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Extended Audio Sample Bitch Is the New Black: A Memoir, by Helena Andrews Click for printable size audiobook cover
2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 2.00 (347 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Helena Andrews Narrator: Karen Murray Publisher: HarperCollins Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date:
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Meet Helena Andrews, sassy, single, smart, and, yes, a bitch—but Tina Fey said it best, bitch is the new black!

When Helena Andrews heard this declaration on Saturday Night Live, her first reaction was How daaare you? But after a commercial break and some thought, she decided to poke at the stereotype that says "successful" and "bitch" are synonyms. Unafraid and frank, she comes to realize that being a bitch is sometimes the best way to be—except, of course, when it's not.

Bitch Is the New Black follows Andrews—sexy, single, and a self-described smart-ass—on her trip from kidnapped daughter of a lesbian to Washington, D.C., political reporter who can't remember a single senator's name. Told in Andrews's singular voice, this addictive memoir explores the roller coaster of being educated and single while trying to become an "actual adult" and find love.

In these candid yet heartfelt essays, she chronicles that ride from beginning to end: a childhood spent on an all-white island, escaping via episodes of The Cosby Show; being set up with Obama's "body guy" Reggie Love by Maureen Dowd; and the shocking suicide of a best friend. Through it all, Andrews and her gang of girlfriends urge each other to "keep it moving." But no one can stay strong all the time—not even the women we believe do so without trying.

As Andrews says, "Despite the fact that the most recognizable woman in the United States is black, popular culture still hasn't moved past the only adjective apparently meant to describe us— "strong." She is also flawed, tired, naive, greedy, gutsy, frightened, and kind: secret sides that come out in honest detail here.

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Quotes & Awards

  • “The scathingly witty author examines a wide variety of topics that, beneath the jokes and sarcasm, address weighty issues (depression, aging, abortion) with wry astuteness…An irreverent, savvy and sharp memoir.”

    Kirkus Reviews

  • Bitch Is the New Black is an authentic fresh exploration of what it is to be young, black, and single right now—from a voice both outrageously funny and heartbreakingly honest.”

    Shonda Rhimes, creator of Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice

  • “I didn’t like this book. I loved it…I’m giving copies to all of my girlfriends who have crazy families, love lives that revolve around IM, and, of course, I’m pretending I helped Helen write it.”

    Angela Nissel, author of The Broke Diaries

  • “[A] bitingly funny—and honest—read…[Andrews] establishes herself as an individual, proving that the women who fit into the ‘strong (single) black woman’ category are more complex than the one-dimensional persona lets on.”

    Associated Press

  • “Andrews’ combination of personal anecdote and analysis of success and race makes her tales unique. And at the same time, her exploration of gender in America is one surely any woman can relate to.”


  • “With honesty and wit…Andrews is not afraid to reveal anything, even her bra size.”

    Washington Post

Listener Opinions

  • 2 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 52 out of 5 by Bethy | 2/9/2014

    " It took me a long time to finish. I appreciate her opening her life to us but it read really disjointed. I found it hard to follow. I thought I'd find the groove of her writing style but could never connect. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 by Jennifer | 2/4/2014

    " This book took me on a fantastic roller coaster ride. I laughed and nodded in silent agreements as Helena skillfully recounted the ups and downs of her life's journey. Simply put, I loved it!! "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 by Sheila | 2/2/2014

    " Made it through chapter 4 when I finally gave up. Just didn't care for it at all. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 by Shaina Shine | 1/30/2014

    " "High off that new boy smell, I overlooked the fact that he said put up instead of put away & wore dress shoes with pressed denim. The squealing, though was too high pitched to ignore. Play with my nipples he moaned, out of breath on our first conjugal visit. Um, okay, I guess, why not?" lol G.H.E.I was my favorite chapter. I couldn't stop laighing.... "

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About the Author

Helena Andrews, a Washington journalist and purveyor of all things pop culture, has written about President Barack Obama’s blackness, Secretary Hillary Clinton’s pantsuits, Damien Marley’s marijuana, and Dave Chapelle’s conspiracy theories. A former staff writer at Politico, she now writes a weekly column called “Single-Minded” for TheRoot.com, a division of the Washington Post. She also covers the nexus of pop culture and politics as a regular online and on-air contributor to PoliticsDaily.com, a division of AOL. Her first book, a collection of essays called Bitch Is the New Black, has been optioned for film by Grey’s Anatomy creator Shonda Rhimes, who will produce the project for Fox Searchlight Pictures. Helena has appeared on ABC’s Nightline, CBS’s The Early Show, CNN, XM Radio, NPR, and NY1.