From one of America's foremost young literary voices, a transcendent portrait of the unbearable anguish of grief and the enduring power of familial love. What does it mean to mourn today, in a culture that has largely set aside rituals that acknowledge grief? After her mother died of cancer at the age of fifty-five, Meghan O'Rourke found that nothing had prepared her for the intensity of her sorrow. In the first anguished days, she began to create a record of her interior life as a mourner, trying to capture the paradox of grief-its monumental agony and microscopic intimacies-an endeavor that ultimately bloomed into a profound look at how caring for her mother during her illness changed and strengthened their bond. O'Rourke's story is one of a life gone off the rails, of how watching her mother's illness-and separating from her husband-left her fundamentally altered. But it is also one of resilience, as she observes her family persevere even in the face of immeasurable loss. With lyricism and unswerving candor, The Long Goodbye conveys the fleeting moments of joy that make up a life, and the way memory can lead us out of the jagged darkness of loss. Effortlessly blending research and reflection, the personal and the universal, it is not only an exceptional memoir, but a necessary one.
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"Awesomely written book about the diagnosis and death of O'Rourke's mother. Not written to gushy. Just a glimpse into the heart of someone grieving with some insights into the memories and framework of how the author and her family functioned during their childhood and post death. Loved it. "
— Sarah (5 out of 5 stars)
“Meghan O'Rourke is an extraordinary writer, and she offers precious gifts to readers in this powerful memoir. There is the gift of entering her family, with its vibrant characters and culture. There is the gift of her profound insights into the experience of grief, its grip and the diverse ways we struggle to reenter a world where joy is felt. But most of all, there is her gift of showing us how love prevails after even the most devastating loss.”
— Jerome Groopman, M.D., Recanati Professor, Harvard Medical School, and author of The Anatomy of Hope and How Doctors Think“Meghan O'Rourke has written a beautiful memoir about her loss of a truly irreplaceable mother—yes, it is sad, it is in fact heartrending, but it is many things more: courageous, inspiring, wonderfully intelligent and informed, and an intimate portrait of an American family as well.”
— Joyce Carol Oates“Meghan O'Rourke, a celebrated poet and critic, writes prose as if she was born to it first. Her memoir The Long Goodbye is emotionally acute, strikingly empathetic, thorough and unstinting intellectually, and of course elegantly wrought. But it's above all a useful book, for life-the good bits and the sad ones, too.”
— Richard Ford" She is a lovely writer and i really enjoyed the first half of the book, but then we got so bogged down in her grief that it became awful and stagnant for too long. the ending picked up a bit, but overall, I don't think I could recommend this to anyone. "
— Al, 5/20/2011" Good but for some reason I got a little bored 1/2 way through. Maybe I've read too many death memoirs lately. "
— BEth, 5/11/2011" I think I'm too close to the subject to really write a good review. "
— Sarah, 5/5/2011" Too long and clinical for me. Everyone has to do grief in their own way. "
— Nancy, 4/29/2011" Heartbreaking but written so well and with such genuine honesty. "
— Kathleen, 4/28/2011