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Download Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks Audiobook, by Lisa Lampanelli Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (328 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Lisa Lampanelli Narrator: Lisa Lampanelli Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date: September 2009 ISBN: 9780743597869
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An inside look at the life of Comedy's Lovable Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli, as she dishes on everything from relationships, food, and fat to why once you go black, you never go back.

In her jaw-droppingly hilarious and politically incorrect memoir, Lisa reveals all -- including the dysfunctional childhood that made her the insult comic she is today, the subject for which she is best known (black men, black men, and more black men), and her hilarious struggles with her addiction to food and hot guys. By telling her story in her very real, very candid, very open way, Lisa tells her audience that it's okay to be yourself, even if it's just one rehab stint at a time. Lisa also takes listeners behind the scenes at the roasts that have marked her comedy career and launched her into the comedy elite, and reveals the important "firsts" in her career, including her first time on her hero's program, The Howard Stern Show.

Chocolate, Please is a side-splittingly funny portrait of the woman behind the award-winning insult comedy. Download and start listening now!

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Quotes & Awards

  • “Lisa releases us from a prison of cultural guilt. She’s more than a stand-up, she’s a stand-out.”

    Jim Carrey

  • “Anyone who follows late-night television or the comedy-club circuit knows Lisa Lampanelli. This irrepressible Italian-American comic, with her no-holds-barred approach to living large, has won a loyal following for her politically incorrect act that revels in every ethnic and gender stereotype and slur as she races straight to the bottom of vulgarity.” 

    Booklist

  • “Quite funny, and Lampanelli never pulls her punches.” 

    Publishers Weekly

Listener Opinions

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Shannon Spollen | 2/13/2014

    " Love Lisa! She definitely kept with her insult comic style, which is hilarious, but she is also self deprecating, which is charming about her. I was a little disappointed in this book, as I felt it glossed over things in a lot of places, but still a good read if you're an LL fan. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Nicole | 2/6/2014

    " FUNNY AS HELL! SHE IS GREAT FINISHED IN BOUT 1 WEEK "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Michele | 1/31/2014

    " Parts of this are crazy hilarious, other parts boring as hell--didn't give a fuck about her high school years or what her favorite parts of being on celebrity roasts were. I thought that it was pretentious that she quoted her own favorite jokes she made and favorite jokes celebrities made about her......if we were big enough fans, we would have seen the jokes. But there are great stereotypes that are supported in this book and those are one of my favorite types of humor. She makes fun of everyone equally, based on their ethnic background, religion and sexual orientation. She reminded me of my parents, only meaner. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Ryan | 1/25/2014

    " I think her reading it made it a lot better so I'm happy I went with the audio book on this one. It's not as funny as her stand up but it was still pretty funny. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Priani | 1/17/2014

    " I knew going into this book that the author is about as politically INcorrect as they come. However, I still find her extremely funny and made sure not to get offended by her inappropriate opinions. I was greatly disappointed by this book because the title implies a story, of whatever sort, about chocolate. But it ended up being a story about the author's attraction to black men. I didn't even finish it because I'm personally revolted by anyone's preference of one race over others. I couldn't stand some of the things she talked about. It is somewhat well written and it is still funny. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Torie Duda | 1/4/2014

    " Having had no idea who this comedienne was, the book looked like it could be fun. It was a fast read, but I think it would have helped if I knew more about her beforehand. Small to medium laughs. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Gmyersnyc myers | 1/2/2014

    " This was really funny, and I love Lisa Lampanelli. It was, however at times, a bit too much (like telling about her time at the fat farm.) When she talks about the roasts, she's hilarious... "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Amy Denim | 12/31/2013

    " There were some funny bits, mostly when Lisa Lamp was talking about her family, or in the section at the end. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Marcella | 12/4/2013

    " Funny. Worth listening to. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Michael Martin | 11/26/2013

    " Absolutely filthy and as politically incorrect as you can get, but made me laugh several times. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Liz Abinante | 11/14/2013

    " Hilarious, witty, completely vulgar, but also very revealing. Like history, Lisa Lampanelli does repeat herself. But hey, people are doomed to make the same mistakes until they own up to them and go to rehab for 28 days. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Amanda | 10/12/2013

    " Pretty darn funny! "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Teddy | 8/6/2013

    " Not my type of book. Ms. Lampanelli seems angry and it is not my type of humor. I did not find it entertaining, only sad. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Tamara Evans | 3/5/2013

    " I've heard her comedy routine before and expected the book to be a good read. Instead, this book provided insight on her upbriging and was lead her to be a comedian but it fixated a little too much on Lamanelli's love of black men. I was so annoyed, I didn't even finish it. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Krystina | 8/7/2012

    " She had me laughing out loud! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Marisa | 7/6/2012

    " Good gym read. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Jillian | 5/28/2012

    " The only book cover I have tried to keep hidden on the subway. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Victoria | 4/4/2012

    " This was ok. It was suppose to be humorous but I did not get much of a chuckle. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Dana | 2/22/2012

    " Not for the faint of heart...or not for someone who is easily offended or doesn't like cursing. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Carlo | 10/12/2011

    " A fast read. Reminded me of her stand-up, but with heart and insight into the soul of a fattie who's tortured with body issues. I can relate. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Betsy | 7/26/2011

    " If you like Lisa Lampanelli, you will like this book. She tells her favorite roast jokes and some that she chickened out of telling. Very funny. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Caitlyn | 7/3/2011

    " Laugh riot! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Nicole | 5/14/2011

    " FUNNY AS HELL! SHE IS GREAT FINISHED IN BOUT 1 WEEK "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Michael | 1/9/2011

    " Absolutely filthy and as politically incorrect as you can get, but made me laugh several times. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Christa | 11/3/2010

    " I like her comedy. I appreciated her parts about growing up and getting into comedy, but the parts about all the rehab were tough to listen to. Also being in her own voice makes it more personable. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Kyle | 8/29/2010

    " very funny, inappropriate, emotional, honest memoir.
    I love Lisa.
    5 stars "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Angie | 7/25/2010

    " I am always amused and shocked when I see Lisa perform. Her book is just the same. She is one of my favorite stand up comics, and the queen of the roast. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Elizabeth Faye | 7/19/2010

    " Not all that up with her stand-up, but this book was edited beautifully and absolutely hilarious. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Tamara | 5/4/2010

    " I've heard her comedy routine before and expected the book to be a good read. Instead, this book provided insight on her upbriging and was lead her to be a comedian but it fixated a little too much on Lamanelli's love of black men. I was so annoyed, I didn't even finish it. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Krystina | 4/8/2010

    " She had me laughing out loud! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Victoria | 4/2/2010

    " This was ok. It was suppose to be humorous but I did not get much of a chuckle. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Torie | 1/26/2010

    " Having had no idea who this comedienne was, the book looked like it could be fun. It was a fast read, but I think it would have helped if I knew more about her beforehand. Small to medium laughs. "

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About the Author
Author Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli skyrocketed to comedy fame thanks to her showstopping performances on the Comedy Central roasts of Jeff Foxworthy, Pamela Anderson, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav. She is a regular guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and The Howard Stern Show. Her CD / DVD Dirty Girl was nominated for a Grammy for Best Comedy Album in 2007. Her first HBO special aired in 2009, and she also signed a contract with HBO to cocreate and star in her own sitcom, produced by Jim Carrey.