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Download Care of Wooden Floors: A Novel Audiobook

Extended Audio Sample Care of Wooden Floors: A Novel Audiobook, by Will Wiles Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (584 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Will Wiles Narrator: Michael Page Publisher: Brilliance Audio Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date: October 2012 ISBN: 9781469207551
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A witty debut novel about a house-sitting gig gone terribly, hilariously wrong.

A British copywriter stays for a week at his composer friend Oskar’s elegant, ultramodern apartment in a glum Eastern European city. The instructions are simple: feed the cats, don’t touch the piano, and make sure nothing harms the priceless wooden floors. Content for the first time in ages, he accidentally spills some wine. Over the course of a week, both the apartment and the narrator’s sanity fall apart in this original and “weirdly addictive” (Daily Mail) novel.

As the situation in and out of the sleek apartment spirals out of control, more of Oskar’s notes appear, taking on an insistent—even sinister—tone. Care of Wooden Floors is a must-read for anyone who’s ever bungled a house-sitting gig, or felt inferior to a perfectionist friend—that is to say, all of us.

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Listener Opinions

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Ferris | 2/15/2014

    " Audiobook..........Theater of the absurd in a first person narrative.....did not enjoy this at any level. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 Carol | 2/5/2014

    " I really hate to leave a book started but unfinished. I hardly ever do so. I liked the idea of this novel -- of a housesitter whose best laid plans of care go horribly awry, but it just didn't work for me. The writing was so dry, so...dull, as to be almost sedating. I have to confess I made it no further than the first 100 pages or so. The only interesting parts were the cats and the absent owner and there just weren't enough of them to keep the book moving. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Meredith | 1/26/2014

    " A few gripes on a potentially really great book. The vocabulary of the narrator and his constant, absolutely constant use of metaphor and simile grates. Also I hate the use of bad language...in this case a small explosion of it that doesn't seem in any way justified by the setting. Although I could kind of relate to encountering someone in another country communicating to me in English, my first language and their second, and hearing it completely peppered with F-words. As if someone once told them....look, all you've got to do to sound like a native when speaking English is use this in place of any word you forget. And there's a lack of closure on the whole cleaning woman fiasco. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Katy Noyes | 1/23/2014

    " Really enjoyed the slow-burn of this, the ridiculous escalation and climax. Not for all, but good payoff if you are patient. Very blackly funny. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Steve | 1/1/2014

    " This book probably accomplishes just what the author intended : what happens when our obsessive natures get the better of us. Unfortuneately, the antiseptic environment and situations Wiles creates, while well written, marred the humor for me. Good, not terrific. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Deborah Ciocca | 12/19/2013

    " Very original premise. The floor is a metaphor. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Jody | 9/5/2013

    " A funny story in a car-crash sort of way; over-written for my taste; I admit I sped through a lot in the middle. I did enjoy it though. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Neal | 9/3/2013

    " Started well but withered away as it was essentially one joke, which wore thin long before the end. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Angie Cavenor | 7/29/2013

    " For me the reality didn't live up to the hype on this one and I wouldn't recommend it. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Cathy Schmitz | 4/26/2013

    " Really 4.5! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Ashley Rangel | 2/9/2013

    " The humor in this book isn't for me a laugh out loud type, but still a satisfying, can't-stop-reaching-for-this book type. The ending is satisfying too! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Clbplym | 1/5/2013

    " A strange book. How did the author ever think of this? It's not my normal type of book as there are large sections where very little happens but the dry humour kept me interested. The end comes with a rush of disasters and some final thoughts which I enjoyed. "

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 Shellys♥ Journal | 12/26/2012

    " I thought this story had a lot of promise. I like the writers style, but not the content of his story. Felt like the main characters was a slouch and a drunk. It could have been quite a commical story, but instead just ended up being flat. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Jessica | 10/5/2012

    " This is one of the strangest books I've ever read. Oddly suspenseful and funny. "

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About the Narrator

Michael Page has been recording audiobooks since 1984 and has over two hundred titles to his credit. He has won eleven AudioFile Earphones Awards and in 2012 was a winner of the prestigious Audie Award for best narration. As a professional actor, he has performed regularly since 1998 with the Peterborough Players in Peterborough, New Hampshire. He is a professor of theater at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan.