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Agnes and the Hitman Audiobook
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(3.00) - 10,237 listener ratings
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Publisher Description
Take one food writer named Cranky Agnes, add a hitman named Shane, mix them together with a Southern mob wedding, a missing necklace, two annoyed flamingos, and a dog named Rhett, and you’ve got a recipe for a sexy, hilarious novel about the disastrous side of true love....
Agnes Crandall’s life goes awry when a dognapper invades her kitchen one night, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she’s staked her entire net worth on. Then a hero climbs through her bedroom window. His name is Shane—no last name, just Shane—and he has his own problems: He’s got a big hit scheduled, a rival trying to take him out, and an ex-mobster uncle asking him to protect some little kid named Agnes. When he finds out that Agnes isn’t so little, that his uncle has forgotten to mention a missing five million bucks he might have lost in Agnes’s house, and that his last hit was a miss, Shane’s life isn’t looking so good, either. Then a bunch of lowlifes come looking for the money, a string of hitmen show up for Agnes, and some wedding guests gather with the intent to throw more than rice. Agnes and Shane have their hands full with greed, florists, treachery, flamingos, mayhem, mothers of the bride, and—most dangerous of all—each other.
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"This was the first book I read by Jennifer Crusie. I love her ability to combine intriguing story-telling, mystery, and a quirky sense of humor in her writing. She expresses self doubt and successful thoughts by her characters in real life ways that we all think from time to time. The funny things we think to ourselves pop up when you least expect it and make you laugh out loud. She tells a great story that keeps you reading till your eyes can't stay open. I love Jennifer Crusie and will read more of her books."
— Kyle (5 out of 5 stars)
Agnes and the Hitman Listener Reviews
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" This is my favorite Jennifer Crusie book and felt narrator did great job bringing a diverse group of characters to life including a strong female character with anger issues, government agents, assassins, mobsters, flamingos and, oh yeah - let's not forget a prospective bride & groom with serious problems with certain family members. Great fun, fast paced story! "
— NorwichGal, 10/9/2023 -
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Codename Eric, 9/15/2022
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" So good I didn't want it to be over! "
— Steph, 2/16/2014 -
" This was a fun read. Between the mob and Agnes's anger issues, the humor was great. Loved the four and 2 wheels characters. I had fun imaging the house and the flamingos by the water. This is the first book I've read of Jennifer cruise and I'm looking forward to many more. "
— Denise, 2/13/2014 -
" Freaking hilarious! Like reading Janet Evanovich Stephanie Plum series, when they were good! "
— Aminda, 2/3/2014 -
" Crusie and Mayer's first collaboration was fun, but this book was an absolute hoot! I loved the crazy cast of characters! "
— Ellyn, 2/2/2014 -
" This book was the PERFECT summer read. Funny and fun! "
— Kristi, 2/1/2014 -
" Loved this book - it was over too soon. I wish I could cook like Agnes. It seems so easy to her and I struggle just to make a passable omelet. Wish we could all be Cranky. "
— Frankiea20, 1/10/2014 -
" fantastically fun fluff "
— Lesley, 1/4/2014 -
" muh "
— sandra, 1/3/2014 -
" Silly and satisfying. "
— Nicole, 12/29/2013 -
" Took me a while to get into it but when I did it was a really funny n romantic novel:)) one of my fav authors "
— Stella, 12/24/2013 -
" A total romp. You need a laugh, read this book. You need a lesson in how to craft a good book, read this book. "
— Vanessa, 12/22/2013 -
" This was kinda fun. A bit light but just the sort of brain candy one needs sometimes. Fans of Stephanie Plum would probably like this. "
— Lorann, 12/20/2013 -
" Wonderful book with a hilarious set of characters. Lovely romance as in all Jennifer Crusie's books.I am truly addicted to this author. "
— Karin, 12/9/2013 -
" mystery, a little love...Very entertaining. "
— Andra, 12/5/2013 -
" Funny, a good romance, with a little mystery and suspense thrown in.... Great. Another good one by Jennifer Cruise. "
— Andrea, 11/29/2013 -
" I like Cruisie's lighthearted prose. It always makes me smile as I read. This one, however, was a little heavy on "language" that I could do without. Still a fun read. "
— Kathy, 10/23/2013 -
" I had a hard time reading this and gave up. "
— nelda, 10/15/2013 -
" I found this in the library and decided it sounded like a fun read. This was a new author for me, and I rather enjoyed the writing. This book had everything: murder,mayhem,the mob, mystery, love,sex, and funny lines. I will be checking out other books by this author! Loved it! "
— Minderella34, 9/23/2013 -
" At first I didn't think I would like this book at all but ended up liking it. The storyline is a little strange but the humor in the story is great. I finished up reading this book with satisfaction. "
— Patricia, 6/19/2013 -
" This is one of the funniest romances I have ever read! "
— Dorothy, 2/9/2013 -
" This book totally met my expectations and need for the day. Something light..with a little suspense...some lovin' & laughs. "
— Janene, 9/23/2012 -
" Jennifer Crusie is well written fluff - if you are having a bad day and hate TV pick one up. "
— Probibliophile, 9/7/2012 -
" Fast, fun, humorous, adventure-packed summer beach read (I was in San Diego when I read it, so that counts as a beach read, right?). "
— Sharon, 6/2/2012 -
" Loved Agnes and Shane. Really funny and enjoyable book. ("Is he coming to kill me? No. Good, I like him already".) "
— Shy, 4/14/2012 -
" I loved the plot line. It was a good mystery and a fun mob-type story. It was a little more crass than Crusie's other books which was a bit unnecessary. "
— Angela, 10/23/2011 -
" I've read many of Jennifer Crusie's books in the past, and find the to be great fun. "
— PastAllReason, 6/8/2011 -
" Not sure why, but this is my favorite, I've even read mutliple times and I don't normally do that. <br/> "
— Robin, 5/16/2011 -
" Her books are just fun to read. She's my new favorite author. "
— Robin, 5/13/2011 -
" A great story and very funny. The main character is extremly like-able. "
— Meghan, 5/6/2011 -
" I loved this book. I was laughing out loud almost every page--great, fun read. "
— Summer, 4/27/2011 -
" Very funny and Agnes is a great character "
— Tara, 4/23/2011 -
" Another one of my favorites. Agnes is awesome. "
— Sara, 4/17/2011 -
" I liked this quite a bit, especially later when things started to pick up and fit together. Had me grinning through quite a bit of it. Oh, and the book does make me crave food. D: "
— Fiore777, 4/14/2011 -
" This was really quite amusing... it reminded me of the earlier Donna Andrews books. "
— ^_^, 4/12/2011 -
" I really enjoyed reading this book. It was fun to read. The dialogue between the hero and heroine was snappy and funny. The story moved along at a quick pace. "
— Joan, 4/8/2011 -
" This is one of my favorite books...I read it about every six months. I'm normally not a romance book fan, but his book is hysterical! Love the humor. "
— Cynthiar, 4/2/2011 -
" lots of killing in this rom.com. More grosse-pt blankish "
— Michelle, 4/1/2011 -
" Laugh out loud funny. Reminded me of the Stephanie Plum adventures. "
— Summerfly, 4/1/2011 -
" Not sure how I felt about the collaboration effect, which basically added in a lot of shooting and mob/government politics. I think I'm a bit burned out on Crusie at the moment, so I don't have a real review to offer on this book at the moment. "
— Chris, 3/25/2011 -
" It took me a year to read this book. I just keep ignoring it. Turns out to be a really good one. Fun, smart, easy read. "
— Michelle, 3/23/2011
About the Authors
Jennifer Crusie is the New York Times, Publishers Weekly, and USA Today bestselling author of Maybe This Time, Welcome to Temptation, Tell Me Lies, Crazy for You, Faking It, Fast Women, and Bet Me. She has also collaborated with Bob Mayer to write Wild Ride, Agnes and the Hitman, and Don’t Look Down. Crusie earned her bachelor’s degree from Bowling Green State University, a master’s from Wright State University, and a master of fine arts from Ohio State University. Before devoting herself to writing full-time, Crusie worked as a preschool teacher, an elementary and junior high art teacher, and a high school English teacher. She lives on the banks of the Ohio River.
Bob Mayeris a New York Times bestselling author, a graduate of West Point, and a former Green Beret (including commanding an A-Team). He’s had more than sixty books published, including the #1 bestselling series Area 51, Atlantis, and the Green Berets. Born in the Bronx and having traveled the world (usually not the tourist spots), he now lives peacefully with his wife and his labs at Write on the River, Tennessee.
About Sandra Burr
Sandra Burr is an AudioFile Earphones Award–wining narrator. She has read more than one hundred books in her career, including the New York Times bestselling Cedar Cove romance series by Debbie Macomber.