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Crooked Little Vein: A Novel Audiobook, by Warren Ellis Play Audiobook Sample

Crooked Little Vein: A Novel Audiobook

Crooked Little Vein: A Novel Audiobook, by Warren Ellis Play Audiobook Sample
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Read By: Todd McLaren Publisher: Tantor Listen Time: at 1.0x Speed 3.50 hours at 1.5x Speed 2.63 hours at 2.0x Speed Release Date: November 2007 Format: Unabridged Audiobook ISBN: 9781400175611

Quick Stats About this Audiobook

Total Audiobook Chapters:

57

Longest Chapter Length:

25:42 minutes

Shortest Chapter Length:

06 seconds

Average Chapter Length:

05:33 minutes

Audiobooks by this Author:

4

Other Audiobooks Written by Warren Ellis: > View All...

Publisher Description

Michael McGill is a burned-out private detective who suddenly becomes enlisted by an army of presidential goons to retrieve the Constitution of the United States, but not the one we all know about. This would be the real Constitution (the one with invisible amendments) created by some of the Founding Fathers as a fallback for their great experiment. Along the way, McGill gains a polyamorous sidekick named Trix, gets scared to death by what men do with warm salty water, and descends into a world where crime, sex, and madness all seem to be the same thing.

Full of mind-bending style and packed with a wild cast of characters, Crooked Little Vein infuses Robert B. Parker with Kurt Vonnegut and the madness of the graphic novel world. A surprisingly surreal treat, it will appeal to hardcore comic fans, mystery aficionados, and anybody looking for a riotous adventure.

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"One of the funniest (and foulest) books that I've ever read, & holds up well on re-reading. Mike is a down-on-his-luck detective who attracts bizarre clients and even more bizarre cases. He's approached by a powerful politician and asked to track down a missing book: an alternate US Constitution. Things quickly go awry in the most horrifying and hilarious way possible."

— Peggy (4 out of 5 stars)

Quotes

  • “[A] brilliantly nasty and weird detective novel.”

    — Entertainment Weekly 
  • Even the more exotic characters of the novel [are] provided a quality and realistic voice that adds a deeper level of insanity to the individuals and the novel.

    — Publishers Weekly Starred Audio Review
  • “A heart-shredding work of scatological brilliance that gleefully annihilates private-eye tropes and pole-vaults over taste lines.”

    — Los Angeles Times Book Review
  • “A book readers will not soon forget.”

    — Chicago Tribune
  • “Completely compulsive, impossible to put down.”

    — Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  • “If you’re looking for an antidote to the stifling formula of genre fiction, this could be your book.”

    — New York magazine
  • “Even the more exotic characters of the novel [are] provided a quality and realistic voice that adds a deeper level of insanity to the individuals and the novel.”

    — Publishers Weekly, (starred review)

Crooked Little Vein Listener Reviews

Overall Performance: 3.576923076923077 out of 53.576923076923077 out of 53.576923076923077 out of 53.576923076923077 out of 53.576923076923077 out of 5 (3.58)
5 Stars: 5
4 Stars: 10
3 Stars: 8
2 Stars: 1
1 Stars: 2
Narration: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 (0.00)
5 Stars: 0
4 Stars: 0
3 Stars: 0
2 Stars: 0
1 Stars: 0
Story: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 (0.00)
5 Stars: 0
4 Stars: 0
3 Stars: 0
2 Stars: 0
1 Stars: 0
Write a Review
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Modern vulgarity, grit-ridden, pulp, noir, odyssey prose written by one of my favorite graphic novel writers. Godzilla fetish!! "

    — Bradley, 2/13/2014
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " A book about fetishes and social undercurrents that are thankfully unseen in everyday life. This is a good read if you are feeling voyueristic, although the author's attempts to shock and awe his readers are frustratingly sensationalist. Ellis is a well-known graphic novelist, so his sense of description is meticulous and intense. "

    — Chuck, 2/7/2014
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " An utterly engrossing read that frequently made my mind boggle with obscenity, but gripped me to keep reading. Those previous readers of Ellis' work will be comforted that his unrelenting satirical style and dark humour is ever prevalant. "

    — James, 2/4/2014
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Entertaining, but often quite disturbing, book written in a similar style to most of the comic books written by Ellis. "

    — Devin, 1/21/2014
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Just picked this up today, about half way in and my sides hurt. S'funny. Wonderfully offensive. "

    — Leroy, 1/18/2014
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " It took me several chapters to be able to get used to the weird, crazy and disgusting things the main characters encounter, but once I got used to it, I enjoyed this book and did come to care about the characters. I would recommend it to certain readers. "

    — Rachelle, 1/10/2014
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Sometimes the story seemed like an avenue for Warren to bring up some insane practice he's heard about or something he's seen on the internet but I found myself totally invested as a whole and especially throughout the last few chapters. "

    — Jeremy, 1/4/2014
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Fast paced and entertaining. "

    — Andrew, 12/19/2013
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Delicious brain-twistingly fun hardboiled two-fisted detective adventure. Thank you Warren Ellis, I'll never wash my brain again. Warning to those in the audience who can't stomach filth and depravity, THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR YOU. Hearts! "

    — Vincent, 11/12/2013
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Warren Ellis writes fanfic about his blog. "

    — Tone, 8/19/2013
  • Overall Performance: 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " A book that exemplifies the internet term "try-hard". Mr. Ellis goes far out of his way to show off his knowledge of sexual fetishes and deviant subcultures at the expense of characters or story. I think it would be best if he stuck to the medium of comics in the future. He's MUCH more suited to it. "

    — Roboky, 2/16/2013
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This book is the bastard child of "Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul" and "Silence of the Lambs." A fun story, not as good as Ellis' comics, but a fun read nonetheless. "

    — Jess, 2/13/2013
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Really good fun, embraces its noir roots and remains utterly disgusting and depraved from first page to the last. "

    — Peter, 12/10/2012
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " This is the Little Black Book of Ellis, and chronicles all that is sick and twisted in America. It's a psychotic detective tale of perversion, madness, fear and loathing, and bright sparks of glorious hope. "

    — Monty, 11/24/2012
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " there are parts of this book where i think warren ellis needs a filter but over all very fun and very fucked up . "

    — Iori, 9/20/2012
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " A strange journey across america reveling in stranger and stranger psycho sexual perversions. But what an amazing writing style. Any novel that starts with a rat pissing into a coffee cup is marvelously deranged enough for me. "

    — Alvin, 3/25/2012
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " 3.5 stars. Psychedelic noir; a fun way to pass 6 hours waiting in an airport/being on a plane. "

    — Laura, 5/16/2011
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " oh man, so funny!! I loved this book. "

    — Icka, 4/24/2011
  • Overall Performance: 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I admire what the author did, but it was too disturbing and twisted for me to really enjoy. "

    — Milele, 3/22/2011
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Down and out PI searches underbelly of society for 2nd version of US Constitution "

    — Mike, 3/12/2011
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I enjoyed it. A compulsively readable detective novel that explores both the seedy underside of the internet AND historical fiction. "

    — Kelly, 3/11/2011
  • Overall Performance: 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Highly recommended to me, but I just couldn't get into it. I quit a little more than half way through... an honest effort. "

    — Kate, 3/5/2011
  • Overall Performance: 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Loves the fucked-up nature that Ellis had created here. Loves his satirical writing. This is a road story unlike any other. A Godzilla bukkake ? come on. But the story, well, it's just a road novel. Not quite gripping to keep me reading it all along. "

    — Chuddchutney, 3/5/2011
  • Overall Performance: 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " Disgusting! Perverted! Obscene! <br/><br/>This is really my kinda book! I couldn't put it down. "

    — Billi, 3/3/2011
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " I ended up really loving this books, it was twisted and bizarre but somehow not at all dark. "

    — Nancy, 1/26/2011
  • Overall Performance: 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Narration Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5 Story Rating: 0 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 50 out of 5

    " My favorite thing about this book is all of it. The characters, their antics, the plot, the violence, and over-the-top obscenity. There is no part of this book that does not equal awesome. Warren Ellis is a global treasure and should be canonized. "

    — Nic, 1/21/2011

About Warren Ellis

Warren Ellis is the award-winning creator of graphic novels such as FellMinistry of SpacePlanetary, and Transmetropolitan and the author of the novel Crooked Little Vein. His graphic novel RED was adapted into the #1 hit film of the same name starring Bruce Willis and Helen Mirren. He lives in southern England.

About Todd McLaren

Todd McLaren, an Earphones Award–winning narrator, was involved in radio for more than twenty years in cities on both coasts, including Philadelphia, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. He left broadcasting for a full-time career in voice acting, where he has been heard on more than five thousand television and radio commercials, as well as television promos; narrations for documentaries on such networks as A&E, Discovery, and the History Channel; and films, including Who Framed Roger Rabbit?