Turn common adolescent missteps, from relationship blunders to rebellions that backfire, into character-building moments—by the author of Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen. “This clear-eyed, practical, fun-to-read guide is an essential read for every parent.”—Lisa Damour, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers Every child messes up, sometimes in ways that seem sure to wreck their futures: a bad report card, poor sportsmanship, underaged drinking. These are tough moments for parent and child alike, often complicated by the fear that the misstep is also an indictment of our parenting. But what each of these “fails” has in common for our kids is the precious silver lining of a chance for character building and developing more grit—if we help them process their mistake well. An invaluable playbook for anxious parents everywhere, Eight Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success offers specific and unexpected advice about what to say, what not to say, and what to do to help children in eight categories of tense situations. Distilled from Michelle Icard’s decades of experience working with tweens, teenagers, and families, it also introduces her signature three-step approach to any kind of failure: • Contain: Affirm your child, gather the facts, and control the narrative. • Resolve: Explain what went wrong, define clear consequences, teach them to apologize well, and develop a plan to rebuild trust. • Evolve: Reaffirm and re-expand their rights, and establish rewards for good behaviors. With empathy, insight, and optimism, Michelle Icard’s advice ensures that a child’s mistake or rebellion doesn’t become the headline of their childhood, but instead becomes a launch pad to a better future.
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Michelle Icard launched Athena’s Path, a curriculum that helps girls navigate the tricky middle school social scene in 2004. Shortly after, she added Hero’s Pursuit for boys, and in 2011 launched her website about how to parent middle school children. Athena’s Path and Hero’s Pursuit have been implemented in thirty schools, in five states, and have impacted over ten thousand students. Michelle is often a guest speaker at schools and parenting events, and she hosts Right in the Middle, a conference for girls headed to middle school and their moms. Michelle also runs Moms Meet Up, a parent conversation and support group for parents of middle school children, and provides private coaching for parents and teens. Michelle has written curriculum for other national programs for adolescents, including Girlology and Girls Rock the House. In addition to her own blog, Michelle writes for Your Teen Magazine, The Karina Chronicles, and Charlotte Smarty Pants. She is the mother of a thirteen-year-old daughter and an eleven-year-old son.