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How to Get a Girlfriend When Youre a Terrifying Monster Audiobook, by Marie Cardno Play Audiobook Sample

How to Get a Girlfriend When You're a Terrifying Monster Audiobook

How to Get a Girlfriend When Youre a Terrifying Monster Audiobook, by Marie Cardno Play Audiobook Sample
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Read By: Natalie Beran Publisher: Tantor Listen Time: at 1.0x Speed 1.83 hours at 1.5x Speed 1.38 hours at 2.0x Speed Series: Monster Girlfriend Release Date: November 2025 Format: Unabridged Audiobook ISBN: 9798331950064

Quick Stats About this Audiobook

Total Audiobook Chapters:

13

Longest Chapter Length:

33:16 minutes

Shortest Chapter Length:

03:34 minutes

Average Chapter Length:

12:44 minutes

Audiobooks by this Author:

1

Publisher Description

Life is tough when you're an eldritch abomination.

Trillin isn't technically a person. She's a tiny breakaway piece of consciousness from the all-devouring Endless, doomed to eventually rejoin it. But when a human witch stumbles into her world, Trillin suddenly has a new reason to figure out individuality—one shape-shifting tentacle at a time.

Sian is sure important magical discoveries are just around the corner, if she can just get her portals to work reliably. Reaching the dimension of the Endless without being eaten on sight is a dream come true, and Sian is determined to explore every bit of it. For science, of course, not for the strangely adorable life-form who keeps popping up and trying to . . . flirt?

But Trillin's world can be a dangerous place, and keeping Sian safe might risk drawing the attention of the Endless itself—which will swallow Trillin up along with all her dreams of humanity. Together, can this unlikely duo escape the Endless, figure out the optimum number of appendages, and maybe even find love?

How to Get a Girlfriend (When You're a Terrifying Monster) is a sapphic cozy fantasy romance between a witch scientist and a shape-shifting Cthulhu monster.

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About Natalie Beran

Saskia Maarleveld is an experienced voice-over actress and Earphones Award–winning narrator. Raised in New Zealand and France, she is highly skilled with accents and dialects, and many of her books have been narrated entirely in accents other than her own. In addition to audiobooks, her voice can be heard in animation, video games, and commercials.