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Extended Audio Sample Agnes and the Hitman Audiobook, by Jennifer Crusie Click for printable size audiobook cover
3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 3.00 (10,194 ratings) (rate this audio book) Author: Jennifer Crusie, Bob Mayer Narrator: Sandra Burr Publisher: Brilliance Audio Format: Unabridged Audiobook Delivery: Instant Download Audio Length: Release Date: August 2007 ISBN: 9781423336532
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Take one food writer named Cranky Agnes, add a hitman named Shane, mix them together with a Southern mob wedding, a missing necklace, two annoyed flamingos, and a dog named Rhett, and you’ve got a recipe for a sexy, hilarious novel about the disastrous side of true love....

Agnes Crandall’s life goes awry when a dognapper invades her kitchen one night, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she’s staked her entire net worth on. Then a hero climbs through her bedroom window. His name is Shane—no last name, just Shane—and he has his own problems: He’s got a big hit scheduled, a rival trying to take him out, and an ex-mobster uncle asking him to protect some little kid named Agnes. When he finds out that Agnes isn’t so little, that his uncle has forgotten to mention a missing five million bucks he might have lost in Agnes’s house, and that his last hit was a miss, Shane’s life isn’t looking so good, either. Then a bunch of lowlifes come looking for the money, a string of hitmen show up for Agnes, and some wedding guests gather with the intent to throw more than rice. Agnes and Shane have their hands full with greed, florists, treachery, flamingos, mayhem, mothers of the bride, and—most dangerous of all—each other.

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Listener Opinions

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Steph | 2/16/2014

    " So good I didn't want it to be over! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Denise Lampton | 2/13/2014

    " This was a fun read. Between the mob and Agnes's anger issues, the humor was great. Loved the four and 2 wheels characters. I had fun imaging the house and the flamingos by the water. This is the first book I've read of Jennifer cruise and I'm looking forward to many more. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Aminda Seymour | 2/3/2014

    " Freaking hilarious! Like reading Janet Evanovich Stephanie Plum series, when they were good! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Ellyn | 2/2/2014

    " Crusie and Mayer's first collaboration was fun, but this book was an absolute hoot! I loved the crazy cast of characters! "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Kristi | 2/1/2014

    " This book was the PERFECT summer read. Funny and fun! "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Kyle Ripley | 1/20/2014

    " This was the first book I read by Jennifer Crusie. I love her ability to combine intriguing story-telling, mystery, and a quirky sense of humor in her writing. She expresses self doubt and successful thoughts by her characters in real life ways that we all think from time to time. The funny things we think to ourselves pop up when you least expect it and make you laugh out loud. She tells a great story that keeps you reading till your eyes can't stay open. I love Jennifer Crusie and will read more of her books. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Frankiea20 | 1/10/2014

    " Loved this book - it was over too soon. I wish I could cook like Agnes. It seems so easy to her and I struggle just to make a passable omelet. Wish we could all be Cranky. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Lesley | 1/4/2014

    " fantastically fun fluff "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 sandra | 1/3/2014

    " muh "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Nicole | 12/29/2013

    " Silly and satisfying. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Stella | 12/24/2013

    " Took me a while to get into it but when I did it was a really funny n romantic novel:)) one of my fav authors "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Vanessa Kelly | 12/22/2013

    " A total romp. You need a laugh, read this book. You need a lesson in how to craft a good book, read this book. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Lorann | 12/20/2013

    " This was kinda fun. A bit light but just the sort of brain candy one needs sometimes. Fans of Stephanie Plum would probably like this. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Karin | 12/9/2013

    " Wonderful book with a hilarious set of characters. Lovely romance as in all Jennifer Crusie's books.I am truly addicted to this author. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Andra | 12/5/2013

    " mystery, a little love...Very entertaining. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Andrea | 11/29/2013

    " Funny, a good romance, with a little mystery and suspense thrown in.... Great. Another good one by Jennifer Cruise. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Kathy McC. Mc.C | 10/23/2013

    " I like Cruisie's lighthearted prose. It always makes me smile as I read. This one, however, was a little heavy on "language" that I could do without. Still a fun read. "

  • 1 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 51 out of 5 nelda munoz | 10/15/2013

    " I had a hard time reading this and gave up. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Minderella34 | 9/23/2013

    " I found this in the library and decided it sounded like a fun read. This was a new author for me, and I rather enjoyed the writing. This book had everything: murder,mayhem,the mob, mystery, love,sex, and funny lines. I will be checking out other books by this author! Loved it! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Patricia Solla | 6/19/2013

    " At first I didn't think I would like this book at all but ended up liking it. The storyline is a little strange but the humor in the story is great. I finished up reading this book with satisfaction. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Dorothy | 2/9/2013

    " This is one of the funniest romances I have ever read! "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Janene | 9/23/2012

    " This book totally met my expectations and need for the day. Something light..with a little suspense...some lovin' & laughs. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Probibliophile | 9/7/2012

    " Jennifer Crusie is well written fluff - if you are having a bad day and hate TV pick one up. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Sharon Payne | 6/2/2012

    " Fast, fun, humorous, adventure-packed summer beach read (I was in San Diego when I read it, so that counts as a beach read, right?). "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Shy | 4/14/2012

    " Loved Agnes and Shane. Really funny and enjoyable book. ("Is he coming to kill me? No. Good, I like him already".) "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Angela | 10/23/2011

    " I loved the plot line. It was a good mystery and a fun mob-type story. It was a little more crass than Crusie's other books which was a bit unnecessary. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 PastAllReason | 6/8/2011

    " I've read many of Jennifer Crusie's books in the past, and find the to be great fun. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Robin | 5/16/2011

    " Not sure why, but this is my favorite, I've even read mutliple times and I don't normally do that.
    "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Robin | 5/13/2011

    " Her books are just fun to read. She's my new favorite author. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Meghan | 5/6/2011

    " A great story and very funny. The main character is extremly like-able. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Summer | 4/27/2011

    " I loved this book. I was laughing out loud almost every page--great, fun read. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Tara | 4/23/2011

    " Very funny and Agnes is a great character "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Sara | 4/17/2011

    " Another one of my favorites. Agnes is awesome. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Fiore777 | 4/14/2011

    " I liked this quite a bit, especially later when things started to pick up and fit together. Had me grinning through quite a bit of it. Oh, and the book does make me crave food. D: "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 ^_^ | 4/12/2011

    " This was really quite amusing... it reminded me of the earlier Donna Andrews books. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Joan | 4/8/2011

    " I really enjoyed reading this book. It was fun to read. The dialogue between the hero and heroine was snappy and funny. The story moved along at a quick pace. "

  • 5 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 55 out of 5 Cynthiar | 4/2/2011

    " This is one of my favorite books...I read it about every six months. I'm normally not a romance book fan, but his book is hysterical! Love the humor. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Michelle | 4/1/2011

    " lots of killing in this rom.com. More grosse-pt blankish "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Summerfly | 4/1/2011

    " Laugh out loud funny. Reminded me of the Stephanie Plum adventures. "

  • 3 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 53 out of 5 Chris | 3/25/2011

    " Not sure how I felt about the collaboration effect, which basically added in a lot of shooting and mob/government politics. I think I'm a bit burned out on Crusie at the moment, so I don't have a real review to offer on this book at the moment. "

  • 4 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 54 out of 5 Michelle | 3/23/2011

    " It took me a year to read this book. I just keep ignoring it. Turns out to be a really good one. Fun, smart, easy read. "

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About the Author
Author Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie is the New York Times, Publishers Weekly, and USA Today bestselling author of Maybe This Time, Welcome to Temptation, Tell Me Lies, Crazy for You, Faking It, Fast Women, and Bet Me. She has also collaborated with Bob Mayer to write Wild Ride, Agnes and the Hitman, and Don’t Look Down. Crusie earned her bachelor’s degree from Bowling Green State University, a master’s from Wright State University, and a master of fine arts from Ohio State University. Before devoting herself to writing full-time, Crusie worked as a preschool teacher, an elementary and junior high art teacher, and a high school English teacher. She lives on the banks of the Ohio River.

About the Narrator

Sandra Burr is an AudioFile Earphones Award–wining narrator. She has read more than one hundred books in her career, including the New York Times bestselling Cedar Cove romance series by Debbie Macomber.