An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity. What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships—are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the “A” of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy. Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don’t want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen’s careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness.
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"This is a really great overview and starting place for anyone who wants to understand the breadth and diversity of what it means to be on the ace spectrum. Even for people who don't identify with any part of asexuality, this book would still provide perspective on sexuality-related biases prevalent in everyday culture.
No one book could ever cover the entirety of the experience, but this one walks through a dozen or so of the big-ticket intersectional points. It tells a small story for each, using examples and stories in the words of people living in that space. Some of those spaces are more realized than others, but even the smallest facet in this book is still presented in a way as to give the reader a toe-hold on the vocabulary to go out and learn more.
I would absolutely feel comfortable pointing to this book anytime someone asks where they could learn more."
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Rick O (5 out of 5 stars)