Download I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting Audiobook

I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting Audiobook, by Karen Alpert Extended Sample Click for printable size audiobook cover
Author: Karen Alpert Narrator: Karen Alpert Publisher: HarperAudio Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date: April 2014 ISBN: 9780062343147
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Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog.

Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole.

When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing.

In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

Download and start listening now!

bawx

Quotes & Awards

  • “Crass, inappropriate, and absolutely hysterical. In other words, absolutely everything you could want in a parenting book and more.”

    Jill Smokler, New York Times bestselling author of Confessions of a Scary Mommy

  • “Beware of Mom: she bites. Karen is crass and abrasive and makes no apologies, nor should she. Her take on family life is funny, filthy, and familiar, but only if you are a raging realist with little tolerance for the bullshitical utterances from delusional, or simply overmedicated, mommies at playgroup. Reading her stories will make you laugh so hard your genitals will probably fall off and your head will explode.”

    Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink and Swear

  • A New York Times bestseller

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About the Author

Karen Alpert is the ridiculously hairy, self-deprecating writer of the blog Baby Sideburns. She has spent the past fifteen years working for national advertising agencies until she was promoted to her newest favorite job: mommy. She lives with her two amazing kiddos and a very forgiving husband.