Far from the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity is the autobiography by National Book Award winner and Pulitzer Prize nominee Andrew Solomon.
A lucid and truly creative mind, Solomon's path started with his experiences of being gay in a straight family. He didn't know how other parents could provide for their kids who have a number of marks that make them different: a family of deaf kids, dwarves, Down-syndrome, autistic, schizophrenic, and other severely disabled, those who are a prodigy, who commit a crime, and who are transgender too. This begins with his experience as a son, and ends with his journey as a dad, but throughout it tries to unravel how despite our differences, we aren't so unlike our parents, or others half way across the globe.
Many find this book remarkably brave in the questions it asks and in the answers it hopes to uncover.
Divided into twelve poignant sections, Solomon relates the stories of people who are victimized in tragic ways because of the world's prejudices, but he also tells the readers about the families who surround their kids with love despite those differences and who try to alter the world-view of being different with difficult circumstances. He eloquently, humbly, and lovingly speaks for the folks who have no voice in this world. This moving angle that he shows us about a serious social issue provides a conclusion that can stretch to any family or cultural view and will help academics and politicians as well as the commoner to address the issue of illness and self-identity.
Solomon, born in 1963, writes on numerous socio-political-cultural issues.
"Wow. An epic (900+pages) review of many ways in which children can indeed fall far from the tree, requiring parents to dig much deeper to figure out how to parent them. Each chapter focuses on a different way in which children can be substantially different from their parents, either physically or psychologically. The chapters are riddled with interesting case studies from Solomon's hundreds of interviews, plus a lot of background info on the particular difference that chapter features. But the point of it all is to explore how parents try (or in some cases don't) to rise to the occasion of being the best parent possible to someone whose experience of life is beyond their own."
— Marcia (4 out of 5 stars)
Winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award, a Books for a Better Life Award, and one of The New York Times Book Review’s Ten Best Books of 2012, this masterpiece by the National Book Award–winning author of The Noonday Demon features stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children, but also find profound meaning in doing so—“a brave, beautiful book that will expand your humanity” (People).
Solomon’s startling proposition in Far from the Tree is that being exceptional is at the core of the human condition—that difference is what unites us. He writes about families coping with deafness, dwarfism, Down syndrome, autism, schizophrenia, or multiple severe disabilities; with children who are prodigies, who are conceived in rape, who become criminals, who are transgender. While each of these characteristics is potentially isolating, the experience of difference within families is universal, and Solomon documents triumphs of love over prejudice in every chapter.
All parenting turns on a crucial question: to what extent should parents accept their children for who they are, and to what extent they should help them become their best selves. Drawing on ten years of research and interviews with more than three hundred families, Solomon mines the eloquence of ordinary people facing extreme challenges.
Elegantly reported by a spectacularly original and compassionate thinker, Far from the Tree explores how people who love each other must struggle to accept each other—a theme in every family’s life.
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“In Far from the Tree, Andrew Solomon reminds us that nothing is more powerful in a child’s development than the love of a parent. This remarkable new book introduces us to mothers and fathers across America—many in circumstances the rest of us can hardly imagine—who are making their children feel special, no matter what challenges come their way.”
— Bill Clinton“This is one of the most extraordinary books I have read in recent times—brave, compassionate, and astonishingly humane. Solomon approaches one of the oldest questions—how much are we defined by nature versus nurture?—and crafts from it a gripping narrative. Through his stories, told with such masterful delicacy and lucidity, we learn how different we all are, and how achingly similar. I could not put this book down.”
— Siddhartha Mukherjee, Pulitzer Prize–winning author of The Emperor of All Maladies“Far-reaching, original, fascinating—Andrew Solomon’s investigation of many of the most intense challenges that parenthood can bring compels us all to reexamine how we understand human difference. Perhaps the greatest gift of this monumental book, full of facts and full of feelings, is that it constantly makes one think, and think again.”
— Philip Gourevitch, National Book Critics Circle Award–winning author of We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with Our Families“Andrew Solomon has written a brave and ambitious work, bringing together science, culture and a powerful empathy. Solomon tells us that we have more in common with each other—even with those who seem anything but normal—than we would ever have imagined.”
— Malcolm Gladwell, #1 New York Times bestselling author“Far from the Tree is a landmark, revolutionary book. It frames an area of inquiry—difference between parents and children—that many of us have experienced in our own lives without ever considering it as a phenomenon. Andrew Solomon plumbs his topic thoroughly, humanely, and in a compulsively readable style that makes the book as entertaining as it is illuminating.”
— Jennifer Egan, Pulitzer Prize–winning author of A Visit from the Goon Squad“Solomon, a highly original student of human behavior, has written an intellectual history that lays the foundation for a twenty-first century Psychological Bill of Rights. In addition to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness on the basis of race and religion, this Bill extends inalienable rights of psychological acceptance to people on the basis of their identity. He provides us with an unrivalled educational experience about identity groups in our society, an experience that is filled with insight, empathy, and intelligence. We also discover the redefining, self-restructuring nature that caring for a child produces in parents, no matter how unusual or disabled the child is. Reading Far from the Tree is a mind-opening experience.”
— Eric Kandel, author of The Age of Insight and winner of the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine“Far from the Tree is fundamentally about the bonds and burdens of family, and it’s a huge valentine to those who embrace the challenge of raising children who are in some way not what they had hoped for.”
— Elle“Profoundly moving…Solomon’s own trials of feeling marginalized as gay, dyslexic, and depressive, while still yearning to be a father, frame these affectingly rendered real tales about bravely playing the cards one’s dealt.”
— Publishers Weekly (starred review)“Years of interviews with families and their unique children culminate in this compassionate compendium…The truth Solomon writes about here is as poignant as it is implacable, and he leaves us with a reinvented notion of identity and individual value.”
— Booklist (starred review)“An informative and moving book that raises profound issues regarding the nature of love, the value of human life, and the future of humanity.”
— Kirkus Reviews (starred review)“Ruminative, personal, and reportorial all at once.”
— Amazon.com, editorial review" Well it is apparent that I will never actually read this whole book because it is VERY long. It is an interesting idea though and I did enjoy the first few chapters. "
— Trista, 1/29/2014" Excellent, excellent, excellent! Truly deserving of every praise that it has gotten. "
— Stephanie, 1/24/2014" Life-changing, perspective-altering, better-person-making. This book is a gift. "
— Amy, 1/23/2014" The writing of this book is an unbelievable accomplishment. The author has done a deep study on many ways a person may exist, whether it was genetic or an environmental affliction, that differs from what is considered normal and what a parent might expect their child to be like. Depending on the topic and how it has impacted my life, I found some studies much more to my liking than others. The chapters covered autistic, deaf, dwarfs, transgender and other states of being. Such topics as genetic designer children and do we want a child like ourself, even if we are born with what is considered a disability, are questions that we all should find of interest. "
— Marge, 1/3/2014" This book was just all over the place. It lacked focus and a unifying "theme". It started out with a strong premise, but that premise was lost as the chapters unfolded. I did find the case studies interesting from a psychological/medical perspective, but I feel that the author tried to put too much of his years of research and interviews in the book and ended up with a big mess. I was really expecting some wonderful "out of the box" thinking about identity and diversity, but sadly all I really got was a "hot mess." 2 stars - It was OK (and only because of the case studies. 1 star if I'm rating it based on what the book purports to deliver). "
— Pam, 12/30/2013" Wow -- total masterpiece. Brilliant and thoughtful, if overwhelming in scope. "
— Laura, 12/25/2013" Thought-provoking and sometimes heart-rending. It makes a person wonder: "how would I handle this situation?" and "what makes a family?" "
— Jean, 12/14/2013" A really interesting read. The depth of information and experiences is immense. I was really struck by the common feelings and thought concepts among the families profiled even though their experiences are so varied. "
— Elisabeth, 11/26/2013" Fascinating and terrifying. What is important: perfection, diversity, health, quality of life and what does that mean? What we choose from the list above makes us a certain person but also unable to make those choices unless faced with the experiences such as those described in this amazing tome. "
— Catherine, 11/19/2013" Excellent read. I highly recommend this book and thought the last chapter was a perfect summary of true parental feelings. "
— Amy, 11/12/2013" By no means a quick read, but one of the most compelling books I have ever read. "
— MaryLiz, 11/2/2013" So glad to be done with this one. Couldn't the author have said this in a more compact way? "
— Karen, 7/14/2013" A brilliantly written book that presents identities in a very, very interesting manner. Very informative and I believe this book truly enlightened my already tolerant and compassionate heart. "
— Cori, 7/10/2013" A must-read for anyone who wants to understand what it means to have a special child - disability or superability. Well researched, well written - an important book. "
— Lenore, 6/15/2013" Would have given it 5 stars if it weren't so bloody long! A fascinating, compelling, touching read. "
— Elizabeth, 3/30/2013" A big book that deals with social views, family, unconditional love, and "what is normal". Loved it! Somewhat textbook like, but filled with personal stories...reads fast. "
— Heather, 3/14/2013" The premise of this book was interesting, but the execution didn't deliver. "
— Erin, 12/28/2012Andrew Solomon is the New York Times bestselling author of Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and
the Search for Identity, and The
Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, which was a Pulitzer Prize finalist
and winner of fourteen national awards, including the National Book Award. He
is a lecturer in psychiatry at Cornell University and special advisor on LGBT
affairs to the Yale School of Medicine’s department of psychiatry.