A fiery, heartbreaking, riveting memoir that follows one New Hampshire family over the course of three years, unspooling a story of gender identity, class, trans youth, and a child caught in the riptide of America’s culture wars
Abi Maxwell grew up in rural New Hampshire, one of eight kids in a poor town abutting a wealthier lakeside village. As a young couple, Maxwell and her husband planned not to have kids, but when Maxwell became pregnant, she knew she wanted to raise her child near the mountains and lake of her youth. When her six-year-old, who was known to the world as a boy, asks to wear pink sneakers, asks to be a witch for Halloween, asks to wear a girl’s dance costume, Abi worries about how their small community will react. But when that child changes her name, grows her hair long, and announces that she is a girl, a firestorm engulfs the family.
Weaving together the story of her own youth, marked by long afternoons skiing the mountains, a cottage on the lake, and a proud gay brother, but also by neglect and bullying that pushed her brother to the brink, Abi Maxwell contends with the rural America where she was raised and, years later, where she is now raising her daughter, as lawmakers nationwide push to erase the very existence of trans youth. Intimate and stirring, this book is essential reading for this moment in our history.
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This book is a compelling and visceral portrayal of a mother’s pain, joy, hope, and heartbreak as she fights for her daughter’s right to safely be herself. As a parent of a transgender child and as an advocate, I am deeply grateful for Abi Maxwell’s vulnerability and honesty in sharing what too many families across the country are facing in these turbulent times. I can only hope readers allow themselves to be transformed by the humanity laid bare in these pages for the sake of generations to come.
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Jamie Bruesehoff, author of Raising Kids Beyond the Binary