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Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar Audiobook
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Kelly Oxford is . . .
A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds
Not the queen of the world
An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher
The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush
A born salesman
Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20
That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time
Totally an expert on strep throat
Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend
A writer
A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes
"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." —Bea, age four
Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket
"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." —Roger Ebert
Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon
A terrible liar
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“Kelly Oxford is the friend we all deserve–the one who tells us the best secrets, takes us on all the finest adventures, and remembers every hilariously embarrassing detail. Everything Is Perfect is sharply funny, and truly great.”
— Cameron Crowe
Quotes
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“Kelly Oxford is like your cool babysitter who teaches you about sex and sarcasm in an un-creepy way. Hanging out with her book makes you wish your parents were always out to dinner.”
— Lena Dunham -
“Kelly Oxford is a refreshing rarity in a sea of Hollywood suck-ups. She’s hilarious, hot, and the most truthful liar I’ve ever encountered.”
— Diablo Cody
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About Kelly Oxford
Kelly Oxford started writing at five years old when she penciled “I had a baby” into her Hello Kitty diary, and she hasn’t stopped since. She now writes words that companies like Warner Bros., CBS, and NBC have bought for film and television and magazines like GQ have published.