When I envisioned the life that I wanted for myself, I pictured myself sitting in a rocking chair in the nursery me and my husband had spent months designing. I pictured looking down at a baby that resembled the both of us, and thanking God that he chose me to be their mother.My reality was that I was staring down at another negative pregnancy test and realizing the possibility that I had failed another cycle of IVF, alone.There was no husband here to comfort me, or a nursery that I could sit and sob in. Each time that one line appeared, a small piece of me always died inside. It was like the plastic test was determining my future. My fate. Letting me know I wasn’t worthy of giving life. Becoming the one thing I had always wanted to become: a mother.After taking this failed pregnancy test, I had to tie my scrubs, plaster a smile on my face and go out there and care for my patients. So, when someone smiled and asked me the dreaded question … How are you? I always smiled, though dying on the inside, and responded with, Never better … thanks.
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Jahquel J. has been writing since 2014 with a bunch of books under her belt and is best known for her Homies, Lovers + Friends series, and the Staten Island Love Letter series.
Shari Peele is an audiobook narrator whose readings include In the Doctor’s Bed by Brenda Jackson, Man Enough for Me by Rhonda Bowen, When I Get Where I’m Going by Cheryl Robinson, and Give Me Fever by Niobia Bryant.
James Fouhey is an actor and narrator living in New York City. He received classical training at Boston University and the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts. He has recorded more than forty audiobooks across a variety of genres, including science fiction, romance, young adult fiction, and children’s fiction.