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Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are Audiobook
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(3.02) - 115 listener ratings
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Publisher Description
Discover the unexpected ways friends influence our personalities, choices, emotions, and even physical health in this fun and compelling examination of friendship, based on the latest scientific research and ever-relatable anecdotes. Why is dinner with friends often more laughter filled and less fraught than a meal with family? Although some say it's because we choose our friends, it's also because we expect less of them than we do of relatives. While we' re busy scrutinizing our romantic relationships and family dramas, our friends are quietly but strongly influencing everything from the articles we read to our weight fluctuations, from our sex lives to our overall happiness levels. Evolutionary psychologists have long theorized that friendship has roots in our early dependence on others for survival. These days, we still cherish friends but tend to undervalue their role in our lives. However, the skills one needs to make good friends are among the very skills that lead to success in life, and scientific research has recently exploded with insights about the meaningful and enduring ways friendships influence us. With people marrying later- and often not at all- and more families having just one child, these relationships may be gaining in importance. The evidence even suggests that at times friends have a greater hand in our development and well-being than do our romantic partners and relatives. Friendfluence surveys online-only pals, friend breakups, the power of social networks, envy, peer pressure, the dark side of amicable ties, and many other varieties of friendship. Told with warmth, scientific rigor, and a dash of humor, Friendfluence not only illuminates and interprets the science but draws on clinical psychology and philosophy to help listeners evaluate and navigate their own important friendships.
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"I thought the title, Friendfluence, interesting to say the least. My only complaint was that the topic broached was so meaty that I couldn't feel entirely satisfied with so short a book. But thanks anyway, Carlin, for validation that 'friends are the family we get to choose'."
— Kathleen (4 out of 5 stars)
Quotes
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“Contemporary scientists and ancient philosophers agree: friendship is a key to happiness, and Friendfluence is a fascinating and thought-provoking examination of the new science that explores this crucial element of our lives. Friendfluence is so persuasive that the minute I put the book down, I made three dates to see friends.”
— Gretchen Rubin, New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project -
“Friendfluence provides a charming and informative examination of the impact of friendship at a time in which family relations and social structures have been scrambled…Awash in arresting insights with practical implications, many of them counter-intuitive…Timely, savvy, and judicious.”
— Huffington Post -
“Flora’s interdisciplinary discussion draws on scientific research, philosophy, and anecdotes to examine friendship across a lifespan, from playground pals to adolescent and adult relationships…Compelling…Discloses many of friendship’s secrets.”
— Publishers Weekly -
“Intriguing…A convincing case for nurturing friendships in many of the same ways we nurture relationships with partners and other family—both online and off.”
— Kirkus Reviews -
“If you’ve been thinking of starting a book club with your BFFs, here’s your first assignment.”
— BookPage -
“Carlin Flora has written a delightful book on the power of friendship. Combining the latest research with engaging stories, Friendfluence shines with authenticity and is a must-read for anyone who wants to know more about our ancient human desire to connect.”
— James H. Fowler, coauthor of Connected and professor of medical genetics and political science at the University of California, San Diego -
“We tend to think of friends as relationships we simply have, when in profound ways, friends both reflect and determine who we actually are. Happiness and success begin with self-knowledge, and as Carlin Flora shows us in her compelling and delightful book, Friendfluence, the key to understanding yourself may well lie in your friendships, past and present. This is a must-read for anyone looking to experience greater well-being…in other words, for everyone.”
— Heidi Grant Halvorson, PhD, author of Succeed and director of the Motivation Science Center, Columbia Business School -
“A captivating read about an eternally fascinating subject—friendship. Flora’s easy-to-read prose blends narrative and scientific research seamlessly. You will finish the book with a better understanding of why good friends are worth keeping.”
— Jane Gradwohl Nash, professor of psychology and one of the “Girls from Ames” -
“Friendfluence offers a penetrating look at our most taken-for-granted relationship. Carlin Flora’s observations, backed up by the latest research, will not only prompt you to dissect every key friendship you’ve had since kindergarten but inspire you to become a better friend.”
— Sally Koslow, author of Slouching toward Adulthood: Observations from the Not-So-Empty Nest and the novel With Friends Like These -
“I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t be who I am without my dear friends. Now Carlin Flora explains why and how friends matter so much. A fascinating read!”
— M. J. Ryan, author of This Year I Will
Friendfluence Listener Reviews
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" Fun survey of research on friends unfortunately lacks depth. "
— jen8998, 2/11/2014 -
" Exactly what I was looking for. Good writing, not great though. I liked reflecting on the various stages of friendship, in different times in my life. An enjoyable read. "
— Jenny, 1/22/2014 -
" Liked it...explains a lot about friendships and why/how they may dissolve/fizzle/implode. Wish I'd read this years ago.... "
— Phyllis, 1/11/2014 -
" I liked this book because it gave me the time to ruminate on my various friendships- past and present- and embrace appreciation for them as well as resolve to be a good friend (and the currency is usually time). "
— Karen, 11/25/2013 -
" I liked this book. The stats, the case studies, and the personal anecdotes all remind us to realize the impact (positive and negative) we have on others. "
— Nicole, 11/11/2013 -
" Interesting, but she zips through each topic too quickly. It would be great if she could have gone into more depth...I found myself not being able to latch onto details because she has so many sources and jumps around so much. "
— Amy, 11/10/2013 -
" Read previews on Amazon & Google Books. I do not plan on reading the rest. It is entertaining and well-written, but does not conform to the tentative conclusions of scientific inquiry. I'd rather read ScienceDaily. "
— Zachary, 8/18/2013 -
" We should be able to give half-ratings. I'm torn between giving this a 3 and a 4. 3 1/2 would be perfect, somewhere between liked it and loved it. :) "
— Georgette, 7/12/2013 -
" Nothing earth-shattering, no new revelations, but OK. "
— Cynthia, 6/27/2013 -
" Interesting, but lacking in the Internet era. Only one chapter devoted to Facebook etc...at a time of "Catfishing" the topic was not even breached. "
— Beth, 6/2/2013 -
" Really disappointed in this book. Pretty much everything was cited from other research and everything else was common sense. "
— Krista, 5/1/2013 -
" Friends have both good and bad influences on us, and we all could use more of them. "
— Sean, 4/13/2013
About Carlin Flora
Carlin Flora was on the staff of Psychology Today for eight years, most recently as features editor. She is a graduate of the University of Michigan and Columbia University School of Journalism and has written for Discover, Glamour, Women’s Health, and Men’s Health, among other publications. She has also appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, CNN, Fox News, and 20/20. She lives in Queens, New York.
About Karen Saltus
Karen Saltus has narrated television and radio commercials, audiobooks, textbooks, multimedia, film, and voice prompts for interactive telephone applications. She began her career thirty years ago at a radio station in Portland, Maine. She later became a creative director for a station in Massachussetts. In 1994 she became a full-time freelance voice-over talent.