a Decent Hour won the Dylan Thomas Prize and was shortlisted for the Booker Prize. His short stories have appeared in the New Yorker, Granta, and Best American Short Stories. He lives in New York.